MOH drama continues

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

At this point etiquette would be out the door and I would tell her that none of them need to be there. Sometimes you just have to face the reality that people just don’t care and why would you want that in your photos for the rest of your life?

Post # 3
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

Isn’t this basically the same story you posted a few days ago? She already said she’s coming for the ceremony, so doesn’t that answer the bouquet question? I don’t think you’re going to get any different responses than what you did in your previous thread. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  MrsYokiman.
Post # 5
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

First, I agree that she’s being over the top about this guy. Any relationship where one person feels the need to monitor the other 24/7 is doomed, in my book. However, that’s her business, not yours. As to her not coming to things other than the ceremony, I’m confused – why can’t she “babysit” him during the reception and rehearsal dinner? Isn’t he invited to those? It’s lame that she doesn’t want to come to the bachelorette or get ready in the morning, but not the end of the world. I’d try to talk to her again and see if she has a reason for bailing on all these things. 

I don’t think she’s doing any of this to be purposefully mean to you. I think she’s just caught up in a jerk of a guy and not seeing straight. Which sucks. It’s up to you if you accept her when she’s behaving like this.

Post # 6
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Nothing has changed. You’re still talking poorly about the girl. I would just end the friendship, offer to refund the dress, and move on. Most people told you that you were wrong yet you’re back yet again talking about her relationship. You dont have to understand it. Who are you to need to understand it? She clearly won’t budge from her stupid position either. I don’t see a friendship here, sorry. 

Post # 7
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would exclude her altogether. If she can’t be a friend the day of your wedding, then she won’t be a good friend after. As long as she’s with her bf it seems there will always be problems. At this point she will choose him over you because she loves him and can’t see what everyone else sees. It’s a  toxic  relationship and some times you just need to step back and let her make her own decisions on her time. All you can do is have a heart to heart with her about how you’re feeling and go from there. 

Post # 8
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper

mrsbookworm38:  I would say that despite your apology she has seen your true self and no longer wants you as a friend. Sometimes when friends act really bad towards us then there is nothing in the world including an apology (which seems fake to me since you are still talking trash about her relationship) that would make us reconcile. 

You also seem more concerned about her screwing you over for your wedding than about the damage you did to your friendship..

Post # 9
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If this is your BFF of 20 years, don’t throw this relationship away.  It sounds like she’s in a really bad place of low self-worth and she’s deeply unhappy.  And seeing you in a happy place with a good man can’t be fun.  It’s easy to be friends when people are in their happy and giving moments, but when people are in their depressed and self-loathing moments, that’s when your friendship and support is needed the most. 

Having her just attend the ceremony, or attend as a guest, or not attend at all and not have a flower girl – none of these options will ruin your wedding.  Just make sure it doesn’t ruin a 20 year friendship.    

Post # 10
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

Good bye BFF, this day is about you and not her. You tried x

Post # 11
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

 

mrsbookworm38:  I have a few questions for you…… before the wedding how was your relationship with this girl?  Do you consider her a BFF because of the long amount of time you have been friends with her or because she is really a true, great friend? 

Right now I would suggest excluding her all together (this may change based on your answers)…… sometimes weddings and life changing events (babies, moving) have a major impact on friendships.  Some friends strengthen and some deteriorate.  I had a relationshop completely deflate during the wedding planning phase.  A girl that I had known for over 10 years backed out of the wedding and our friendship over her believing petty gossip and bad information.  Looking back I can honestly say that I do not miss this girl, her drama, her negativity and her poor life choices.  My only regret was asking her in the first place to share my special day……..

I think you need to take a step back, put the wedding aside and look at your friendship with this girl…. do you really want her in your life?????

 

Post # 12
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Isn’t this already a thread? 

Post # 13
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

God, this again? You screwed up. She’s clearly still pissed. Some things take time, not just an apology. Get her a freaking bouquet, if she comes to the ceremony, great. If not, well, you have an extra bouquet. Not the end of the world. 

I would love to hear her version of this story. “My BFF doesn’t like my boyfriend and didn’t invite him to her wedding even though I’m MOH. Then she relented and said he could come if it was important to me. What do I do?”

Most of us would be telling her how wrong the bride is. OH WAIT, that’s what we’re telling you. Get over yourself, OP. Stop talking trash about this girl and hope that she forgives you, because honestly, I wouldn’t want to be your friend if you treated me that way!

Post # 14
Member
1619 posts
Bumble bee

So, we’re down to she doesn’t want to waste buying a dress she won’t wear again, and you don’t want to waste buying a bouquet that won’t get used?

I think if you want to salvage any friendship with her (if that’s even possible at this point) you need to assume she’s doing what she last said she would do:  be there for the wedding. 

Pretty sad commentary on what’s become of a friendship.  However you did fire the first shot by not inviting her bf … and did it a long time ago. 

Post # 15
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

OMGMrsW2B:  Evidently, the OP didn’t make it clear enough in the first one how much of a crappy person her friend is for her horrible taste in men and because she didn’t fart glitter and glee everytime the wedding was mentioned. 

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