Weddingbee boards

My sister is going to be my MOH. She is older than me but is not married. Would she technically be considered my Matron of honor just because she is older than me or would she still be my maid of honor because she is not married?

Also, if possible I'd like to keep our wedding party small, just my sister or if my FH insists his sister also. Neither my sister nor his sister are by any means well to do, and they live in different states. Neither of them would be able to throw me any type of party and I also don't want them to have to pay a fortune for dresses. In a case such as this, who would be throwing the parties, not that I'm being selfish, I really could care less if I have a shower, my FH and I have pretty much everything we need, and I'm not a huge drinker either, so a bachelorette party isn't completely necessary either. 

Also, about the ladies dresses. If I have both of them stand up, I want my sister to be noted as the MOH. How do i distinguish her from my FH's sister to people who may not know other than where they stand during the wedding? Also, this is *hopefully* going to be an outdoors wedding in the late summer/early fall, any dress ideas would help too! I have no idea what I'm wearing so this is pretty open for opinion, but I would like to keep the colors in the blue family!

Thanks in advance for the help!

Are you having programs?  That's another way to say who's who.  Also,  my opinion is that the bride's sister is important by virtue of her being the sister.  *Everyone* will figure that out at your wedding and go congratulate her separately...so I wouldn't worry about whether people know her title.  to this day my sister (married 10 years) regrets not making me her co-MOH...but seriously, I don't care.  Everyone knew I was "special" and treated me accordingly.

As for parties I think there are a lot of options.  My mom's friends are throwing me a shower.  My sister (matron of honor) and godmother hosted a "bridal tea" jointly.  My B'ette party was nominally planned by my BF"F" (sorry, can you tell I'm having issues with her?), but really my other BM did more of the work.  I think it's not a big deal for pretty much anyone who's close to you to host these things.  I have learned, on these boards, that it's inappropriate for mothers to host showers, but I think that rule often gets broken.  Or the mother pays, but it's "hosted" by someone else.

I do think, though, that it's nice to have some kind of get together in celebration of your wedding.  It has to be neither big or expensive.  You could just ask everyone if they want to go out for pizza...everyone could split it even.  It's just nice to have the people you care about get together in celebration.  Except for flights, my b'ette party cost my BM's the split cost of my dinner and a couple of drinks.  We stayed at a friend's house and everything else we did was free. I would happily have paid my share of dinner also...