Post # 1
Has anyone else had their MOH get married around the same time they are? I am really looking for tips to make sure that while my wedding isn’t forgotten about entirely, she gets to feel special even though she won’t be engaged for very long “by herself”.
I have been engaged since May and will be getting married in July. She has definitely been supportive and I knew this day was coming so I tried to make sure everything was lined up prior to this (shower dates, dresses bought, etc). However, she is going to be engaged any day now (I am helping her FI plan the proposal) and has indicated she want to get married in october. I want her to be able to enjoy planning her wedding without my wedding “cloudiing” it. So I want my wedding to take a back seat while we focus on her!
However, I dont want it to be forgotten either! Is there any way to find a happy medium?? Any tips??? I just dont want the next year to be tressful and not be able to enjoy any of it!
Post # 3
@NVACat: Most important tip I would think is to not go shopping “together” for wedding things – What I mean is, if she says she wants to go look at dresses or for tablecloths, make it her day and then arrange a seperate day for you, be there for her on her days with her wedding in mind, and vice versa for your days. Same with Bachelorettes and Showers – don’t have joint events.
Post # 4
I agree with Cariad: – just don’t do joint events. They always sound good at first, but then someone ends up with hurt feelings. Make sure you commit fully to being able to go to her bachelorette party, shower, etc, and that you don’t turn the focus of these events on you! Deflect if someone mentions your wedding, and say, “maybe we could grab coffee to discuss my wedding, friend, but today is all about MOH!”
So sweet of you to be concerned by this! I’m sure she’ll be touched that this is such a consideration for you.
Post # 5
@abbie017: Thanks for your kind words! I was so nervous to post this thinking people would think I was being selfish and wanting everything to be about me!
Post # 6
One of my BMs was married 4 months before me. Given the huge gap, we didn’t have any problems keeping our events separate, especially because we had very different guest lists. When I attended her wedding events, a few people asked about my wedding but I tried to keep the focus on my friend. She’s the one we were there to celebrate. We both got “our time” and it was wonderful to share everything with her. I think you’re lucky!!
Post # 7
Yes its hard. I was engaged V-Day and my BFF (not my MOH cause my cousin and sister are) got engaged 9-28 and her wedding is 5-18-13… Just 6 weeks after mine! I am her MOH. Luckily, I was a planner and already have everything pretty much figured out and done for mine. Tomorrow we get to dress shop for hers. Also 2 of the girls are in both mine and hers. We are a close group of friends though and I could not be happier for her:)
Post # 8
You get one day…sorry. Sounds like you are both just at a time when marriage makes sense. You both have very different relationships to celebrate. No one will confuse your wedding with hers and you can just think of it as a year filled with lots of love and celebrating.
Post # 9
I’m in a similar situation. Got engaged in September, wedding in July. MOH just got engaged in November, planning a December wedding. They’ll be totally different and both fun. It’ll be exciting to plan together (if only we weren’t separated by several states!)
Post # 10
@PinkAndPearls2013: One of my other bridesmaids is also planning her wedding at this time and I’ve LOVED getting to share the planning process with her… but it sucks that we’re so far away from each other.
However, because of this the day to day stuff is easier. I’m more concerned with my MOh that IKEA trips for frames becomming “combination trips” or something.