- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
My maid of honor was my sister. I recently got back the pro pics and my moh is in a lot of them. She just gave me a horrible email saying that she wants me to take them off of my facebook and to not hang them in my house or show anyone. I realize that she is way over weight but she is my sister and I dont want to not have any pro pics or pics others took on my walls or anything else. Its bull crap that she is doing it, or am i overreacting.
I also have my aunt who is all apset about it as well that I wont take my aunts pics down either. These gals arent the only ones in most of these pics and I dont think that it is fair. I did take down the ones of my aunt that she was alone in. My sister moh isnt alone in ANY except for one. She wants me to even take down the ceremony pics too just because she is in the background.
Am i over reacting for being pissed at my sister and aunt for asking this of me?
Pleeze help
first pic me and my sister
second pic my sister/ my aunt/ me/ and my girls
IMG_4055.jpg (3395.7 KB, 353 downloads) 1 year old IMG_4256.jpg (2029.3 KB, 307 downloads) 1 year old 
I'd use your judgment in it while trying to be somewhat sensitive to them. Definitely take down any pics of them alone, and untag them on facebook (if they're tagged). Also... if there is any where they look bad maybe take those down? I don't know that you need to have ALL of your photos on facebook ya know? Maybe just a handful. About the pics you hang in your home... that is really up to you.
I think everyone who accepts the duties of maid of honor knows that they will be in many of the wedding photos... so in a way your sister's requests are a little crazy. Especially her request that you don't hang them in your home!! Are you supposed to burn all your wedding pictures now??
Does your sister have a facebook and does she have other photos of herself posted online and just doesn't like the wedding ones? Or does she not want photos of herself posted online AT ALL (not just the wedding ones)?
Could you maybe take down some of them and put up a cropped version instead?
Not everyone likes their pictuers being up on facebook for the world to see so I can understand where your sister and aunt are coming from there. Definately un-tag them (if they are tagged) and use your discretion on others?
But what you hang in your house is entirely your business.
I guess with FB just tell her to untag pix if she doesnt like them. as for pictures at your house why should she have a say in what you have around the house?
I think it's reasonable for your MOH to ask that photos be removed from Facebook. But saying you shouldn't display them in your home is too much. It's your house!
@bRooklynRocks: that's the first thing I noticed too! haha, I really want to know why she looks so angry.
The sister and aunt, however, look fine, I don't really understand why they'd be upset about pictures being up in your home, that's not their decision. I could see if they don't want them on Facebook, so maybe only put up some of them there, or crop them out, if possible, at least untag them. However, they were at the wedding, posing for pictures, did they really think you would never show them to anyone?? That's just crazy talk.
@teaadntoast: I agree. Facebook is a touchy topic. It's a public place, and I can totally understand not wanting pictures up there. But your house?! No, she can't control what you display at home. I'd take photos off of FB but leave them anywhere "private" (home, personal office, etc.).
@bRooklynRocks: She is mad that we wont let her have candy minutes before walking down the aisle LOL
I say its fair to post a few on facebook - the good ones but leave her untagged in all of them. As far as your own wedding photos in your home... tough cookies but those are your memories and wedding! They're def going to be printed and put in a wedding book. You can't control what guests did either so they may have them printed/online too.
@MaggieGirl: I agree with you. People should know that if they are in the wedding party- they are going to get their picture taken. Though I can understand not wanting to be tagged in some pictures on facebook. there are a few of me that I wish never saw the light of day. But the best thing you can do is untag them.
Not hanging them in your house.... that's a little crazy to me.
If they aren't tagged in them then there's no why to like search for them and have that pop up, so they couldn't make that argument. They should have realized beforehand that you're going to want to show off the pictures from your wedding day! And you shouldn't be punished for their insecurities!
facebook is one thing... you home is another. NO ONE has a right to tell you what you can and can't hang in your own house.
I agree with the others on FB. Crop 'em out and untag them and/or remove them.
Come to think of it... my SIL doesn't have many of her and my bro on their wedding day up in their house. (will be different with us, since it'll be one of the rare times we'll have SO MANY of our friends together in a photo!!! I sooo can't wait for it! LOL! I've already got a photo of me and another friend in a frame on display in our apartment, lol I LOVE photos, so when we get our own house, there will be LOTS of photos around the house...)
anywhos... I'd take 'em off FB and hang whatever I want in my house. One's the internet, the other is MY HOUSE!!!
OMG! I know this is a serious issue, but it made me laugh so hard to see the little girl frowning AND because my cousin had the same issue! She had an overweight sister (my other cousin) as a BM (the sister had been FURIOUS about not being the MOH, she was really terrible during all the planning), anyway when pictures came out she put them all up on facebook and her sister pitched a fit about how she looked fat in all the pictures (I actually thought she looked decent) anyway, my cousin the bride was so tired of dealing with it that she photoshopped my other cousin out of all the pictures (it was very noticeable) and she posted under all the photoshopped pictures *sister does not want to be on facebook* her sister was even more angry and finally told her she could put the regular ones up. It was so much drama over all the pictures!
