Weddingbee boards

Oh my gosh, sorry for so many posts recently. Ugh. So a new issue has at least taken the focus of the last one, and FI has been nothing but supportive where this is concerned.

So I will try to make this brief, as some of you know, my Matron of Honor was coming, not coming, then possibly coming again. So she called me last night hysterical, she said she had to make a choice on coming and she had to make it in the next 45 minutes. I told her and I quote "If you are looking for my blessing not to come, you know you already have it." I said this based on the notion that she did not want to leave her new baby, a reason which I was able to understand and accept.
 
Apparently, however, that was NOT why she called. She said she knew that I'd understand BUT she was thinking about it and "If my other sister could change her flight to come and fly with her, and leave her husband (my mentor), their two kids,(my niece: flower girl and nephew: ring bearer) at home together, she could come."

At this moment it was no longer about leaving her baby, she was obviously willing to do that, but now she just did not want to fly alone. Granted, I understand she wanted the other sister's emotional support, and if I would not have had to sacrifice my mentor, my ring bearer and my flower girl to give it to her, I would have been happy to miss them both at my rehearsal dinner, or pay any amount of money toward changing flights. However, hear me when I say this, the way I saw it, IT WAS NOT A CHOICE. They could both come. MOH G could get on the plane WITH OR WITHOUT other MOH K, which is why I got hysterical at the thought of losing three other important members of my very small wedding party to provide MOH G with this extra comfort. I have the text to Mentor that says "I'm crying, this isn't right," about two minutes before 5pm (the deadline).
 
Now, if there was a GOOD WHOLE REASON TO CHOSE, say there was truly only one plane ticket left in the world, and I had to choose between mentor and MOH G, of course I would pick MOH G. But the fact of the matter is, I should NEVER HAVE BEEN ASKED TO CHOOSE BETWEEN FAMILY MEMBERS. I repeat, MOH G  could have and still CAN get on that plane without MOH K. And if she had, though I know she has already decided not to, I would have looked at her on that day the same way I looked at her at my Bachelorette party, the same way I did at my shower, as someone who went to extreme lengths to be here because she loved me SO VERY MUCH. I did not want to look at her on that day thinking to myself of all I had to sacrifice for her to be here on this day, when none of it was truly necessary.

Do you all think I made the right choice? It will be so hard not having my sister there knowing I could have, but I still feel like it wasn't a choice at all. :(

@daydream, it's a complicated matter, but MOH G has to take a flight that's an extra $400 to avoid several hours of driving once arriving at the airport. To change all five flights (MOH K, MOH G, MENTOR, RING BEARER, AND FLOWER GIRL) it would have cost a total of an extra $3,000! $100 per flight change for the original flights and an additional $400+ per person for the extra flight ... no one has that kind of money.

Also MOH G already threw away 3 tickets my mom bought her for after she decided to leave her hubby at home with the baby and her other child, plus her own ticket because she wanted a flight time the airline mom got credit for the other two flights on didn't have. So we're talking another $1,500 that has already been wasted.

@cowgirl.. pretty much :(

You made the right decision.  It sounds like she really needs to get her sh*t together and that she is making everything more difficult for herself and everyone else. 

My Aunt HATES to fly and is terrified of it.  She just took two flights by herself (she has never flown alone before) to come and see my Mom for her birthday.  If it means that much to your sister to be there for your wedding she would make it happen.  I'm so sorry she is making you feel like it was your decision, it clearly wasn't.

Thanks everyone ... I've been crying for two days and haven't eaten not but two bowls of cereal and a piece of cheese. What kills me is that she said part of her final decision to not come was based on that my decision somehow implicated that I didn't really need her there. Ummmmm, given what I just told you about crying for two days straight and not even being able to eat, do you really think that's the case? This is so effed up.

She is 27.