- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
This is rather long, do I applaud you if you make it to the end!
So my situation is rather unique…Maid/Matron of Honor is my stepmother, who has been more like a friend to me than a parent. I got engaged back in March of last year, and there has been a lot of drama throughout the past 15 months. Back in November, she didn’t talk to me for a month and contemplated dropping out of the wedding because I decided that my two nieces had to be flower girls (7 and 3) and not jr BM’s.
In any event, Fiance nad I moved about an hour away in November, so I rarely get to see my family from NJ. The numerous pre-wedding things I’ve done (2 fittings, 2 hair trials, make up trial), I invited her to, but she blew me off on all occasions, even not calling me to tell me she wasn’t coming (I had to call her, only to ask where she was because I was running late) on the day of my first hair trial.
Last week, she calls me and tells me to take a day off this month to do a “spa day” just me and her. I took the day off, told her, and never heard back from her with “OK” or “Good”.
She had a hair trial on Saturday which she asked me to go to over a month ago, and I forgot…my aunt is up from SC for the shower, and me, FI and my bro went and spent the way with her. She texted me that morning telling me to be there, and I said I couldn’t make it.
In nay event, she texts me yesterday telling me “We have to talk Saturday after the shower”. I reply “About what? Is it bad?” (thinking of some major Bridesmaid or Best Man drama/etc) and she says “About our relationship, or lack thereof.” Now, when she has to “talk”, it’s typically very hurtful things (she’s called me the c word before to my face) that create a lot of pain.
I told her about the major financial and life issues that have been going on in my life (which she knows of) in the past two weeks, and that was it; she never replied back. Then she texts me this morning and says “If people are important to you, you make time for them” I told her thats not the issue, and that I hardly feel as though it’s appropriate to discuss this after my shower because I know exactly how she gets when she is mad/upset/angry, and that she’ll say some pretty hurtful things, to which she replies “Like you don’t”.
I’m at the point now where I’m not even excited about my shower anymore; I’m dreading it. I know her well enough to know that this is not a “good” talk, and I’m so hurt that she would even consider saying hurtful things to me following my shower. I don’t know if I’m venting or seeking advice, lol. Thanks for reading