Post # 1
So a few months back I was getting ready to go to work when my dad rang my FI. I knew from my FI tone straight away that something had happened. I immediately thought my nan as she has been very ill but then my FI started saying ‘he’ and was shaking. I kept shouting at him what has happened please just tell me.
He got off the phone and just looked at me and said ‘***** has died’. I just looked at him and said what? And then burst in to tears and was inconsolable for hours.
My best friend, my ‘sister’, my maid of honour had lost the love of her life. He was 24 years old. They were planning their wedding after ours and were moving in together and going travelling around America. It was completely unimaginable.
He had suffered a brain haemorrhage and it was completely sudden. There were no signs at all. Not one single sign. He had a lovely morning with his family and then collapsed and died at the age of 24 years.
I saw my friend the day it happened and I had no words for her. What could I say?
Unfortunately the funeral was on the day that was exactly a year to our wedding. Now I’m planning my day and she is 100% involved and so amazing. She is helping me every step of the way with it all and has the most amazing spirit. She is such an incredible person and my life would not be the same without her. Sometimes I cant help but think she is sad and I do not want to thrust my wedding in her face but she reassures me she is completely fine and always tells me how happy she is for me.
I’m not sure how she will be on the actual wedding day as it will have been exactly a year that we buried him but I am planning on a memorial table with his picture at the reception and going to give her a locket with his picture to wrap around her bouquet.
I still cannot believe this lovely man, this gentle giant who was over 6ft tall, has gone and left our lives so young. I will never ever get over it and I cant help thinking “what if that was my FI?” it really messed me up. Seeing how amazing my MOH has been and how she has dealt with it makes me feel like I cant be sad and cant feel like that because she is so incredibly strong! She always says ‘he wouldn’t want me to be sad, he would want me to live my life like we always had planned to’. What an remarkable, amazing, inspiring person she is. I just really had to share how much I love her.
Post # 3
Wow… that is absolutely heartbreaking! You seem like such a great friend to her also and I hope you know that and can see that. I am so sorry for your guys’ loss. You two seem lucky to have one another to help you through!
Post # 4
@Mrs_Lewis2b: wow, I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s so nice to think of the locket idea for her. What a sad time
Post # 5
Honestly and you probably don’t want to hear this but I would change my date.
Im am sorry that you and your MOH have to go through this and it sounds like she is an amazingly strong person but that date would be offlimits for me.
Post # 6
@Mrs_Lewis2b: This is so heartbreaking. You have an amazing friend to be so selfless and stick by your side! I think it’s really sweet what you’re doing as the memorial for him.
Post # 7
@Mrs_Lewis2b: I am so unbelieveable sorry for your loss!!! It is going to be so hard for your MOH, but I know you and your fiancé will be there for her during this difficult time. I really love the way you plan on honouring him at your wedding. I think it is beautiful, and I’m sure your MOH would appreciate it. Just to be on the safe side, you might want to mention what you plan on doing to commemorate him at the wedding, closer to the date. As much as you want to honour him, it might cause her to be more emtional than she wanted to be. I would maybe suggest double checking with her but you do know your friend best!) In terms of her participation in planning your wedding, I would just take cues from her.
Post # 8
That is so sad … oh geez it’s stories like that that make you touch wood and hope nothing like that ever happens to you. It’s so tragic and you can’t make sense out of that kind of loss 🙁
I wouldn’t change the date of your wedding. I’d only change it if he died on that date.
Case in point, my Nana’s funeral was the other day and it was also my Dad’s birthday. Will he remember it as being her funeral date for the next few decades of his birthday? I don’t really think so, but he will probably always remember the day she died.
Post # 9
Thank you for all your kind words!! Honestly, she has made me the friend I am, it is all down to her and how she has taught me to always think of others.
Unfortunately changing the date is impossible now as invites have been ordered and venues and church booked, would mean us loosing around £20k. She has told us not to change a thing because of her and that she would rather remember the day as a happy day then remember it for such a sad day. She has told me she is kind of relieved that the wedding is on that date as is preoccupies her mind on happy things.
Thanks you, I really had to share her amazingness!!!!
Post # 10
@j_jaye: I agree. I’d move the wedding by one day. My uncle passed away in 2008, and his funeral was on my aunt’s 50th birthday. When they planned it, she said she’d be honoured, but now she regrets it.
Post # 11
@Mrs_Lewis2b: You have a really great friend there.
Post # 12
@j_jaye: She is amazing and so beautiful.
I have spoken to her at length about it and she is more than happy for the reason I mentioned. If it was the day he died then I would def consider moving the date. I think it will be good for her like she says!
Post # 13
@Mrs_Lewis2b: that is tragic, and just unfathomable. i’ve alos lost several friends, family through the years. your MOH is incredible. treasure her, always, and your honoring him at your wedding will be perfect! <3