Post # 1
My 2 MOHs & BMs planned a weekend away in NYC but left me out of the planning, so it could be a surprise.
1 Maid/Matron of Honor called me to let me know she was very anxious about the plans because she doesnt like the bar scene. Which didnt surprise me because although she drinks, she has always avoided going out to bars. I was very shocked that she agreed to come in the first place. She has a history of coming to things like birthday parties and sulking in the corner alone or being the girl who locks themselves in the bathroom to cry (mind you we are in our mid-to-late 20s).
Anyway long story short, she kept saying she felt like she was going to be the “outcast” for not enjoying going out and that she feels it will be so noticeable how uncomfortable she is. She said she’ll feel like she will be a “debbie downer.”
She knows everyone going, really well so truly she wont be an “outcast.” I told her she didnt have to come etc. but she insists on coming. I dont know what to do…
Any advice? The entire weekend is supposed to be a surprise and I dont want to burden my other friends with this girl’s issues.
Post # 2
Other than insisting that she doesn’t have to come (I would probably do this) Im not sure what else you can do.
Post # 3
SillyFruit: geez, way for her to make it all about her. I don’t particularly like going out on the town late much anymore either but you can bet if I was a Maid/Matron of Honor organising my friends bachelorette I wouldn’t be calling them up to burden them with the fact that I don’t like bars. I’d suggest to her that you totally understand that she is uncomfortable with the bar scene so if she just wants to join you all for pre-dinner drinks/dinner before heading back to the hotel that you completely understand. That way you don’t have to deal with her being all mopey in the corner while you are trying to enjoy yourself.
Post # 4
gelaine22: I wish she wouldve said it to one of the other girls and not me. We have all been friends or at least known each other for years (some since we have been 8-9 years old). That way they could insist on her not coming…..
I know they all split the cost and if she backs out she’ll probably pull her funds (which I would gladly pay for, but my friends probably wont let me and they’ll end up paying her share)— which makes me feel like I cant tell her not to come, it really should be one of the other girls who are paying.
Lollybags: good idea, I will try. I doubt she’ll go for it. She *hates* being alone …
Post # 5
I realize that this is your Bridal Party, and you probably want to just enjoy yourself rather than worrying about someone else, but I would do something to make sure she’s having fun and staying involved. If no one’s talking to her, talk to her. 🙂 I would feel horrible if someone.e felt like an outcast at my party.
Post # 6
She sounds like a real pain in the ass. Who locks themself in the bathroom crying in their 20s? And sulks in the corner? She has clearly made a habit of being a drama queen and getting attention. If I were you, I’d TELL her not to come because I wouldn’t want her ruining everyone’s night with her ridiculous drama.
Post # 7
SillyFruit: One of my BBF got married last month. For her Bach, we did the NYC bar scene. Her childhood best friend and Maid/Matron of Honor does not drink, and when planning the bach she actually suggested we not do the bar scene because she didn’t think the bride would like that (when the bride heard, she was like seriously?! Does this girl know me?!).
The Maid/Matron of Honor sat in the corner the entire night, arms crossed, pouting. Very much the debbie downer of the night.
The bach is YOUR night. Do what you want, and if your friend is telling you she is going to pout in the corner, tell her you’d rather her pout at home. The bride had wanted all her friends there. But I think if it were me, I don’t want someone there who doesn’t want to be there and is going to try and ruin the night with her attitiude.