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It sounds like she isn't going to be somebody you can count on. Sorry, That being said, are there others who you can count on?
Firing a MOH is a friendship killer. Be VERY aware of that, once it's done, so is your friendship. You still want her in the wedding. Check. She wants to be in the wedding. Check check. But you both realize that the role of MOH is WAY over her head right now and she is too busy. Sounds like you need to ask one of your sisters to step up as MOH, and simply ask your friend to be a BM since she doesn't have the time devoted to being a MOH. Also, you may want to outline what you expect of your MOH, because she may not know her duties. Give her the chance to support you, but don't kick her out.
Well you said you'd like her to be in the wedding, but not as MOH anymore. That sounds OK to me. You're not completely kicking her out. Maybe you can pose it as, since she admitted she would be overwhelmed to do cwertain MOH duties like the shower,m you'd still love to have her be a BM. And your sisters would be more than happy to take on the extra duties.
Good luck.
Thank you , now to find the time to sit and tell her...its like every time we make plans ..she cancels , seriously. That was one of our arguments , i can't talk to her in person , because she always has something better to do. I get sooo mad at times, u would think she would put me first for a change , but nope. Maybe thats a little bridezilla like, but i can't help it. At this rate , i'm tempted to just txt her and tell her "your a bm now , not a moh. and thats that. See you at the dress rehearsal , must be there , no cancelling. " lol I know it may seem harsh , but in the last 2-3 months now i have been cancelled on for numerous reasons, even this wk , when we agreed we needed to have a serious talk ..she still couldn't find time to meet up with me...She didn't even tell me why . I am getting frustrated . Tell me am i being a b*tch ? Am i reacting the wrong way?
Don't kick her out; make it her idea that it would be best for her to not be the MOH. Saying 'yes' to the role means taking on some serious tasks. Give her an out to be just a bridesmaid.
How do i give a person, who can't even give me an hr or 2 of her time , that i just want her as a bridesmaid ? I think i just gonna give her a quick email and let her know . Is this unconventional ?
I won't send an email I would talk to her either in person or over the phone. Emails are cold when you are delivering news the other person doesn't want to hear. If she can't make time for a call, then you may have to resort to an email or text.
Good Luck
I'd be really careful about firing your MOH. I once heard someone say Weddings and Funerals bring out the worst in people and I think it's a sensitive time for you! You want things and people to be a certain way and you're going to be super sensitive if they're not.
I would try to talk to her about it more before you decide not to have her in the wedding. Explain how you feel (not the pissed part, just call it concern) and see if you guys can't mend bridges.
I think an email would be way to risky because she's not going to be able to hear how your saying it... so the interpretation could get screwy. I would give it some time and if she still wants to be in the wedding, I'd stick with your original decision of asking her. I think us brides get ourselves in trouble when we start second guessing our decisions... \
Good luck!
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Ok i am a fairly quiet person , on here ...but in person i'm not. and Right now , i want to blow up ....my MOH is my best friend of 14 yrs...i picked her rather than my 2 sisters (i saw her more, and i was close to her , plus i was married before and they were in that one)..anyways, 2 wks ago, after not seeing each other for 2+ months and not talkin for a wk..over comp. i brought up shower, pple were asking me and all, after alot of talking back and forth and such , she tells me she doesn't think she can handle doin the shower, then it was being in the wedding , and now she changed her mind and wants to be in the wedding ..but i'm still pissed ....Now 2 wks later ..and all i know is that i do want her in the wedding, but i don't think i want her as MOH , and she says she wants to be in it , but she hasn't even tried to fit me in her schedule to sort out what she can help me with and what she can't..I haven't asked her for any help , me and the mr are doing things by our selves..but i need to know that if we did need any help ..with anything ..will she be there ? I just don't know , lots of pple have told me to kick her butt out of wedding , but its the 14 yrs frienship i don't want gone.. What do you guys think ? Kick her out ? Keep her in ?