- 3 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
I am thrilled that my Matron of Honor will be having her first child! I am also realistic enough to know that things will be VERY different now (when she originally agreed to be MOH she wasn’t pregnant yet). She is insistent that she wants to attend everything and generally be a super star MOH- and that’s really sweet of her to say- I just don’t expect that from her. I was hoping to get advice about bridesmaids who are new mothers, tips about babies at weddings, and what is reasonable and what is unreasonable.
Here’s the time line- baby is due to arrive in early July, pre-wedding festivities will be in September and October, and the wedding will be in November.
As for pre-wedding events, I personally can’t imagine hosting a baby shower with a newborn (2-3 months old), but she is adamant! Since she is set on hosting a shower, I offered to have her host a small shower in her home town instead of where I live (she lives an 8 hour drive from me!!) to mitigate her traveling with an infant. My Maid of Honor offered to throw a shower where we live, so that will be the main shower (it’s where most people who are invited live). The bachelorette party will be where I live, and I have told Matron of Honor a million times that I don’t expect her to attend. But she said she is set on coming! At the same time, she is very communicative of the things she will not be able to do- nothing overnight, nothing too long, and preferably with baby. I’ll probably be stoned for saying this- but I don’t really want a baby at my bachelorette party? Am I a terrible person? I wasn’t planning on doing anything crazy, but something like getting dolled up, having dinner, seeing a show (maybe broadway), maybe a little dancing, and having a girls sleepover. Infants aren’t allowed in theaters or dance clubs. And Matron of Honor did say she could not attend anything overnight and was trying to steer me away from having the slumber party. I feel like she is pressuring me to make the bachelorette party baby-friendly and I just don’t want to. Plus, my Maid of Honor is planning it and we are on the same page.
As for getting ready, do I need to find an area for baby and dad? I really don’t want to hang out with her husband (no offense)- that’s supposed to be girl time. She will be in photos as we are getting ready and we are doing bridal party photos before the wedding so someone else will need to be there to watch the baby and who knows when she will be unavailable/feeding.
As for the wedding, it is kid-free with the exception of the flower girls, ring bearer and breast feeding infants (there will be 2!). It is not a child-friendly venue. As for the ceremony, I am most worried about babies crying during the ceremony. It is outdoors so there isn’t a cry room. Dad will have the baby during the ceremony, but even if he leaves right when the baby starts crying, it will be a long walk to anywhere indoors. Anyone have any tips? Should I offer to hire a baby sitter to watch the two babies during the ceremony/reception? I know some people are weird about who watches their kids. Is it rude to tell Dad to stay inside during the ceremony with the baby? As for photos, we only have limited windows to take formal photos with the wedding party. I am concerned that may not line up with baby’s feeding schedule. Do I just take photos without MOH if needbe? Our wedding party is 16 people, so I would hate to have 15 people waiting around for MOH.
As for the reception, there is a room upstairs in the venue that can be used for other children to play/watch a movie, babies to nap, and mothers to breast feed. The reception doesn’t seem to be a proper place for a baby- the music is loud and there really isn’t anywhere out of the way to place a car seat or baby carrier (we planned on a kings table for wedding party and their dates in the middle of the room). I said the baby could go upstairs and nap during the reception, but she didn’t seem satisfied with that. I just don’t know what to do. The only part of the reception she technically needs to be present is the grand entrance and the speeches, but what if that interferes with feeding time too? She is set on being physically there, but I don’t think she will be able to be emotionally present (who could?!). I really think it would be easier for everyone if she attended as a guest and I let her know that she can bow out if need be, but she hasn’t so far and I don’t think she will. Just a lot of issues/changes I hadn’t planned on and looking for advice from people who have been there.
If anyone has any tips for breast-feeding bridesmaids and babies at weddings- please share!
- This topic was modified 3 years ago by HeartsandSparkles. Reason: why are my paragraphs so weird?