Post # 1
My sister who is also my maid of honor. Decided 5 weeks before my wedding to invite the guy she has been casually dating about 4 months and only met once (they live at least 4 hours away from one another(.
My fiance and I were under the impression he was only to attend the actual wedding, my sister assumes he’s should be able to attend the rehearsal dinner which consists of our immediate family, the wedding party and spouses (no casual dates here). We really wanted the rehearsal dinner to be an intimate dinner with our closest family and friends and think its inappropriate for a guy we met once to part-take in such an event. My sister of course thinks otherwise.
Am I clearly in the wrong here or does etiquette say she should be able to bring her "guest" to all wedding events? She invited him with only asking us about the wedding, not asking specifically about the rehearsal. HELP!
Post # 3
As a bridesmaid, I was told that only those in the actual rehearsal could attend the rehearsal dinner, so my date (bf of 2 years) could not attend with me.
Post # 4
My FI has been in two weddings in the last year or so and I’ve never been invited to the rehearsal dinner. I didn’t really expect to be, either – and I don’t for another upcoming wedding he’s in. I’ve always been under the impression that it was people in the wedding only.
Post # 5
In terms of etiquette, I have been informed that all out of town guests are invited to the rehearsal dinner, so if you are having your wedding in the same town that he lives in, then he can just stay at home. But, if he is traveling out of town (which you say he lives 4 hours away) it would be nice to invite him, and not have him sitting in a hotel room by himself while you sister is at the RD.
Also, are the other members of your WP bringing their guests to the RD? Because if your sister is the only one asking to bring a guest, this gives you the chance to say "nobody else is, we would like just the WP."
Post # 6
The only bridesmaids that brought "dates" to our rehearsal dinner were those who are married. I don’t think you are in the wrong here at all. You need to talk to her.
Post # 7
I agree with you that it is kind of awkward that she’s only met him once and wants to bring him to your rehearsal, but for the sake of a fight, should you just invite him?
My husband has been in two weddings (when I was his fiance and girlfriend) and both times I was invited to the rehearsal dinner. As a matter of fact, he couldn’t attend one of them because of a military commitment and I was encouraged to come to it without him. I even filled in for him during the rehearsal. I think it is important to be sensitive to the guests of your bridal party because though you will be with them the morning of, you and your groom will be busy at the reception. Allowing them to bring dates will help them be more comfortable in the long run.
My sister’s new boyfriend also attended our wedding (I’d only met him one time before the wedding, but spent a few days with him in the week before the wedding). To be honest, it worked out well because she was more at ease with him there. I personally invited all of my bridesmaids and groomsmen to bring a date if they wanted to the rehearsal dinner. Most of them who were in long-term relationships brought their significant others, but those who were not came single.
Good luck with your decision!
Post # 8
My FI was in a wedding last year that had a rehearsal dinner, and they were courteous enough to invite me. It’s your sister, and you two must be close if she is your MOH, give a bit and invite him. She will stay happy and you will have a harmonious wedding.
Post # 9
I think it’s pretty weird too…but if he’s travelling from out of town it might not make sense for her to ditch him during the RD. Although, OTOH, why can’t he come a day later?
I don’t know what your family dynamics are like at all, but is it possible your mom or someone could talk to her about this? Is she younger? I guess it would never have occurred to me to invite the guy I had been casually dating for a month (I actually had been) to my sister’s wedding. B/c it would just be a distraction from what was really important at that time. Of course everyone is different, though.
FYI, my younger brother has been dating his GF for 5 years (longer than FI and I), but they are not engaged partially b/c she is still in school far from where he lives/works now. We are inviting her to the wedding, and I’m not sure if he plans to bring her to the RD, but I don’t think so. And she’s not being seated at the family table for the reception…she will know other people there, but my mom is also adamant about that and my brother is fine with it. I’m just saying, it’s not at all weird that you’re uncomfortable with this. A guy she’s known for a few months isn’t even close to being family yet.