My former best friend of almost 6 years and MOH was bitten by my fiance's dog when she came out for my Bridal Shower 6 weeks before my wedding. The dog and I both had our backs to her and she came out into the hallway and called out my name, which startled him, and he went after her. I promptly took her to the Emergency Room and her 2 bites required 2 stitches on one, and 1 stitch on the other. I did my very best to take care of all her needs for the remaining 4 days she was here. We offered to pay for all of her medical bills, and my fiance even asked her what he can give her to compensate her for pain and suffering. She declined and said she was not litigious and didn't blame either of us (nor the dog) for the bite. I called and texted her in the days to follow to make sure she was doing okay, and there didn't seem to be a problem.
However, on the second week of returning home, her treatment of me (via text) became cold and distant. My fiance reached out to her to make sure she was doing okay and when he got the notion that she didn't want to be in the wedding anymore, urged her to call me to advise me and not wait until the last minute to do so. She pulled out of my wedding 4 weeks before the actual date and indicated to me that she was also not going to attend the wedding citing that "she would not be ready." I understood her position and told her it was okay and reminded her to send us all of her medical bills relating to the dog bite... even recommending that she seek therapy to deal with the trauma she endured. We did not for one moment downplay her injuries and I did not want my friendship with her to suffer. We felt very badly for what happened and wanted to make sure she understood we were there for her and were prepared to compensate her for pain and suffering. When we ended the call, we were still friends and there was no animosity whatsoever -- or so I thought. I did not ask her for the MOH dress at that time (I paid for it), because I felt it would be in poor taste on my part considering what had transpired. But, I did expect her to return the dress eventually -- it still had its tags and I know she hadn't altered the dress at all.
Two weeks after my wedding took place, we came home to find a letter from her lawyer suing my new husband for "personal injury." It wasn't the lawsuit that upset me, but the manner in which she went about it. I felt that she could've/should've called, text or emailed me (or him) to let us know that she would feel more comfortable bringing in legal counsel. We were already prepared to compensate her. Again, we are not downplaying her injuries, but the bites were not severe enough to justify bringing a lawyer into the picture. She got greedy and well, that story is a hurtful story in itself.
My question is, shouldn't she have returned the MOH dress by now? I bought the dress for her not as a gift, but to wear as my MOH. She did not fulfill that role and I feel the dress is rightfully mine. Before you ask, the dress can be worn for a Christmas party of NYE party. The dress would fit my daughter and I would love to be able to give it to her. Thank you for taking the time to reply.
@missy92264: Did you ever talk to her about giving the dress back?
wow- you never really know people, right?
i can see why you would want the dress back, but i wouldn't hold my breath. have you asked her for it yet? maybe when you get a lawyer that could be something included in some sort of settlement? $200 less to cover the cost of the dress? i have no idea. but, WOW. i'm so sorry :(
In my opinion, she's acting bullcrappy. I would never sue a friend if her dog bit me (actually one of them has) especially if the friend offered to pay for the medical bills and everything! As for the dress, it probably wouldnt cross my mind to return the dress if it was me, so maybe she's also ditzy and needs to be reminded of it.
Also, one of my dogs names is Judas, so the title of the thread amused me.
This sounds awful! :( I agree with PP that you can try to address the MoH dress during the legal settlement because I don't think you'd be able to have a civil conversation about it now that she's suing you.
What a b*tch... That's all I have to say about it. Good luck, OP. I'd hate to be in your position.
@jpalm13: Took the words out of my mouth. What a freakin B... I could never do that to my friend.
@missy92264: Look, I'm sorry. I'm sure you and your dog are good people. I'm sure that you have the best intentions and you mean well and I can see why you'd feel hurt.
I know how many animal lovers are here, so I'm prepaired to get blasted. Here goes
If a dog bit me severve enough that I needed sticches, I'd report it. That's my right to. What if that was a child?
Unless it was family, I'd most likley do the same thing. It's nothing personal-she wants to make sure she's treated fairly. I'm not saying you were going to try and trick her out of anything. But she has a right to make sure she's protected.
As for the dress, maybe you should ask some lawyer bees-but I think you need to go through her lawyer to ask her for stuff. I'm not too sure
Ask for the dress back. The friendship is ruined anyway at this point.
