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my MOH is the same way. she's never even been to a wedding! i haven't given her as much responsibility as other people have given their MOHs because of this. i just give her suggestions (in a nice way, of course) about things that she might want to think about doing. maybe do this with your shower? of course, if she doesn't take your advice, there's not much that you can do about it (it's your shower, you're not supposed to have a say in the planning).
It is not Bridezilla to have an opinion, especially one related to the comfort and convenience of your friends and family.
It's not clear from your post whether you have other BMs. I guess I am unique in that I did help with my sorta-shower. I only had a MOH, and I didn't want to push all of the responsibility off on her.
Anyways, maybe you could ask her if she needs the invite list, or you could just mention that your mom/aunt/whomever told you they are worried about the timeline getting tight.
I know that etiquette says the bride isn't allowed to have a say in planning her shower, but I personally don't see anything wrong with discussing planning and details with the host. She's your MOH, so she's supposed to be close to you, so why should the topic be off-limits?
I think your concerns are legitimate, especially when it comes to travel over a holiday weekend. It's one thing to discuss timeline and epectations with your host, it's another to take over control and do every detail.
I'd suggest to have a discussion with her about it, and offer any help you can, whether it's you or other BMs or family members. Who knows? She might be feeling overwhelmed and would welcome the help. But if it sounds like she's got it under control, then let her do her thing.
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My MOH has been wonderful.. we chat, we email, etc. The only part that worries me is that this is the first time she's been involved in a wedding, she hasn't been to many weddings, and she's never been to a shower.
My shower is about a month and a half away, and I just found out that she hasn't gotten the invites, yet. Most of our guests are coming from out of town, so I'm getting worried that it'll be too late for them to make travel arrangements. Plus, the shower is over Memorial Day weekend, and I know some people are starting to book their vacations!
How can I tell my MOH without becoming Bridezilla? Please help!