- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
This is my first time posting here but I love reading the boards and threads. I apologize in advance for this long post but it has been something I have been mulling over for some time now and maybe need some objective advice!
When I got engaged last year, I had decided that my Maid/Matron of Honor would be my graduate school roommate. We were close throughout graduate school and even after I graduated and moved away. We continued to keep in touch through email and phone. When she graduated last year, I flew to her graduation ceremony and spent the weekend with her. Since then, she has entered the military and moved to a different state. We still continued to talk and have phonedates every few weeks and were good close friends.
Recently, the last time I spoke with her was late March. I was preparing to go away for a few months earlier this summer and tried to contact her several times by phone, email and text. I never once received any reply. I was honestly worried about how she was doing but never heard a peep. I didn’t know if I had done something to offend her or if she was upset at me.
A few weeks ago, I emailed her again. I had not heard from her in 6 months by this point. I asked if perhaps she had a change of heart and no longer wanted to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. No reply. A few days ago, I emailed yet again and asked regarding the whole Maid/Matron of Honor issue and if I should be thinking about an alternate. I finally receive a reponse via text message that she has not had access to her email account and that she has been really busy with work. Now I understand that her work is very demanding and takes a lot of her time.
Finally spoke to her on the phone tonight and when I asked her why I haven’t heard from her in so long her response was “I don’t know” and “I didn’t think it has been that long.” We had a chance to catch up during this conversation and she asked about the wedding plans but it sounded like the wedding related questions were obligatory. I finished the conversation feeling very dissatisfied and sad. Dissatisfied because I felt like I was giving her another chance to explain why the long period of silence but came up empty. Sad because our conversation was so stilted and not as open as it used to be.
Now I’m just not sure what I should do. Should I still have her be my Maid/Matron of Honor even though I feel she has not made the effort as a friend for the past few months? Should I just let it go and accept her reasoning that she’s been extremely busy? Should I ask another of my close friends whom I’m very close to as well and has been very supportive from the get-go?
I’ve been wavering as to what to do and still have no clue. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and don’t want to lose my friend.
Thank you all in advance for listening to me ramble.