Seriously, what a B. If the dog bite was serious, I would understand possibly, but to ruin a friendship over 3 stitches? Not ok.
Just send her an email - don't say anything about the letter you received, but write something along the lines of, "Hey, hope all is well on your end. I'm writing you because the dress I purchased was for you to stand by my side as my MOH on my wedding day. Unfortunately, that didn't happen and so I'd like the dress back so I can give it to my daughter instead. You can mail it to me (my address, should you not remember it is 123 Lovely Lane, etc.). Please let me know when you've dropped it in the mail. I'm hoping to get it this week. Thanks, Missy."
This is not legal advice.
Edited: I can't provide you with any legal advice so I won't address that. Howeve, I agree with other posters that biting is not acceptable dog behavior, no matter how minor the injury. What are you and FI doing about his dog to make sure this never happens again?
I also agree that your former MOH is being a B by suing you. You've already agreed to pay off all of her medical bills and then some. If she wanted more money, she could have discussed this with you and your FI. Instead, she's made the process more expensive and contentious than it needed to be.
@MissFireFlower: If the dog was reported, it would most likely be put to sleep. You would seriously ruin a friendship and kill a life because of 3 stitches? I've gotten more stitches than that from falling on a stepping stone. Should I sue whoever made the stepping stone?
And btw, I'm not trying to say that by it only causing 3 stitches its okay to happen, its definitely not. But I think suing and reporting the dog is over kill. Literally.
@MissFireFlower: I just don't see why she had to be such a bitch about it. She could have said something to them about the fact that she would have report or she'd feel more comfortable talking to a lawyer. I also don't understand why she'd go through a lawyer if she hadn't even tried to get her friends to pay her medical bills. When she goes to court, she won't get anything more than her medical expenses anyway.
W..T..F! She is suing you over 2 stiches? People are so fucked in the head these days. Apparently she didn't value your friendship so tell her you want the dress back and move on, she's not even worth your time. Sorry.
to the person above that said "if a dog bit me bad enough that i needed 3 stitches" as an ER nurse, i'd say that 2 bites requiring 3 stitches total indicates that they prob weren't that bad, unless they stitch differently in adults verses pediatrics.
regardless,i think it's crappy what she's doing, especially if you alreadfy paid her bills. def ask for the dress back, but idk if she'll be reasonable about it
Im wondering if her insurance company pushed her to sue? When she was in the er, she had to tell the people what happened, which got reported to her insurance company?
You need to get a lawyer and ask for the dress through the lawyers. I don't know if asking her directly is appropriate.
as a side note...
I love dogs, I grew up with dogs ...but being startled by someone who was already in the house and attacking them is not ok and not normal dog behavior. I'm not saying your friend should sue you over it but its not ok.
This lawsuit would be covered under your homeowners insurance. Have you contacted them? This happened to a friend of mine and she had no health insurance so she sued to get the couple to pay her medical bills due to a slip and fall (same thing as a dog bite).
@MrsMeNow: I have not talked to her since August 8th. I left the ball in her court and wanted to give her space to deal with her injuries, physically and mentally. I told her to call me when she was ready and ended the phone call with, "I love you and I will miss you."
I did not receive any communication from her congratulating me on my wedding, no birthday wishes, nothing. Just a letter from her lawyer suing my new husband. To give her credit, at least she waited until after my wedding took place. I just wished she would've given us a "heads up." We were prepared to compensate her generously for her pain and suffering.
What kind of dog was this? If it was an unprovoked attack, she had every right to report it. A child or baby could be severely injured. I'm concerned too because this happened in your own home- most dog bites occur outside when a dog is protecting his owner or property. The dog should have known she was a friend because you allowed her inside.
@allyfally: I filled out the proper paperwork at the hospital and did not lie about the incident... and, the dog was reported. Animal Control contacted us a couple of weeks later asking for proof of shots and license. Nothing else came out of it.
If she would have reported it, you would have heard from the local authorities such as animal control, police, etc. My mom's small dog has bitten more than one neighbor and the authorities come.
I get that anyone bitten by a dog should be taken care of, but this sounds like a money grab since the friend skipped the authorities and went straight for a lawyer.
