Post # 1
I asked my best friend of over 10 years to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I thought she expected me to ask and I thought that she would be very excited.
Well it is a year until mywedding and I need a lot of help, I think any bride can agree. I am not getting any help from my parents or family bc they are busy with their own lifes. Actually I alwaysed considered my BFF my family, she is more like a sister.
She did go to try on dresses with me once but when I talk to her about wedding stuff she always seems disinterested and changes the subject. Then one conversations I told her the location and she asked me the date. I said sometime in August. She said that she will not be there then. She said she starts teaching in August. My wedding is on a Saturday.
I dont know what the deal is bc she was the Maid/Matron of Honor in our friends wedding and planned everything including paying for part of it. I am not asking her to pay for anything except her dress which is about $50.
I suspect that she might be jealous bc that is her personality and I know she always wanted to get married first but I am not sure what she is thinking.
So I thought I wouls ask one of my other Bridesmaid or Best Man to get the LD of what is going on with her. Is this a good idea or should i talk to her myself. What should I say.
Post # 3
Wow…she’s not even going to show up? That’s a bit crazy. It kind of sounds like you need a new Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 4
It may be time for you to find a new Maid/Matron of Honor. My sister is getting married on 9/18 and her best friend is just not into weddings. My sister still made her a Bridesmaid or Best Man and that seems to be working out. She bought her dress and she contributed to the bridal shower and will be there at the wedding. That is the extent of her involvement. The BMs have been involved as much or as little as they want to be and I think that’s OK.
If you have specific expectations of your BFF, have a sit down conversation with her and let her know what they are. Give her the option to back out if she doesn’t think that she can handle them. Do stress that your day wouldn’t be the same without her there…and she would be welcomed as a guest if she chooses not to be in the bridal party.
Post # 5
Ugh that stinks…yeah see if another Bridesmaid or Best Man can see what is up w/ her. That’s what I would do I guess.
Post # 6
Ouch, yeah that’s not right. It sounds as if something else is going on there. IF it’s just jealousy, then you need to move on, that’s not a real friend, and you need a better Maid/Matron of Honor than that!!! She should suck up her own issues and be happy for you. I think it’s a good idea to get your friend to talk to her because you might not get the real story if u confront her yourself.
Post # 7
Thanks for all the wonderful advice. I will definetly have a talk with her. I just have to think carefully about what to say.