I understand your point of view and I definitely think you've gotten some good advice here. You're not crazy and I can totally see why you're upset.
I'm only pointing out that your aunt and sister aren't trying to hurt you. They have some seriously low self-esteem and are very unhappy with how they look. This isn't about you or your wedding. It's about what they see when they look at the pictures. It's not the same as what you see, I promise.
I deleted some of the ones so far. oviously I cant delete photos that are groups and wouldnt want too. I dont know how to untag but on there profile they have already deleted it so hopefully thats good enough. I deleted about 45 pics most of the others that especially my sister is in--is group and i left only a few of her and I together on there and put my pics under friends only so hopefully that will help. Ugg this is fustrating. as for the pics around the house my pro photographer already made a huge callage for the wall and im not going to put it in a closet just because someone tells me too. so fustrating and neither of them have been nice at all about it they have been down right rude and threatining.
any more advice welcome
thank you beez
I'm sorry to hear you're caught in this situation.
Have you considered restricting your album down to only a few select people (like the ones who attended the wedding) and still taking some pictures down?
As for the pictures in your home - um...I'd ignore your sister. I don't tell my sister how to decorate her home and what she should and shouldn't use in her picture frames. Your sister needs to understand that just b/c she's unhappy with herself she shouldn't punish you by demanding you to not display your wedding pictures!
I can understand the whole facebook thing. I know I have friends that DO NOT LIKE getting tagged on FB. I don't care one way or the other since I don't have an account. I know I've been surprised when I go out and my sister calls me the next day "BR, I saw you at so so and so place, looked like you were having fun" Anyhow, agreeing with PP's, take her down on FB, or look for pics without her to put on FB. For your place, do you.
I am pretty sure if she doesn't want them on facebook, she doesn't want them here, posted for a bunch of random strangers to gawk at.
I'm not saying she's right, though. I think she might need some time/patience, but she's going to have to get over it. Is she capable of having a rational conversation about it? She has no right to dictate what you hang on your walls at home. I can sort of understand being sensitive to electronic coppies of photos...but, at the same time, that all happened. The event happened, she was there, she looked exactly like that for that brief moment in time and people not seeing the photographic proof isn't going to change the fact. She needs to accept that.
I would remove them off facebook for her. However I think you should have them around your house if you want to. You did pay for someone to take the pictures. In my opinion if she is too concerns she could have said she doesn't want to be in a lot of pictures. You are her sister and if you enjoy having nice pictures of the both of you around then she shouldn't feel self concious she should feel flattered. I totall understand how she might feel I am overweight myself. There are some pictures I don't want on facebook but I would never tell my sister to keep them locked up.
Why did she even bother posing for the photos if she's so upset by them?
What did she think would happen? The photographer would just throw all the photos out?
Definitely de-tag her on the facebook photos but there's no need to remove them completely and she certainly can't dictate what you can and can't have on display in your own house.
I would be so ticked and I personally would say "too bad, so sad" because there is no way I would take the photos off of FB or off of my walls. I think that it is a given that the people in my wedding party are going to have a lot of pictures taken of them and the pictures are going to be displayed. Its not like these are bad prom pics. This is your wedding. If they didnt want people to see the pics then they should not have posed for them. I would never post horrible pics of my wedding party but being overweight does not equal horrible pics in my book. That is what they look like and they knew that prior to taking all of those pictures.
I don't understand why they would pose for pics if they knew they'd ask you not to show them around?? That just seems ridiculous.
I'd say take down any where it's just them and you or just them in a small group but keep the larger group pics. I'm an "untagger" it's the easy way to control what's out there.
I can understand not wanting their pictures blasted all over facebook because a lot of people don't like their pictures posted online. However, they cannot tell you what pictures to hang up in your house or what pictures you share with people. Take them off facebook but put whatever you want up in your house.
Gotta say, I'd be pissed too. They're your wedding pics and of course you want to share them! I'd say untag them on FB but keep them up. Love the angry flower girl, btw. classic! :-)
I agree with many of the PPs. Take them off Facebook, but it's completely within your rights to hang them in your home or show people who ask to see wedding pics.
Take them off Facebook, but as far as hanging them in your home- she's asking too much. What you put in your home is your business.
The scowling flower girl is cracking me up. Best picture ever.
I'm not sure how your relationship is with your sister, but if my sister asked me to take down photos of my wedding day I'd straight up tell her "no". If they were just any pictures like a weekend bbq or something I'd probably be more sensitive, but this was your wedding and you PAID to have these photos taken. She shouldn't have posed in all the pictures if she wasn't comfortable being photographed and just because she's in them doesn't give her ownership or the right to tell you how to display them. I'd just untag her and be done with the discussion.
I have to side with you on this one. I mean, when you accept the MOH position, It's kind of understood that you'll be in most of the photos. I understand that it's tough when you're not at the weight you want to be at (if that's even why she's upset), but it gets to a point where you need to accept how you look. I mean, these are your wedding photos, not evidence from a random drunken night at a bar.
Personally, I would remove any photos of them alone, and untag them (like CorgiTales suggested), but that's about as far as I'd go. Not wanting you to put them up in your own home is ridiculous and borderline insane.
I would take down any photos that they are in along. Keep all the ones up that have them in the background or they are in with other people, just don't tag them on facebook.They are YOUR wedding photos and when someone goes to a wedding or agrees to be in a wedding they obviously know a photographer is there!
Also they should have absolutely no say in what is put up at your house and you shouldn't have any problem telling them that, it's YOUR house!
I think they are both being ridiculous in their requests.
@mtbutterflyrose: Yes, I'm sorry but the FG is hysterical. That's sooo a keeper!
She looks great! I don't get it. Must be that she hasn't accepted herself for who she is. Great MOH dress for her! I love it. She looks beautiful. Sorry you are dealing with this right now.
and to answer your question, you are NOT overreacting. She is overreacting and being very selfish.
First, I love the pout on your flower girl, she is hilarious and cute.
As for your sister and aunt, you are completely justified in being upset, but unfortunately the kind thing to do is to honor their wishes. It's difficult to imagine in this era where it seems everyone has publicly accessible images of them all over the place, but not everyone wishes to be viewable by thousands of strangers, and people do have the right to that level of privacy. My mother also doesn't like the way she looks in photos and has requested that I refrain from posting any wedding photos of her on Facebook. I'm sad that I won't be able to share with my friends the meaningful moments like my mom zipping up my dress, but I respect her desire for privacy.
On the other hand, I certainly will be posting photos where my mother is just in the background, and as for what you hang on the walls of your own home, that's ridiculous that your sister and aunt think they can tell you what to do in that regard. If they wanted to control your wedding photos that tightly, they should have avoided being in any photos in the first place. (Which would have obviously been another can of worms). I say hang up whatever photos you like in the privacy of your own home, and be respectful about what you post publicly on Facebook - ones where they're in the background are fine, but ones where they're front and center just shouldn't be posted so publicly.
I deleted most of the pics of those two but unfortunatly I really really dont want to delete photos like this one of everyone that ill post here. I didnt delete ones with them in the background... pics taken of other people and my sister and or aunt ended up in the background and they are asking that even those be deleted like the one of my uncle (my dad for the day) giving me a hug (both my sister and aunt are in the background. Its getting rediculas! Im getting angry at them and its making me not want to even talk to them for a while. uggg
IMG_4448.jpg (1254.3 KB, 89 downloads) 1 year old IMG_4200.jpg (1988.5 KB, 91 downloads) 1 year old 
Many people do not want their faces on the internet and I think you need to respect that for whatever their reasoning is. As for hanging pictures in your home, I think she should have realized she would be in your pictures and you would want to DO something with them. Could you talk to your sister about it after you have calmed down a little from the announcement? Maybe you could pick out together a couple of the photos that could go up - there must be a couple she doesn't mind.
I think it's ridic that they want you to take that picture down with you and your dad. They came to the wedding, your sister decided to be your maid of honour. I'm pretty sure they knew there were going to be pictures taken, and if they didn't want their pictures taken they shouldn't have come. When I go to a wedding I always expect a photographer, or even just guests taking pictures. I'm sorry but I wouldn't do anymore than you already have if I were you, except take all the ones down that they are alone in, and untag them, and that's it. I would not take that picture of you hugguing your dad down, or group pictures, and if they got mad oh well.
I really hate when people act like this... it would be one thing if they really did look horrible in some select pictures, but to not let you put any up, come on. You love your sister and you're going to want memories of your wedding with her part of it. I dont think there's anything wrong with posting them on FB, as long as she's not tagged anymore. It doesn't have her name attached to the photo, so whats the big deal.
As for your house and album, that is ridiculous, I wouldn't even know how to go about that, but these people are missing the point, it's not about THEM, it was your wedding and you can do whatever you like with your pictures, especially in your home.
I would approach it gently, and just say that you understand where she's coming from, so you will take down some of the bad ones on FB, but not all, especially not the group ones, and that the pictures with her are treasured memories and you want them in your home and album to look back on...
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Rojocameo | 16 |
| Rivendeler | 15 |
| Suikerbossie | 9 |
| ellisrobertson | 9 |
| kat2014 | 8 |
| Future Mrs K | 8 |
| lionskitty | 8 |
| couawilou | 7 |
| keranos | 7 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 7 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| lionskitty | 1 |
| Futuremrscz | 1 |
