- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Hi guys…I wanted to ask for your opinion…
so…i have a friend, more like a frenemy, whom I know from as far as I can remember, and she is supposed to be my made of honor.
We weren’t that close until 6 years ago, although we played together with barbies when kids.. and the friendship was great until I got dumped by my ex 3 years ago. She was always our third wheel, hanging out with us, or me alone…When that relationship ended I was devastated and she was there for me constantly (later I figured it out…she was there because I was sad, I think she was enjoying that :/ )
BUT..when I met the guy of my dreams, she suddenly started acting really weird. Mostly she was blaming me for not having enough time for her, but I’m not one of those girls that meet a guy and never again have time for their friends. We still meet up at least 3 times a week…I think I spoiled her with my former relationship where she would just call and show up on me and my ex. My fiancée doesn’t like her very much and he wishes we spend our time on our own… and who could blame him.
She has become very distant and while talking to her, she’s acting like a drama queen, if I have problems (health, money, even death in family) she has the exactly same problems but bigger…or the opposite, if I’m happy she is happier than me (if that’s the case she rubs it in my face over and over again). That can become really annoying and I’m ashamed to say I started to play her game. I acted with her like she acts with me, but it only made things worse.
Her boyfriend dumped her, that’s where the problem really started…and all the little stuff she did that bothered me escalated. It was as if I became her new boyfriend. Or like she became more jealous of me. I tried talking to her, but I always end up feeling like sh**. She doesn’t even listen to what I have to say, she immediately starts lining up why I’m the bad friend and not her. For example: I didn’t text her back for two days. (It wasn’t on purpose, I was busy and simply forgot because it wasn’t important and I was away for the summer)…so she decided to ignore my calls and texts on mobile and facebook for the rest of the summer claiming she’s really busy). Even when were supposed to be in a good friend place she rarely answers her phone or texts back, it always takes her a couple of hours, even though I see her active on fb. It’s like: I’ll answer you when I feel like it! ( always with some stupid see trough excuse for not answering)
When we meet it’s always when she says so…and she gets angry if I make another appointment because I decided not to wait for her to answer.
4 years ago we made some sort of a pact to make each other their maid of honor. I got engaged a year and a half ago -the next day she manipulated me into saying that she will be my Maid/Matron of Honor. She already hinted that maybe I won’t be her Maid/Matron of Honor. She’s making me turn into her, I’ never happy for her anymore like I was, nor am I sad when she’s sad. It’s toxic and I don’t like it a bit. I’m not that kind of a person. I wish things could be like 4 years ago. I have a hard time letting her go as a friend but I don’t want my Maid/Matron of Honor to be a girl that wishes my marriage to end up in divorce. Now I don’t know what to do…the wedding is in 9 months. How should I approach this?
any advice? Thank you J