posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Matron is after her wedding.

I would not ask her if she wants to step down, even if she can’t help that much I assume that you still want her standing next to you on this highly important day. Just leave it, keep her as MOH but lower your expectations for how much work she will be able to put into your wedding.

Post # 3
7290 posts
Busy Beekeeper


livcurious:  What exactly are you expecting her to do in that time period that would be disrupted by her own wedding or honeymoon?

Post # 4
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

livcurious:  I’m so confused. Why do you think she would want to “step down?”

Post # 5
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

livcurious:  I dont see how her honeymoon would interfere with your wedding, if there are a weeks in between. Also nothing is et in stone, so I wouldnt worry about it. Booking a trip last min, for a month long…. seems a bit unfeasible. I mean it could happen, but its unlikely she will be able to work out the logistics of a wedding and month long honeymoon (unless their self employed and/or very wealthy). 

Post # 6
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

First – do you know that they’re taking their honeymoon right after the wedding. We did an almost 4 week honeymoon and decided to do it two months after the wedding.

Second – I think it will be fine if she has her wedding and honeymoon in that timeframe. As long as she’s back in time for the rehearsal, it’s fine! Obviously, if you were planning to have her help with DIY or something during that time period, that’s not going to happen, but you’ve got time so you should be able to plan without needing much of a time commitment from her prior to the day of the rehearsal! 

Post # 7
2209 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Are you worried she will be too busy to plan/help plan your pre-wedding parties?  AKA shower and bachelorette?

Those are the the only reasons I can think of that might make her MOH-dom a little logistically difficult.  Otherwise, she just needs to be available the weekend of your wedding; there’s really not much else she’s REQUIRED to be there for in the weeks up to your wedding.

Post # 8
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

livcurious:  Yes, Matron is after she is married.

What do you think you’ll be pressuring her with?  The only thing she needs to do is get the dress and be there on your wedding day.

Also have to mention, I’m so jelly of people that take MONTH LONG HMs!!!

Post # 9
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - The Meeting House/DoubleTree by Hilton

livcurious:  Matron comes after the wedding!

I wouldn’t ask her to step down, but tell her that you understand if she’s busy or feeling overwhelmed and ask her to just let you know if that’s the case (so that maybe the bridesmaids can step up a little). I was a bridesmaid when the MOH ended up moving out of the country and being really hard to reach – she still wanted to be the MOH, but leaned on the 3 bridesmaids a little more than usual for the bachelorette party and the bridal shower (which I think was totally fine with all of us). I would just be understand if she’s busy and know that as excited as she is to get married, she is also very excited to be your MOH! Don’t take that away from her unless she initiates the conversation.

Post # 10
4964 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

livcurious:  I would not ask her to step down. I don’t see any reason to and I think she’d be really really upset by it. She can easily plan your Bachelorette party for a month before her wedding, if that is what you are so concerned about. What else were you planning to ask her to do? See if your other bridesmaids will step up and help (though I am 4 months out from my wedding and I’ve asked my bridesmaids to do nothing other than order their dresses and don’t really plan to!). 

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