OP - this type of situation is generally handled by homeowners insurance/renters insurance. You might find coverage impossible to get afterwards if it does go through your policy and you want to keep the dog but it could save you from a serious lawsuit.
For your sake I would document every text and conversation you've had where both you and your FI offered to pay for anything medical related including the therapy. I would also document what you are doing to train your dog not to bite people.
I also think you need to think long and hard about what to do with your dog. I understand you all love this animal but a dog who has bitten once will likely bite again and next time the person bit may not be so lucky.
Has the dog ever bitten anyone before?
Also, what is the breed of the dog? Not every breed is covered by homeowners..
Again, not legal advice (although, it was all questions and not really any advice lol)
O_o what a horrible situation!!! It sounds like you did everything right so hopefully nothing will come from the lawsuit. Good look OP ! Keep us posted, and for therecord you sound amazing and I would be greatful to have a caring Friend like you!!! Her loss.
This is awful, I hope the dog isn't going to be put down because of this. Why did she decide to sue instead of asking you for the money? You said you would pay the medical costs etc... I don't understand these type of people.
And I would not ask for the dress back, what if she doesn't have it anymore?
She's an idiot. You offered to pay her medical bills. She hired a lawyer, a lawyer who will make his/her money off her recovery. So it's clear that she is anticipating getting more money than just medical bills, she is anticipating a recovery for pain and suffering.
Has the lawsuit been filed? How much more than the bills is she asking for?
I hate to say it, but you need to get a lawyer.
You also should not contact her any further (including about the dress) about ANYTHING. And you won't really be able to ask her for the dress back in relation to the lawsuit, since they have nothing to do with one another.
Agreed with PP's who said you should find and print every email/text you have sent her relating to the matter.
Most states allow for one bite, but you're on notice that if it happens again there will likely be consequences. I think you acted appropriately and with compassion.
It seems that you are more upset about the relationship than the lawsuit. I would say move on from the relationship- there is nothing salvagable there. This will be covered by home owners (though, I would be curious as to how much $$ she is seeking. It may be better to pay out of pocket than to involve insurance companies, which could cause your rates to rise.)
I agree though, this seems like an extreme reaction from your dog. If my dog noticed a familiar face in the house, even if startled, he would react with joy not aggression.
If she's brought lawyers into it, you definitely should not contact her at all, or respond to any direct contact that she initiates. You never know what kinds of statements could be construed as an admission, or something that might hurt you later! Consult an attorney and let him or her decide what's the best course of action with regards to the dress.
PS: Your friend sounds like a real jerk.
I've got no idea why she wouldn't give you a head's up on this, unless she tried to get her insurance company to pay her medical bills and they were the ones that brought in the lawyers. Some lawyers will make you agree to not talking about the case before they bring you on as a client. So my only guess is that the lawyers got involved and things just went from there.
Before worrying about lawsuits or dresses, I'd call (not email, not text) her, or even better visit her in person, and let her know that the lawsuit surprised you, and you're planning to hand it off to your homeowner's insurance (this is, after all, what insurance is there for), but if she'd like to talk through things before that happens, you're willing to listen.
Thank you all for your helpful advice.
He is a rescue pit and she is the 2nd person he's bitten. It's truly an unfortunate situation, and I can only gather that the reason he went after her is because he felt she was a threat to me when she came out into the hallway (I was on the floor with my back to the hallway). Even she was dumbfounded, as 1/2 an hour before that, she was playing and handfeeding him. I really do believe he felt she was a threat to me at that moment.
AGAIN, I am not downplaying her injuries. I just feel she should've told us she was hiring a lawyer and not blindside us. We would've understood. She is entitled to compensation outside of her medical bills (BTW, I did pay for the Emergency Room copay of $200, plus Urgent Care, and all of her meds and gauzes, etc. while she was here... in addition to restaurant tabs). She was one of my best friends... I asked her to be my MOH, for heaven's sake. Money was not going to break our friendship, had she approached this in an honorable fashion.
@MissFireFlower: I agree.
OP, I'm sorry this happened, but your dog bite her, and that bite required medical attention. She is fully in her right to seek legal advice, and most laywers would suggest going to proper route with something like this since it can end up being very difficult to try to separate the friendship from the situation.
