MOH bails on everything last minute.. what would you do?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

She’s your MOH, not slave. She is not required to be at any of those things. Your wedding is not as important to other people as it is to you. Sorry to be so blunt about it… But yeah.

Post # 3
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

FutureMrsKenward:  If she doesnt show up to the dress fitting I would have a conversation with her stating that you understand it is a huge committment and that you dont want to place any additional stress on her. But given that she has been unable to attend any events so far (with no call most of the time!) that you believe it would be in everyones best interest for her to step down.

She can be a regular bridesmaid or step down all together – that is up to you. That is so messed up she couldn’t even call to explain why she didnt come. I would be really upset. I would also probably call or shoot a text today AND in the morning to check if she is still coming.

Post # 5
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

graygodess20:  Totally get that! These are not required things…but don’t you think she at least owes an explanation as to why she blew off these events multiple times? She could have just declined when asked or stated her schedule was going to be pretty hectic etc. I think its awful to make a committment and bail without so much as a text.

Post # 4
Member
11712 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t understand why she needs to be at these events.  Menu tasting and decor appointments should be you and your fiance, not your MOH. 

It’s annoying that she keeps flaking, but maybe this is a passive-aggressive way of her saying she’s not really into planning your wedding?  Being in a wedding only means buying the dress and showing up on time for the ceremony, sober, in said dress.  I think people put to high of an expectation on their bridesmaids and then get disappointed when they aren’t around on the bride’s beck and call.

Post # 8
Member
11712 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

FutureMrsKenward:  Oh, well that sort of changes that part of my answer.  It’s weird that she’ll flake on stuff she’s expressed interest in.  Does she usually flake on non-wedding stuff too? 

If she flakes on your dress appointment too, I’d try talking to her about her scheduling.  Maybe something else is going on that you don’t know about. 

Post # 11
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You are asking her to attend these events. She’s not volunteering. People have a hard time saying No and will over commit just to cancel later.

Next time you ask her out to do ssomething tell her she has time to think about it. If she doesn’t give you an answer move on and go without her and no hard feelings. “I was planning to do such and such on this date. If you would like to join me please check your schedule and let me know by this date.” This does not put her on the spot and shows her you respect whatever else she has going on.

Post # 12
Member
11712 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

FutureMrsKenward:  Definitely strange.  Maybe she didn’t answer because she was sleeping off her illness?  (Trying to give her the benefit of the doubt / being devil’s advocate).  I’d talk to her about it – if she’s supposed to be your best friend, you should be able to have the discussion, right?  Maybe all you have to say is that you’d love for her to attend the events, but you understand if she can’t/doesn’t want to, and that it feels like she’s flaking/lying/hiding stuff rather than telling you she just doesn’t want to come.

Post # 13
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

whoops… Edited: replied to wrong person. after the second time of her bailing, you shouldn’t count on her saying that she’ll be there. I would just stop asking her to go along to these things. That way you won’t be disappointed 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  .
Post # 15
Member
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

If she’s telling you she’ll come to these things but isn’t showing, I would be upset. If she doesn’t show at your fitting, say something. Tell her that she doesn’t have to say she’ll come to these things, but if she says she will and doesn’t, that’s just rude! If this is a big deal to you I would say drop her as moh and find someone else. If it’s too late for that you don’t have to have a MOH

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors