(Closed) MOH Trouble

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think your best bet is to start by talking to the friend that you had envisioned as your Maid/Matron of Honor. Be open with her, and let her know how you are feeling. If she declines, then I would pick either your super awesome friend who is excited (because you want your Maid/Matron of Honor to be just as excited as you are!!!) or your cousin, whichever best works for you! Good luck!

Post # 4
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

It’s too early to select your wedding oarty anyway, so there is no need to worry quite yet. Wait until you are about 9 months from your date, see where things are, and decide at that time.

By The Way… distance has no relevance to who you choose as your Maid/Matron of Honor. And if you can’t choose, you don;t have to. There is no law that says you MUST have a designated Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 5
3196 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@EmmiJeanne:  my one major piece of advice i am giving newly-engaged brides is to wait to pick your bridal party. wait until the 1 year mark, at least, if not later. people change QUICKLY once you’re engaged, and you’ll want to see how people react to your engagement. i picked mine right away in excitement, and i should have waited – i may still have the same girls, but i would definitely have a different Maid/Matron of Honor.

FYI, distance shouldn’t matter. your excited friend will still be excited if she’s really happy for you and not for herself, whether she’s Maid/Matron of Honor or not. i picked someone close for closeness’s sake, and i shouldn’t have. she’s less supportive now than my sister who is 700 miles away. just food for thought. 🙂

Post # 9
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hey, OP: You’re the one who gets to set the expectations for your Maid/Matron of Honor. 🙂

What do you think will you want your Maid/Matron of Honor to do? Some women want their Maid/Matron of Honor to organize showers, organize a bachelorette, help them do craft projects, go shopping with them for their dresses and your dresses, set up on the day, etc, and generally be “second in command” for the whole wedding planning process. Other people basically ask their MOHs and bridesmaids to buy a dress and show up on the day. It’s your call, but it’s a good idea to spend some time thinking about how involved you expect them to be, and how personality, finances, distance, and general life stuff may affect what people can realistically do.

Post # 10
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@EmmiJeanne:  i would wait about 6 months before asking anyone to be in your party.  it will give you some time to think about your decision and to see how your friends act around you now that you are engaged.

Post # 12
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@mypinkshoes: you are sooooo right.  I wish I had thought more about my bridal party before selecting its members…..

I would really sit back and look at everyone you are considering.  Then also look at what you think you will be expecting from the bridal party (shower, bachelorette party, dress shopping, etc).  I would pick the people that will be able to fulfill your wishes with kindness and happiness. 


Post # 13
12071 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

my Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister who currently lives in another province, has a 10 month old and is currently unemployed.  I don’t expect much of anything from her except for her to host a shower for me when I go home (and I’ve been very clear I don’t want anything formal or fancy).  She was worried at first because she’s a Bridesmaid or Best Man in another wedding (not for more than 2 years…the bride is a little over excited) and that party & the bride have super high expectations.

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