MOH probz… Who to choose? Sort of long.

posted 3 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Who should I choose as my MOH?
    BFF : (25 votes)
    76 %
    Brother's Girlfriend : (0 votes)
    Step-Sister : (1 votes)
    3 %
    None of the above : (7 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 3
    830 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @EmieBee4:  I chose none of the above – you’ve provided reasons why each person would be good to have as your Maid of Honour, but then you’ve also provided reasons why they wouldn’t be. I think, to minimise any potential drama further down the track, that you shouldn’t choose any of them i.e. either choose someone else altogether, or, if there isn’t anyone you can think of, maybe don’t have one at all, but of course still find a way to include these three people in your wedding somehow (whether that be as bridesmaids, or have them do a special reading at your ceremony). Good luck and I hope it all works out!

    Post # 4
    3217 posts
    Sugar bee

    @EmieBee4:  BFF. though based on your post having your party in matching outfits (the only strike against BFF) is more important to you then relatioships. 

    The other 2 you aren’t close with. 


    Pick your BFF and let her wear something she’s comfortable with. 

    Post # 5
    7630 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I would choose your BFF. It seems kind of silly to chose clothing over friendship in my opinion. 

    On the flip side you could just have 3 BMs and no MOH.

    Post # 6
    351 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I would have three bridesmaids, no MOH. 

    Post # 7
    2534 posts
    Sugar bee

    I would go with the BFF regardless of the clothing issue.

    Post # 8
    615 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’ve seen MOH gets special dresses to distinguish them so if she wants to wear something else and the rest of the bridesmaids can coordinate that would be fine!

    Also siblings/brothers of yours traditionally go on the side of the groom even though they’re your family, if she wants to wear a suit and match with groomsmen let her do this!

    Post # 9
    3596 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I had none. However the ladies in my bridal party are grown up and mature so I wasn’t worried about it. Although I would say one person did step up and take on that role.  Out of your list I would pick best friend or no one.


    Post # 10
    3845 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’d pick the BFF hands down.  You want someone who will be supportive of you and it sounds like she is by far the best choice.  Discuss with her what style of outfit she would like to wear/feel comfortable in – perhaps there will be a few options and you can both agree on something.  

    Post # 11
    1745 posts
    Bumble bee

    BFF. I’m actually kind of floored that you are excluding someone because of clothing. If I was your friend I would be heartbroken that who I was made me not good enough to be standing with you.

    Post # 12
    3243 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 1997

    If your BFF is trans (female to male?), would he be offended being asked to be a bridemaid at all? Maybe it would be more appropriate to have him be a groomsman? Otherwise, if you are concerned about keeping him on your “side”, have him be your man of honor. A best friend is a best friend, and gender shouldn’t get in the way of that, IMO.

    Post # 13
    2286 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @echomomm:  I don’t think it is appropriate for a bride or groom to designate a party member for the other’s “side” e.g. I don’t think the bride gets to invite someone to be a groomsmen, but she could certainly have a “man of honor” or whatever term her BFF prefers on her side. I do agree that I would choose the BFF to be your MOH because (s)he(?) – sorry I’m unclear on which way they are trans or what their chosen gender is – would be the most reliable and is your BEST FRIEND. I can’t imagine any circumstance in which I would not want my best friend standing with me at my wedding. Even if she wanted to wear jeans. 

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