Also your dog biting her simply by her calling out your name from down the hall while your back was too her isn't common behaviour. Most animals don't get startled that easily.
Animal bites can later on cause a number of issues, from infections to phobias and more. I also think she chose not to come right out and say she was going with legal advice on this matter, specifically to prevent you from trying to talk her out of it, and to prevent any ill treatment towards her.
I agree that this is a sad situation all around. If I were you I'd be more worried about the dog hurting someone else and take steps to make sure that doesn't happen. Your MOH might be having some serious emotional problems from this. A dog bite can be traumatizing. If I were you I'd just let this play out, handle it with the lawyers, and possibly in the future you can be friends again.
On a side note, I never knew stuff like dog bites could be covered under homeowner's insurance!
@VAwife: Trying to go the 'friendly' route has a tendency to cause extra stress and strain. Waiting too long to seek legal advice could have prevented her from recieving even medical bill compensation. If she had waited and then when problems arose at a later date, it would work against her.
@drummerbride: exactly.
I've been bitten before. And it's terrifiying. I can't get too close to dogs now. When large dogs come near me I get paralized with fear. The owners of the dog who bit me were people I knew and they didn't handle it well. The whole experence was awful.
Like I said, I love dogs. They are cute, and smart and to some people they are their children.
But laws are laws. The dog that bit me did NOT get put down, but their is a record of it now. If-heaven forbid- the dog got more violent, authorities would have all the information on the dogs past and can make a educated choice.
If you've never been biten by a dog before and had it cause you great emotional distress-don't minimize it. I've tripped on stepping stones before and I don't live in fear of them. It's completely different
@babymakes3 It is covered by homeowners insurance, but pit bulls would not be covered. If you have a dog on the restricted breeds you can't be covered.
OP I'm sorry you're in this situation- it's very unfortunate all around!!! For you and your friendship as well as for the dog.
@missy92264: Unfortunately, pits more often than not are NOT covered by homeowners insurance.
Also, I think everyone should realize that the OP is saying that she has no problem with the fact that her friend sought legal advice or hired a lawyer, just that she was blind sided by it and would have appreciated some advance notice.
Sorry that you've lost your friend over something like this. Hire a lawyer and hope for the best. *hug*
@drummerbride: big shocker there. she said they already paid her medical bills, so how would that have prevented her from receiving the medical bill compensation?
I'm really sorry your ex MOH did that. I can't beleive she ended up suing after you had offered to pay for medical expenses. Now, had you not offered anything for that I could much better justify her getting legal help, but really?
Now, I have no advice on the dress, I simply wanted to say I'm sorry about the situation and hopefully things don't spiral too much further out of hand.
ETA: I've been attacked by a dog three times. I know what thats like and how terrifying it is. I'm glad you didn't downplay the situation for your friend.
OP - you could potentially get the dress back as she got the dress for promising to stand up in your wedding; since she didn't fulfill her end of the bargain, you can get your "payment" back. i'm assuming you have proof of purchase and could *probably* swing it (i don't know your laws so not sure), but it might end up costing you more than the dress. however a letter of intent might be enough to spur her to action, so it might be worth your while. consult a lawyer :)
other bees - the only time I would ever seek legal aid in this situation would be if it was a financial hardship to cope with the bite. since OP offered to cover it anyway, i don't know what she expects. and 1/2 stitches is nothing. once you're at the ER, they'll pull out all the stops, but for that number, steri-strips would have sufficed.
if it's the dog's second bite, if she reports it it may be put down, which makes me sad, but it is her right, and one i don't disagree with, although i personally wouldn't have exercised it. hope it goes well for you OP!
@BuffaloDots: I have a pit and he's covered by my homeowners insurance. Statefarm and Farmer's insurance do not breed discriminate. I think where the OP will have trouble is that her dog is a known biter as this is the 2nd offense. If she runs through her insurance, her insurance might deny her assuming she didn't disclose the first bite. The insurance company wouldn't extend coverage in the first place if there is a known issue with a dog biting.
The insurance will likely tell her she has to get rid of the dog in order for them not to drop her. No insurance company would keep on an insured with such a liability.
OP - I'm just sorry because this is just a crappy situation for all involved.
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