MOH/ sister drama. Help…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Who would you chose?
    Sister- she may be a brat, but she's your sister. : (6 votes)
    20 %
    Cousin- She's supportive, and she's family. : (24 votes)
    80 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1944 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I had a similar situation – My sister and I were never close, but I had to have her as my MOH.  It would have caused a huge stir in my family if that weren’t the case.  Unfortunately I say suck it up and have your sis be your MOH, because she will probably never let you live it down if you don’t pick her.  I say have two MOHs – your sister and your cousin.  Or have a ‘maid’ of honor and a ‘matron’ of honor if your cousin is married.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    5932 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @Katie918:  You have to follow your bliss lady.  If your cousin is where its at for you, make her the MOH….honestly, I don’t think your sister will care, at all. 

    She kind of sounds like one of those relationship chameleons…you know, they instantly become engrossed in the lifestyle and friends of their signifigant other and shed whatever and whoever were in their lives before.

    Fighting with her to get support and attention when she’s so obviously incapable of that is only going to frustrate and upset you, go with what works for you, she and Mr. Wonderful can come as guests or whatever.

    Post # 6
    Member
    534 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I’d ask your cousin.

    It sounds like your sister is going through a bratty period in her life at the moment, which happens.  And it’s very likely that in the future, when she’s through the bratty period, you’ll be close again.  But you aren’t close right now.  Can you imagine her stomping her feet and whining through your whole wedding planning process?  Guaranteed she’s going to hate the venue, the dress, the flowers, the food, etc.  She has the power to make wedding planning a living hell, if you let her.

    You don’t need drama on your wedding day.  Ask your reliable cousin to be MOH.  

    Post # 8
    Member
    5932 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @Katie918:  Well….is your cousin married?  Cause you can have a Matron and a Maid of Honor….or rock two Maids of Honor if it cuts the drama….just be sure whatever you’re doing, is because YOU want it…not to make someone else happy. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    326 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m not having a maid of honor at all. I have several very close friends that I know if I chose one of them, the others would feel hurt. I don’t have a friend with the label “best friend.” They are all my best friends and I couldn’t imagine having to choose just one. So I’m having nine bridesmaids if they can all do it, and no MOH. Maybe this is an option for you?

    Post # 11
    Member
    1470 posts
    Bumble bee

    I vote cousin. If there’s drama now before the thick of wedding planning and festivities…what do you think she’ll do when it comes time? She isn’t comfortable with the attention you’re getting already, as MOH will she step up and shower you with the attention and support a MOH is supposed to give? From the way it sounds, your cousin would do a better job. And being a MOH does involve work (planning, listening, supporting, even financial obligations too) so you don’t want someone who’s heart isn’t in the right place.

    Post # 13
    Member
    435 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    The maid of honor is supposed to support you. Go with the supportive cousin.

    Post # 14
    Member
    326 posts
    Helper bee

    @Katie918:  I’d choose your cousin. She sounds like a much more supportive stable person at the time being. You’re going to have enough drama without a demeaning MOH. Hope everything works out for you! 🙁 So sorry you’re in this situation. 🙁 And, if you choose your cousin as your MOH then your sister throws a fit about it, tell her why she’s not your MOH. Honestly, if my sister was acting like that, I wouldn’t consider her at all, no matter how close we normally are. 🙁 You don’t need that extra stress.

    Post # 16
    Member
    382 posts
    Helper bee

    I didn’t vote because I didn’t see an option for what I would choose. It seems like although your sister has been going through a rough spot that you still want her to share this day with you and have the role of MOH. Based on that, I would have two MOH and ask both my sister and cousin. That way, you are still honoring your sister and you also get to have your cousin by your side to celebrate and support you. My hope is that you and your sister will grow past this difficult space you guys seem to be in. In the future, your wedding will be a day that you all spent happily together celebrating your new life- not a day that your sister’s temporarily bad choices kept her from standing beside you as your MOH.

     

    Hope this helps!

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