moh duties & attending two showers?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: am i being a terrible moh
    yes, as moh you have to be there for both showers : (0 votes)
    no, you're doing your part by throwing the local shower : (23 votes)
    92 %
    other/explain : (2 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    42469 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    anonybee0810:  I would not expect you to attend an out of province shower, especially given that you are already hosting another shower.

    I do think however that you need to answer her right away. Just tell her that you are sorry but you already have other plans and wish her well.

    Post # 3
    Member
    1627 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    The invite was probably mostly out of courtesy because it is a great distance away. Just let her know you can’t make it. No big deal. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

    anonybee0810:  your only ‘requirement’ as MOH is to show up in the pretty dress at her wedding, sober.  Beyond that, everything is gravy.

    It’s wonderful of you to throw her a shower, that’s a gift from you to her but you are not REQUIRED to attend any pre-wedding events.  I’m sure she would love if you were there, but would completely understand if you aren’t.  It’s a long drive an you have already committed yourself to a shower on her behalf.

    You get to have a life too 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    2913 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

    Just tell her you have plans that day, but are so looking forward to celebrating with her at the local shower. If she gets huffy about it she is in the wrong.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1721 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    anonybee0810:  You wouldn’t be a bad MOH at all!  My MOH’s were put in a similiar situation…my family (on one side of the state) threw me a bridal shower, and then we had a bridal shower where we live for my friends and husbands family.  My sister, who was one of my MOH’s put on my shower in norcal, but wasn’t able to make the so cal shower.  It wasn’t a big deal..I completely understood.  My cousin (other MOH) was able to make both showers, which was great to have her there…but she knew she didn’t have to and I wouldn’t be upset if she couldn’t make it.  There are a lot of costs being involved in weddings, I’m sure she will understand if you can’t do both. 🙂

    Post # 7
    Member
    6505 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I wouldn’t expect my MOH to do that and would understand if she said no. That being said, I would only agree to be MOH for very close friends and therefore would be more willing to make a nine hour round trip for something like this.  Personally, if my tentative plans could easily be rescheduled I would go to the shower.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1136 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    anonybee0810:  I don’t think you should be expected to go all that way. Tell her you have plans and sus out how she feels, if she seems really bummed about you not being there and you don’t want to upset her, then go, but really I don’t think you have to go (seeing as its SO far away!) and no one should think badly of you if you don’t. Throwing her other shower and being there for that is enough 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    7195 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    anonybee0810:  You absolutely don’t need to attend. Even if it was the only shower I’d say you didn’t need to attend, but since you’re already throwing a shower you’ve certainly done enough already. I wouldn’t expect my MOH to travel 4.5 hours for *anything* except the wedding.

    If the trip was just the two of you, I’d see it as fun one-on-one time which you might consider attending (albeit with a rather boring bridal shower at the end).  But with her mother and fiance in the car too? Eugh, no thanks!

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