MOH Issue- how would you deal with this? Help please…

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

He sounds like a peach.  Did you get to meet him tonight when he came to sit at the bar?  It sounds like he’s isolating her, or at least trying to. He doesn’t really sound like a project, he sounds like real trouble.  Do you think yo ucan be honest with her before your wedding and she’ll show?  

Post # 4
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Jw1724: I’d be more concerned for your friend. He “hates everyone” and wants her 100% of the time? That’s unhealthy for her to be with someone like that.

Though perhaps she’s exagerating and just venting to you.

Anyway, just invite him, but let your MOH know it’s ok if he doesn’t come. It’s often not much fun being a date of a bridal party member anyway.

Post # 7
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Ugh, he sounds like a jerk. I don’t think these things ever turn out well though. I’ve been the person who told the friend her boyfriend was a loser (not in those words…) and she will always pick the guy. I would just be there for your friend and try to ignore the boyfriend as much as possible. Try to be normal which will hopefully show her what a loving relationship looks like. Isolation and refusing to see him will only push her into his arms.

Post # 9
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@HisIrishPrincess:  He sounds like a peach. – Sure does.

Why is she with a man like that? Ugh, anyway… I would just tell her outright that he does not have to come if he doesn;t want to, there will be no bad blood, but you would be extremely hurt if she chose not to come. She needs to tell you now wether or not our should expect her, him, both or neither.

Good luck OP.

Post # 10
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

their relationship is sending red flags up all over the place.  scary stuff. 

Post # 13
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Jw1724:  That’s tough but I would try to be the bigger person. I would give her some time to cool down and then try to go back to normal. If he is manipulating her it’s really important that she doesn’t cut out friends and family members who can help pull her out of it.

Post # 15
Member
689 posts
Busy bee

I smell some serious trouble brewing. I’d give her a few days to calm down then reach out to her. However, be aware tht this jerk is trying to manipulate her and apparently she’s letting him. I would hate for you to depend on this person and then have her not show up to your wedding as the MOH. You need to be clear that if you can’t count on her to be your MOH she needs to be honest w/ u about it.

Post # 16
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Jw1724:  Bugger 🙁 She sounds like a bit of a peach too… “I can guarantee she was probably acting the opposite when she was talking to him. As in, either complaining or something about having to plan things and take time off to be at the wedding etc.” – Your MOH, well any of your bridesmaids or friends, should not be talking about you or your wedding like that. I would let her calm down from this go, and try again. You need to be able to talk this through with her and if ou can’t you need to let her know it’s not okay with you.

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