MoH issue: what would you do?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

alai678:  try to speak with her once more. If this fails, write her a text saying you’re confused as to why she won’t talk with you anymore and that you’d like to discuss any issues with her. I’d include in that message that you don’t feel that your current relationship is a basis for her being MOH and the level of support and love that it comes with. 

If theres still nothing from her afterwards, tell her that you’re very sad about how things are going, you’re still hoping she’ll come (if that’s the case) but that her behavior makes it impossible for her to be in your wedding and that you’ve therefore decided not to have a MOH.  

Post # 3
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

Goodness your situation sounds like mines. My sister who was my MOH stopped talking to me and our entire family, At first i thought it was something i did. I mean we did fight, but made up after and things seemed to be good. But then she just disappeared. I have called, emailed, texted. This week i even mailed her a letter. NOTHING.

I think you should reach out ONE MORE TIME! But that’s IT!!! If your sister is showing you that she doesn’t want to be botherd, leave her be. She will eventually get over her issues or she wont.  It isn’t your fault.

 

Post # 6
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Depending on the circumstances (sometimes totally cutting contact is the only way to protect yourself from a truly damaging and abusive personality, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn’t do anything completely horrible to your sister! 😉 ) people who punish others with the silent treatment are usually super needy, dramatic, and jealous types. She’s continuing to give you the silent treatment because currently she is getting from it exactly what she wants: you and other family members worried about her, putting a lot of effort into contacting her, trying to figure out what happened, and in general generating drama with her at the center. If you keep giving her exactly what she wants, she will continue using the silent treatment as a way to get the drama and validation she’s looking for.

so on one hand, my advice to you wants to be: text/email her one last time and ask her to get in touch with you before so and so date when the final count is due to the vendor, or you will not be able to include her in the guest list.

However, she IS your sister. So here is what I would do myself if I were in your situation: you’ve already texted her and called her multiple times right? And asked her to get in touch with you to talk if she’s upset? If so, I would just stop contacting her completely. She has all the information she needs if she wants to talk to you about something she’s upset about. So just go on with everything you need to do and assume she is not coming to anything. HOWEVER, do reserve her a seat at your wedding. Yes you may end up out $100 or $200, but she is your sister and you I think will feel better if you know that you gave her literally every opportunity to come to your wedding.

Post # 8
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

alai678:  My sis is no longer my MOH, and while that is sad. It’s for the best. Don’t get me wrong I love her to pieces, but I refuse to have this special time in our lives ruined by her melodrama. My family understands why I am upset, they’ve all reached out to her and she doesn’t respond. At first I though she was hurt and I was worried. I went by her house and her huband was very clear that she didn’t want to talk to me or see me, or our mother. 

I can’t force her to talk to me, or to want to be a part of the wedding. So i have decided to leave her alone.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors