(Closed) MOH with infant…need advice.

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2001

@techie:  I have brought 2 of my infants to weddings, they were both about 4 months old.  I was exclusively nursing also.  During the ceremony, I moved to the back so if the baby started to fuss, I could leave quickly.  Is there a place her husband could take the baby if it fusses during the ceremony?  Maybe during the rehearsal theycould look for quick escape plan.  During the receptions, the babies were fine.  Actually, after I nursed them, they fell asleep in the carrier and I was able to dance and have fun.  Is the reception at the hotel?  If it is, I would have been very comfortable leaving the baby in the room with a sitter.  If not, it might be really hard for her.  

Post # 6
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Is there really no lobby space or some space where it’s not literally outside the building but just outside your ceremony/reception area for her to step out into if needed? It doesn’t sound like your Maid/Matron of Honor is being unreasonable. She has offered to step out if needed. Are you having an adults only reception?

I come from a large family so my infant nieces and nephews have been to their fair share of weddings. Usually the parents sit in the back with the child and step out if they start fussing. During the reception there usually isn’t any problem. Most of the times the infants fall asleep in their strollers and the toddlers are running around having fun and dancing.

Post # 7
5173 posts
Bee Keeper

@techie: Let her bring her baby. I wouldn’t be comfortable leaving my child with any sitter I didn’t know/ had prior experience with. But I am also very protective of my child (she is now 4 years old and I still wouldn’t accept an offer for some strange sitter to watch her) If the sitter was actually at the reception it would be another thing. For some reason, IDK if this is an american/foreign thing, but whenever people came over.. I never told anyone to be quite.. we all talked and laughed and there was always noise. SO my baby was comfortable in the noise and could (and has) slept through A LOT. I just know, if my best friend and Maid/Matron of Honor wanted to bring her kid.. and thought she could handle it.. I would let her. 

Post # 9
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If she is dealing with a colicky baby she is probably going crazy and please keep that in mind with any comments she makes. Imagine a baby screaming almost nonstop that nothing will soothe and then imagine what that does to your nerves…lol.

In regards to the wedding…if she is nursing exclusively I can understand her concern. And if they are first time parents she might not want to trust it with strangers. Perhaps suggest a family member of hers who might be able to help.

Post # 13
5173 posts
Bee Keeper

@techie: yea, pretty different (especially for 1st time parents). IF the baby is colicky extra caution should be taken also.. there are just too many people who leave their babies with sitters that are not able to deal with the responsibilities of a little human child. Can you imagine…a teenager dealing with a baby that is crying all the time.. pooping and peeing.. screaming its head off? Not very good…

Post # 14
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This was actually a very touchy subject for some people when planning my wedding (but totally not for others).  We have a lot of friends and family with new babies (in the 4 – 8 month stage) at the time of our wedding.  We also had a New York city evening wedding, and it was adults only.  The only person who had a problem with it was my (now) sister in law, who both lived nearby (close in New Jersey), lived near family (her husband’s family lives 5 minutes from them and were not invited to the wedding because my now husband and i don’t really know them), and yet insisted that she couldn’t leave her baby with a sitter, and that her husband would stay in their hotel room with the baby and miss the wedding / reception.  It was certainly not an ideal situation, but at the same time that was her choice.  My husband and I felt strongly that we wanted an adults-only wedding.  Since we had a lot of friends and family who also had babies (and were happy to have an adult night out), we also felt strongly that we would not make exceptions to this rule.  I also did not want the added stress of worrying about a crying baby at the ceremony or the reception.  In the end, it worked out fine.   My SIL made her decision about what she was most comfortable with for her baby, and I made my decision about what I was most comfortable with for my wedding. 

I think you have to decide what you want for your wedding.  You said this is the first of your friends to have kids, so the kid-issue may not be as pervasive at your wedding as it was at mine.  But, if you feel strongly that you don’t want to have babies there for whatever reason, then that is perfectly fine, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about that choice.  It’s a very important day for you, and I think it is completely reasonable to try to find an alternative arrangement rather than have the baby at the wedding. 

Post # 16
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I allowed my niece to come and we hired a sitter to be with the baby in a side room to allow my sis in law easy access so she can feed and help as needed.  I was also at a wedding last weekend where there was a 1 year old there.  She was not bothered at all by the music.  Passed out cold for the later half of the reception.

Being a new mommy myself I know it’s hard to leave the baby, particularly if she is breastfeeding.  I would say let her bring the baby, and just have a bavk up plan (sitter or husband) if the baby gets super fussy.

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