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Maybe go dress shopping together, trade ideas if you think the other will like it...something the both of you will be doing anyways, but that might be good for now.
I think you can ask if she is able to help for just about anything! But I also think it is totally fair if she says no to everything. As long as she gets her dress!
Dresses already done. :-) I'm struggling for help. She is sooo hard to get a hold of and meet up with. Maybe I just forget it. I told her at the beginning I understand all she is going through right now and told her as long as she's there for hte Bachlorette PT, Rehearsal Dinner and Wedding I'd be fine. But i would LOVE to have her more involved! I sound Contradicting don't i?! I can't help it, she's awesome and want her advice!
For me, my moh is out of town and therefor unable to do pretty much anything, and i don't expect her to. i asked her to be my moh knowing this, and i'm perfectly ok with it. i just want her to be there for me on my big day. so far she has thrown me an amazing bachelorette party weekend, and she will be planning my shower. other than that, like i said, she'll be with me the weekend of the wedding to help out but that's it. i would just be happy that she's able to be there for you at your wedding!
If she's really that busy, it may be best to sit down with her and say, I know you're super busy, so I don't want to give you a lot of stuff to do, but I'd still love for you to be involved with the planning. I'm not sure how to involve you - do you have any suggestions of small stuff you could help out with?
She'll really be the best judge of her own time, and may have some ideas you didn't think of. It's really best to get the expectations of what you need and want her to do out in the open so there isn't any animosity later if she doesn't accomplish things she may not have known she was supposed to do.
SO....I used all your advice :-( No such luck. I asked her if there was anything that she wanted to do, because I felt bad for not asking her for advice or help on things because she was so busy.
I asked her to just meet up for a drink, lunch or dinner ANYTIME that works for her. I got nothing :-(
I dont know what to do or say. The only response by email I got was, I'm going hunting this weekend I will let you know when I get back. Well she's been back all week and haven't heard anything. I'm ready to give up. I'm trying without pushing.
What do I do? I feel bad for her but at the same time I feel snubbed. For no reason
@AshCo...have you considered having her be a regular BM instead of MOH? It seems like in addition to being too busy, your friend seems to be uninterested in the job of MOH. I mean...she has time to go hunting but not to meet you for a drink?
I have thought of that as well. It's sooo hard to demote though.....SO SO HARD!!! we have been friends for 22 years! How do I go about that without offending?
I wouldn't worry about giving her stuff to do. Chances are, if she's that busy, and she keeps blowing off e-mails and such, she doesn't want to take on additional tasks, and no one can blame her for that.
Technically, all anyone in a wedding party is required to do (including MOH and best man) is just take care of their attire, travel arrangements and be there for the important events like the shower, b'ette, rehearsal dinner and the actual wedding. Other than that, their duties have been fulfilled. Planning the shower, b'ette and parts of the actual wedding is all extra that should be seen as icing on the cake.
I expected nothing more from our wedding party, and I'm pretty sure they were all thankful for that. I completely understand that you want her involved with some of the planning. Afterall, it's almost as fun to celebrate with our friends and families as it is with our future spouses, right? :) And don't take it personally when a wedding party member doesn't want to help. It doesn't mean they're not interested in your wedding, it just means that they also have their own lives.
@AshCo...ask her to dinner (which based on what you have typed so far...she won't have time for). Otherwise, send her and e-mail and let her know the things that you expect her to be involved in as a member of your wedding party.
As Miss Chapstick stated that's typically planning the shower, bachelorette party...and I will also add the final dress fitting b/c this is where your MOH learnd how to bustle your dress...if you have one.There may be other things you would like her to do, but I am sure that you would be more than happy with just those things.
I would then go on to say that you know she is busy and is also planning a wedding and bring up the idea that maybe she would be more comfortable in a lesser role.
Thanks ladies. I think when I don't get responses at all in general is what bothers me most. I am not asking of much from her. It's just hard to even get a phone conversation out of her. I will just leave it be and hope that things work out. I just dont' want it to get to the point when it comes down to the wire I cannot trust her all of a sudden. But we will see.
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So I have a MOH who is awesome. Love her to death Best Friends since we were 3 yrs old. She is also planning her own wedding that will be 2 months after mine. She is working 2 jobs as a Nurse so she doesn't have time really at all to help me. What would be some fair things for her to help me with, without over doing it and making it more stressful for her? Just small things I could ask of her. I have tried to get more help out of her but she is so hard to get in contact with. I admitt I was a little bitter at first but came to realize she is under as much stress if not more than me!
Any ideas of what she can help with without over doing it?! Any advice would help! Thanks!!!