Post # 1
wow, i am having a dilemma. i have some soon to be somewhat wealthy relatives planning a bachelorette party in Vegas. They are fun folks and very generous. there is an itinerary planned including a broadway show. my moh doesn’t want to attend the show. she sent me an email that said, “i know you have a lot on your plate, but I’m not interested in going to the show.” wants to do something else, will “grin and bear it” if no one else is interested in doing something else, yada yada. Granted, i don’t think it would be something i would pick myself, but hey it’s a broadway show and I know the ladies I’m with will make it a good time. The whole trip will most likely be paid for. I think it’s looking a gift horse in the mouth and it totally frustrates me. She also has not been involved in planning my bridal shower with my sis, didn’t come to the dress shop when she lived 5 mins away (was asleep). I actually had to ask her to plan a local bachelorette party so ppl who couldn’t afford plane tix to Vegas could celebrate here. just really frustrated my best friend is not there like i thought she would be and when she is there i feel like she’s put out or not enjoying my happy time in life.
Thanks, I needed to vent and needed some advice. How do I tell her I think it’s rude to even ask?
Post # 3
I think you should explain the tickets have been purchased and everyone will be going. However, you also can’t force her to go, so you can say that if she doesn’t want to go you hope she’ll meet you for drinks afterward. Leave her a little tiny opening if she absolutely hates the idea of going so she feels a bit weird about it, but can still not go if it’s really a big deal.
As far as not helping – it depends on the circumstances. My MOH isn’t into parties and just had a baby, but she’s there when it counts for important things – I don’t expect her to plan or go to a bachelorette party (just right now because of the baby). If your friend is into parties and just isn’t pitching in for you I’d be disappointed that she’s not the friend you expected. Hopefully your other friends will pick up the slack and you will become closer to those who truly interested in your happiness in the future.
Post # 4
I would tell her if she doesnt want to come to the show, fine. But please don’t ask the other girls to do something else. The plans have been made and no one else seems to have a problem with them. I would be annoyed.
Post # 5
Also, for the dresses, she really stressed she wanted a long dress. ok, i said. And she’s already indicated that she’s not giving a speech. sure fine, I can accept that. i guess the show was kinda the last straw. thanks for the advice thus far guys.
Post # 6
She obviously have issues. Talk to her and see what the real story is. I see a little red eyed monster peeping out…Just ignore her and enjoy your party..Its amazing that when it comes to weddings we always see the real personalities of the people around us and who we think are friends. Sometimes the people we expect to be there for us or not the ones who step up….Just ignore her…
Post # 7
I think its kind of hard to remember when you are the bride that our weddings are not the only things friends & family have going on. Its not that she is less of a friend now its just she has a life too.
Post # 8
Ew sh’es rude. She should have just “grin and beared” it w/out saying nothing at al. yes, BM do have life’s outside of your wedding, but come on you really can’t put yourself aside for a few hours and attend a free broadway show?! I would be annoyed!
Post # 9
Smother her with kindness 😉 “I totally get not wanting to go to a show, we’ll have fun without you and you can meet us later!” – no need to plan around her. She can come or not.
Post # 10
Go easy on her. Tell her she doesn’t have to come for the show, & go on with your plans.
I am a bride-to-be now, after just being a MOH in Nov. To be honest, I freakin HATED it! I had other things to do, and it’s not that a friend or sisters wedding isn’t important, but it certainly wasn’t my first priority. I came along to some fittings, not all. Who cares if I wasn’t do anything else important. I just didn’t want to be at ANOTHER fitting. I also didn’t want to fork over money to help host parties, money for gifts & $200 for a dress I’ll never wear again! Now, with all of that fresh in my mind, I am being a good bride to be. My bridesmaids and MOH aren’t expected to do anything at all, just stand for me. Sure we are doing a bachelorette party and everything, but I am planning it & I am not making them spend more than $50 on their dresses.
As brides to be, we sometimes forget that even the closest people in your life aren’t as crazy about your wedding as you are. They don’t want to spend the cash, they don’t want to spend Saturday mornings at fittings & sometimes they don’t want to go out and act crazy with us for a bachelorette party. It’s stressful!
Don’t take it personally. I doubt she means anything by it.