- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
My Maid/Matron of Honor was picked for many reasons including close friend, great organizational skills, very social, friendly,chipper and smart. Even though my wedding isn’t until sep 7 2012 I wanted to get a head start on things as I am doing Alot myself and trying to have a very unique non cookie cutter wedding. MOH was an English major and I asked her to look over our wedding website to make sure I didn’t have any grammatical errors and to make sure it was ‘ok’, I followed up with her a few times in the course of a 6 weeks time after initially asking….she was too busy, out of town and Never got-back to me other than to say it looks good and when I have time I will look at it She never mentioned it again.
I reached out to all my girls to try and do dress shopping early…January, because I wasn’t sure if my idea was going to look good on all of us I would be back to drawing board, also we are ordering from net bride so I wanted to allow for extra time. Everyone responded with their availability except her. She didn’t respond to texts, emails or calls. I felt like the girl who was getting dumped by a guy and didn’t know it! I finally sent an anxiety text and she called immediately 2 say work has been crazy busy and she is sorry and she promised to call later. We finally met in December I think, had breakfast and I asked her if she could make the dress shopping date…she said she didn’t have her planner and couldn’t say for sure..it was not genuine…it felt very evasive. Turns out, she yelled at me and saidI” I’ve been to a million weddings Lisa, I can get a dress 3 months out I think this is a little soon. And, went on to say I can’t make up my mind and she knows this first day won’t be the lastof dress shopping! I cried it was awful, we did not talk anymore about the wedding that day. As of today everyone has picked out their dress except her, everyone has offered help except her. I sent her many texts ( becuz she doesn’t pick up phone)regarding my anxiety and ordering these dresses by march 1st, no reply. But she will reply to a random non wedding text! We had plans on 3 separate occasions to meet and chat, when I confirmed all three times she said she was going to be out of town…sometimes she didn’t even apologize she just said thing like, not sure when I’ll be back …going to Springfield . She did seem happy in the beginning, but her actions prove otherwise. Clearly, something is going on right? Well, this past weekend via text of course I was asking her when we could meet, ever day I suggestedvdidn’t work, and she never countered with dates good for her, I told her I would take a few hours off work ( we have opposite schedules) and she said she didn’twant me to do that. Fed up, I sent a text that read, ” I know your really busy and I’m stressed with this dress thing and Idon’t want Maid/Matron of Honor to be a burden on you. I went on to put it it all on me and gave her an out, and she took it! I replied saying I would still love to have her in the wedding as Bridesmaid or Best Man with no responsibilities. Yikes bees, I can’t believe I did that :-(. Honestly though, this is a woman super concerned with etiquette, manners and it doesn’t fit that she would be avoiding her me. If a bride asked me to wear a rainbow taffeta floor length gown I would bite my tongue and do it! I am allowing my girls to wear any grey chiffon dress they like…
So, as I type this after she’s been let go, she is available to meet this Saturday, I still would like her in the wedding, I just want her to tell me, yes! I will order a dress by April 1st…is this an un realistic expectation/ demand? Is this too much to ask? do I come out and say, it would make me comfortable if you would purchase the dress by then? Why does it give me anxiety that she is not saying that? I guess it’s herlack of availability and communication.
Thanks for listening. I’ll keep you posted.