Post # 1
My MOH just got a promotion at work, which is great news! But she has to go to corporate training in Chicago over my wedding weekend, which is terrible news! She called today to say she wouldn’t be there and now I have no idea what to do. The wedding is in 6 weeks and I know I should focus on logistics (like do I include her in the programs, name another BM as MOH, demote a groomsman to usher to keep even numbers) but mostly I’m just really really sad. Has anyone else experienced something similar? What should I do about the practical things?
Post # 3
oh man thats a toughy. i know this sounds mean but i would ask if how she would feel if you changed the MOH?
Post # 4
I’m sorry about that. I ended up not having my MOH able to attend either. My only BM was my SIL for the wedding. Do you have other bridesmaids? You could bump one of them up, or just not even have a MOH.
Post # 5
Aw that stinks, I think you should upgrade one of your BMs to MOH. I wouldn’t worry about having even sides.
Post # 6
Thats to bad. If I were you I would just list all the bridesmaids as bridesmaids or as MOHs and not have the seperation, dont demot a groomsmen though, that would just be hurtful for him.
I would have one really lucky groomsmen just walk down with two girls 🙂
Post # 7
That does really suck. Well, it’s an understandable situation and it’s not the end of the world to either bump up an MOH or just not have one. Maybe you and FI could do without an MOH or best man… and you can ask a close family member/sibling to stand on your side.
Post # 8
I would say you should NOT try to upgrade someone this close to your wedding. I’m guessing at this point your MOH has already helped you a lot with things like showers and a bachelorette party. Naming someone else MOH would hurt her feelings and the new MOH would certainly feel like a second choice (because she was after all). I would just go ahead and have uneven sides at the wedding. List your MOH in the program and following her name write a note that she was unable to attend.
Post # 9
If you want to have even numbers walking down the aisle, could you have the Best Man already up there with the groom when the rest of the processional starts? And then have him escort two of the ladies out at the end of the ceremony?
Post # 10
Thanks so much for the thoughts, ladies. So, the dynamic with the bridal party was already kind of weird. My MOH was my “best friend” since we were 8 yrs old. We actually only see each other very occasionally and have little in common anyway, but we’ve remained friends. BM M is really close. We met and roomed together all through college, we see eachother often and she is incredibly sweet. She has actually done a lot more relating to showers, bachelorette and general wedding prep. Part of me felt like she should be MOH anyway, since I mainly picked the other girl out of loyalty.
As far as demoting a groomsman, its my 14 yr old little brother, at my mom’s request. She thought he might feel left out. My FIs sisters make up the rest of my bridal party and his groomsmen are all his brothers. But I really don’t think my brother actually wants to be in the wedding, or would care either way.