(Closed) MOH Problems (A Long, crazy, off-the-wall story…)

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well, first of all, your friend cheated on her boyfriend.  Does she know that you know?  I would  attack this from that angle: “Veronica, you and Betty hooked up.  That means you cheated on Archie.  I’m sorry, but I think he needs to know.”

It’s funny, because I was thinking, “I wonder if Veronica and Betty like like each other,” before you mentioned that. So maybe your friend is dealing with that — questioning her sexuality — and has a crush on this girl, which explains why she doesn’t want to just let her go.  It’s more than just a friendship, you know?

 

 

Post # 5
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

May be she is in love with this girl and confused about the whole thing. This might just need to burn its course. Your group of friends should be able to find its way back together if you all work as a team. Take the “other” girl out of equation for now. She can’t stay around forever if nobody shows up when she is around.

Post # 7
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would have told my FI to tell his best friend.  First, you’re putting your FI and his bestman’s LIFE LONG friendship on the line by telling your FI and telling him not to tel his friend.  If his friend ever found out, how angry do you think he’d be at your FI for not telling him??? 

Honestly, you found out from another source.  Your MOH didn’t come to you and tell you something in confidence.  So, I don’t know why you don’t tell your FI to tell his best man.  And then deny that it came from you til the day you die.  Just say, “I found out from so-and-so, so obviously OTHER people are talking about it.  Why don’t you ask your friend who else SHE told???” 

Your MOH doesn’t sound like the best of friends right now.  She’s bringing around a girl that everyone hates and when she’s told to stop bringing her around, she gets angry instead.  She needs to grow up and stop dragging this friend along or else she really is just like her and they both need to be cut out of the group. 

Just my thoughts. 

Post # 8
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I bet your maid of honor is confused, and you might want to ask her if she wants to talk about it.  Without confronting her.  How old is she?  If she has gone this long without recognizing that she likes other women (which is totally possible) then she might be freaking out a bit…it’s a big thing to realize.  It doesn’t mean she’s gay, or bi even, but just that she’s realizing something about herself she didn’t know before.  Since anything but heterosexuality is deplored in our society, you can see why she might be freaking out…

 

 

Post # 10
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Have you encouraged her to tell her BF about her hooking up with this girl. What was her respsonse? I would definately tell her that others in the group are uncomfortable knowing what happened betweent the two of them and being around all of them (MOHMOH BF, and friend) without her boyfriend knowing the truth.

Honestly after that email you sent, I think things with this friend will blowup. At this point depending on her reply, I would talk to her about everything and let her know from here on out if you invite her to things, that does not include an invitation to her friend, especially until her BF knows the truth. If she chooses to bring the friend to group things that others have planned, then I would decline the invitation or decide if you can suck it up for the night.

Post # 12
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@KendraLeigh:  Let me know what she says.

I think even if it causes a lot of drama, sometimes you have to do what is the RIGHT thing to do and in this case it would be to allow your FI to tell his best friend. 

Post # 14
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@KendraLeigh:  relax.. everything has a way of working itself out in the end and I really don’t think this will ruin your wedding or entire bridal party.  hopefully now she’ll feel the need to confront her bf about it before your FI does and hopefully she’ll stop bringing this new friend around..

Post # 15
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@peachacid:  You. I love. The references. Mwah!

OP, I’m sorry that you are going through this. I think you’ve gotten some good advice from PPs and its good that you are addressing all of this drama now rather than let it spill over into your wedding planning. Let us know how she takes it!

Post # 16
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think if your MOH is putting this other girl, that is being toxic to everyone in your circle, above her respect for everyone else then you may want to start planning outtings with your other friends and not include MOH either…she may realize exactly how you guys feel and how strongly you feel that way.

I also think that since she did not tell you anything in confidence that your FI should tell his life-long friend what he knows. That is just your FI being the friend he should be to his best man!!

Good luck with this! And just a stray thought…you may want to ensure your MOH knows that the other girl is not invited to your wedding!! (since MOH has a habit of bringing her even though she isn’t invited)

The topic ‘MOH Problems (A Long, crazy, off-the-wall story…)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors