MOH not holding bridal shower?

posted 1 month ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
5636 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

If no one offers to host one then you just won’t have one. 

Post # 3
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

If no one offers to host, you don’t have a shower. 

You can throw a luncheon if you want but you should never host your own shower. 

Post # 4
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

As previous bees said, it’s not okay to host a shower for yourself. 

If your mom is really persisting on the issue, explain the situation to her. Don’t ask her to host one straight-out, but leave the option open. 

Post # 5
44808 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is an etiquette faux pas to host any gift giving event for yourself, and that includes a shower.

If your bridal party is not up for it or cannot afford to host, it is becoming more acceptable for someone in the family- mom, or an aunt for example- to host either in their own name or on behalf of the bridal party, with their consent of course.


Post # 6
840 posts
Busy bee

Nope. You don’t throw gift- giving parties in your own honor.  Either someone offers to throw one or you just don’t get one.  Not everyone does get one.  

If all these people inquiring are so keen on it, they can offer to throw you one themselves.  Anyone  (except you) can throw one – it doesn’t have to be someone in your wedding party.

Post # 7
1777 posts
Buzzing bee

Are you for real? If nobody throws you a shower you don’t get a shower, and DON’T chase them up about it. “Really it should be about a month and a half…” blah blah no it shouldn’t. You don’t automatically get a bridal shower because you’re getting married. Your mum can throw one but even that is a fine line. What should you do? Nothing. If your biggest fear is looking like a bridezilla, then stop now because you’re heading in that direction quickly! 

Post # 8
108 posts
Blushing bee

Can your mom throw you a shower? Or another relative. If they’re asking about one happening, maybe they’d like to host?

Agreeing with PPs, you cannot throw your own shower.

Post # 9
2102 posts
Buzzing bee

Seems awkward that they would tell you about it but not plan it. But if your aunts and stuff are asking, I think it’s perfectly fine for them to throw one for you! 

ETA didn’t see that they hadn’t mentioned it. I’m sorry bee, I know it’s a bummer but I don’t think it’s ok to throw your own. Perhaps your aunts will? 

Post # 11
4248 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

sallysueinblue :  if no one offers then i guess you dont have one? You can’t host your own shower! If anyone continues asking then you just say “as far as I know no one is planning a shower, I guess I’m not having one”.. that leaves the ball in the court of the asker.. be it an aunt or a cousin or someone… to either throw you one or ask you bridal party about it…

Post # 12
292 posts
Helper bee

Sorry – you can’t throw yourself a shower and you can’t ask somebody to do it for you. Maybe your mother or aunt will step up?

Post # 13
44808 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

sallysueinblue :  When you say your Mom can’t afford to host a shower, what did you have in mind? Showers do not need to be catered events in a venue. Having a few women in your home (her home, your home, your aunt’s home), need not be expensive- tea, punch, some light refreshments like cookies, squares etc is more than enough.

You are lucky to be the first in your crowd to get married. Your shower will not be compared to anyone else’s. You also wouldn’t be the first bride to help out with the cost of a shower, although it is important to step back and not be hosting.

Post # 14
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Pay for it but have your MOH name on invitation?  Lol. Idk. Maybe they are planning a surprise shower?

Post # 15
35 posts

sallysueinblue :  Wasn’t going to respond until I saw how you got attacked on this thread. I really cannot believe how mean people are being to you for asking a valid and legitimate question, especially given how entitled and bratty I’ve seen other people be on this website.

I don’t think it’s good manners to host one for yourself, but it’s also bad manners for your bridal party to not be throwing you one – come on!! The showers I have been to have not just been about gifts, they have been a chance for the women invited to the wedding to have some time with the bride and other female guests, sometimes get to know each other, get excited about the wedding, have pre-wedding festivities. And yes I do think brides deserve that, so no, you are not in the wrong. I would be rather sad if I was in your shoes. And if I was in your shoes, given the relationship I have with my mom, I would probably have vented to her about this by now and she would have offered to throw one/I would have asked her to host and I pay for/plan it. Depending on how close you are with your mom, I don’t think that’s unreasonable at all, especially if people are asking about it.

Good luck bee!!

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