(Closed) MOH wants to bring travel buddy to my tiny wedding.

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

hate to say it, but I think wedding party members should be allowed a +1.

My sister was dating some weird tatted-out biker dude, who I’d never met and certainly did not want in my wedding pictures, but when I protested, everyone else pretty much said it’s a rule that wedding party gets a +1, and I got shot down too 🙁

Fortunately, I lucked out and he had a motocross race that weekend and couldn’t make it, but especially if she’s travelling from the states, I think you should try to make an exception. If it comes down to it and you really don’t like the guy, you can always photoshop him out – that was my strategy!

Post # 3
Member
10563 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

If it’s super important to her, she is your MOH you could make an exception for her without reconsidering your whole guest list!

I don’t think she should be bringing someone though.  As a MOH, she’ll won’t be with the friend at the ceremony, she’ll be busy during pictures, and depending on setting for the reception she could be separate then too.

Come up with some things to do for travel companions along with some maps.  You can provide them to everyone from OOT.  Travel companions would have something to do the day of, and if anyone is making a vacation out of it they would have suggestions for before or after the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@zenzen78: I would let her, she is traveling pretty far, and she is in the bridal party.

Post # 5
Member
1851 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think there’s any reason to have people at your wedding that you don’t know/want there, especially when it’s an intimate wedding. And your sister will probably be busy with wedding stuff on the days leading up to the wedding and during the wedding so if she brings a buddy with her, they’ll probably be pretty bored (unless they don’t mind exploring a new place by themselves).

Post # 6
Member
5755 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh come one…this is your sister! Not only is she travelling a huge distance to be there, she is also your MOH. Why would you NOT want her to have a companion for such a long trip? I promise you won’t even notice this so called ‘stranger’ with all the activity of the day, so this is one exception I think you have to make.

Post # 7
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@zenzen78: You do not have to invite anyone who is not married or formally engaged. I am sure your sister will be ok on a flight by herself.

It is YOUR  money so you make the rules. Just because she is in the wedding party doesn’t mean a thing.

Post # 8
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

we had  similar situation at our DW…my sisters both wanted to bring dates, but we we already having trouble cutting down our guest list, so i simply explained that to them and they are totally okay with it! once i explained how we are very limited due to space and budget constraints, they had no problem with it. the only exceptions we made for plus ones were for people who would not know ANYONE else at the wedding.

Post # 10
Member
5755 posts
Bee Keeper

Hoiw tiny is tiny? 10 or 12 people? Then you’d most certainly notice, but if you’re having a decent amount it will mean nothing. Is that date correct too? If your weddng is 2 years away, so many things can change between now and then.

btw…I had only 65 at my wedding, and had to look at the cards to remember who was even there. We had family only and a few friends and we don’t even see the friends anymore for one reason or another…..but we still see our family! Something to think about.

Post # 11
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We had a total of 37 people at our wedding, and two of them were dates that we had never met before, and trust me, they were not even noticed.  I mean, they were noticed in that we greeted and chatted with everyone including those whom we had never met, but after that they fell into the background.

Post # 12
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I had a tiny 30 person wedding. My sister/MOH asked me if she could invite her bf who I have never met, they didn’t seem that serious. I only got to have 15 people, my husband had the other 15, so of course I was a little upset that one of those people had to go to a stranger. But she’s my sister, she was so supportive and helpful when it came to the wedding, so I wanted her to be happy and have a good time too. And like others said, I didn’t even notice him there.

Post # 13
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Personally, I would never travel a huge distance by myself, and I would hate to make my travel buddy sit in the hotel room all day while I went to the wedding.  I would just let her bring her buddy to the wedding.  At the end of the day, it’s only one more person, and it’s probably going to save you from having to fight a battle.  My motto in life is to pick your battles.  🙂

Post # 14
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ditto what you @mg1363: said.

@zenzen78: I would just talk to your sister and explain that her that her travel buddy won’t know anyone and your sister will be busy with you most of the day. See if you can get her to see your side and maybe make a suggestion of something fun her friend can do instead of attend the wedding. 

Post # 15
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would let her.. First of all not only is she your sister she is your MOH and it is only proper that your wedding party are allowed plues ones.  Not to mention I hate traveling and I always go with company!

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