Post # 1
I have known my Maid/Matron of Honor for a very long time and I love her dearly, but when I was talking to her on the phone the other night she told me that she wanted to give a 10 minute toast at the wedding reception. I was kindof doing other things while I was on the phone and didn’t want to be rude so I was like “sure!” But now that I am thinking about it, that would really be quite a long time for someone to give a toast and I woudn’t want anyone else to feel like they were unable to give one due to the amount of time that was already taken.
I want to tell her how I feel, but I dont want to bring it up out of the blue. Maybe I’ll just wait until it comes up again. Any advice on how to be gentle about this and not hurt her feelings.
Post # 3
@JenPen: I’m sure she’s over estimating how much time she’ll want. Ever had to do a presentation for school or something and think it was soooooo long, but you do a timed run and its really only like 3 min. I’m fairly certain this will be just like that.
Maybe closer to the date let her know you’d like to keep speeches to 5 min max.
Post # 4
@JenPen: I was at a wedding where the Maid/Matron of Honor did a 10 minute toast/speech. It was hilarious…there was even a slideshow.
If she wants to do this for you, maybe you should give her a chance. She obviously cares enough about you to have stuff to talk about for 10 minutes! Even if she does end up giving a 10 minute toast, I’m sure there will be lots of time for other people to also give toasts.
Post # 5
Thank you ladies!! @LilacViolet – I didn’t even think about it like that and you are so right! Thank you for shedding a differnet light and helping me to realize that it could be awesome!! @SapphireSun – Your right too, I think people tend to overestimate themselves sometimes 🙂
What a wonderful site!! This is my first post, and I am so thankful for the very nice/helpful comments!
Post # 6
@JenPen: Welcome to the bee! 🙂
Post # 7
I agree with the PPs, however…. that is WAY too long for a speech. Most people won’t get the jokes/personal stories. Tell her she has 3-5 mins max, and plan with your DJ to “awards show” her = meaning he plays music when her time is up!
Post # 8
Ten minutes is a speech, not a toast. Ten minutes is way too long.
Post # 9
That is way too long, if I was a guest and that happened I would be playing Angry Birds on my phone under the table (rude I know but I can’t listen to someone talk that long with inside jokes & personal stories etc…boring). I think 3-5 min max is acceptable, 10 min is a speech!
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@JenPen: I don’t think she realizes how long ten minutes really is when you are giving a speech. Ask her to keep it to one page typed 12 point font (or two if you’re generous) and it should still be well under 10 minutes.
Post # 11
How does she know how long it is? Has she rehearsed it? If not I’m sure she’s overestimating. That being said, 10 min is too long. If she’s telling inside jokes and such that’s going to be boring to the guests not in on the joke. I did see a toast once that lasted that long and one of the bridesmaids ended up taking the mic from the groomsman to the relief of everyone in the room. The bride is normally pretty laid back but even she was getting upset at the speech.
Post # 12
Yeah ten minutes is way too long. I say 3 is better, 5 max. At my cousin’s wedding, her Maid/Matron of Honor went on for what was probably 7 or 8 minutes but felt like eons.
Short and sweet is best.
Post # 13
@Bazinga: amen to that- especially the angry birds
Post # 14
I would talk to her sooner rather than later. Her feelings are much less likely to be hurt if you let her know what’s up before she writes it or gets excited about it.
Post # 15
In my family we do toasts at the rehearsal dinner, so all the family and most of the close friends get them out of the way, haha. That could be a good solution… she can still give her toast but it’ll be to a smaller audience.