Post # 1
One of my best friends is getting married and I’m thrilled that she asked me to be her maid of honor. Her shower’s coming up, and since I’ve never been to – never mind thrown! – a shower, I’d love some advice about how to make sure this is a success.
1) The shower’s less than a month away and they haven’t registered yet. Should I send invitations without registry information? Direct to their webpage where she’ll put the information when they do register? Wait until she lets me know where they’re registering? I’ve asked her, but don’t want to seem pushy about it!
2) I’ve found some super cute invitations that I think are really her style, but it’s getting to the point where rush printing shipping might break my budget. :/ Would y’all be bothered by evites? Fill-in-the-blank ones from the store?
3) What was something you really loved about your shower, or wished had happened/been there? The other bridesmaids and I don’t have a lot of money, but we really want it to be fun and memorable for the bride-to-be.
Thanks for your feedback!
Post # 3
Yay for being maid of honor for your friend! Let’s see if we can help at all…
1) I’d point to their wedding website and then tell the bride that if she wants gifts at this shower, she’d better register!
2) You don’t need to order custom invites. There are plenty of cute invitations you can buy at the store and either fill in yourself or print on you home computer. My MIL created the invites for the shower she threw me all on her own with a bit of help from a local craft store, and they were great!
3) One of my favorite parts about my showers was that the people hosting the showers (my mom; my MIL; my MOH) each sent out a recipe card along with the invite and had all of my guests bring me a favorite recipe. Then at my mom’s shower, she gifted me a matching recipe box to keep all of the recipe cards in.
Post # 4
I agree with Gemstone.
1. Either tell the bride to register or ask her if she would rather have a themed shower, like kitchen, time of day, wine, lingerie etc.
2. Find invitations at the stationery store- there are some lovely ones out there.
3. Having the guests share a recipe, is one way of personalizing the shower. You can put them together in a recipe box, or buy a photo album with the plastic sleeves and insert the recipe cards. They could also be asked to bring a written wish, marriage advice, ideas for date nights, or share a memory of time shared with the bride.
Post # 5
So sweet of you to host the shower! Here are my thoughts:
1) My hostesses pestered me for a month to register. I was so beyond annoyed. FI and I could not find a day together when we could go that was soon enough so the hostess could get it on the invites. So, I just told her Lowe’s gift cards (which is what she put on the invites). I wouldn’t wait too long to find out if/where they are registering, people like enough time to plan to attend. You could say gift cards or money are gift suggestions. I would put the website on there anyways, just for people to get more information.
2) I have been invited to showers via e-vites and mailed invites. I don’t care either way as a guest. The mailed invites are a little more personal and take a little more effort, which I appreciate. I’ve hosted showers before and I just pick up blank ones (not fill in the blank) from Target (such a cute selection) and print my own from home.
3) Originally my hostesses were going to do a lingerie/spa themed shower for me. Then they bailed, and I was so bummed. It would have been fun and different (and cohesive as far as gifts). They didn’t do anything extra special, just typical random gifts and brunch was served. I did request no games, and they pulled out two games (a little annoyed but I played anyways). @Gemstone I did that as a host for my best friend’s shower (I was a BM) and love that idea. It’s fun and a way to share something of yourself with the bride. Wish my hostesses had done that.
There are tons of ways to make it fun, special, and inexpensive. Not sure how the bride’s personality is, but there are lots of games that don’t cost much (like the TP brides or trivia about the groom). It doesn’t have to be fancy. You can cook or find inexpensive catering. I even use items from Party City to decorate and serve. They have fun colors and patterns (even though they’re plastic), no one has ever complained, only compliments. I’m sure you will do a wonderful job!
Post # 6
agree with PP’s. brainstorm with the other bridesmaids to think of a theme. the shower doesn’t have to have a theme, but it is fun.
you can plan the food around the theme.
play games. google shower games.
but the point of a shower is opening gifts, so this will take the majority of the time.
it doesn’t need to last more than 2 hours.
Post # 7
Thank you all so much for your advice! I really appreciate it!
Post # 8
@miss.qwerty: Please don’t suggest gift cards or money. The point of a shower is to gift the bride with presents- physical things. Some people may still give cash or gift cards, but that should be their choice, not a suggestion.
Post # 9
@GeorgiaBride5: I wasn’t really into games either, but my guests at my “friends” shower (hosted by my MIL) enjoyed playing bingo with the gift opening and getting prizes for winning!
Post # 10
@julies1949: I tend to agree with you. I think I’m just going to list their website, where she’s told me that she plans to put registry info when they register. There’s even a link there to one store, just nothing on the registry yet.
Post # 11
1) I would ask her again, and if there isn’t any movement on that front, I would send the invitations without registry information. Instead direct to their webpage where hopefully she’ll put the information. I’ve been to showers where they didn’t include registry information in the invite, so it’s just spread through word of mouth. If she doesn’t register, then it will be her fault when she gets 8 toasters, 4 blenders and 9 pairs of oven mitts. haha.
2) My parents’ neighbour (and a close family friend) is hosting my shower and just used fill in the blank style invitations. They were cute, and got the point across without being too expensive.
3) My shower is next weekend, and is more of an outdoor garden party. There won’t be many tables, so my bridesmaids are doing non-writing games. The host didn’t want any games at all, but my mom convinced her to allow my bridesmaids to just do 2 (they aren’t really doing much in terms of planning the shower, so this is their contribution). I was invited to a lingere shower a few years back, and I found it odd (how much lingere does a person really need??). The last shower I went to was a mad hatter tea party, it was really cute. There were finger foods, tea, and everyone wore hats/fascinators.
Post # 12
@MapleLeafMel: An outdoor garden party sounds like such a lovely idea. Hope you have a great time at your shower!
Post # 13
Get those invites out asap, people like time to plan. Tell the bride to either register or put desired gift info on their website for invitees. No one will care if the invites are store bought, evites, etc.
My shower hasn’t happened yet, 3 months to go, but my MOH runs everything by me to make sure it’s a shower I will enjoy, plus I’m makibg half the food. I said no games because most people don’t enjoy them. We’re doing an evening cocktail style shower, with appetizers from around the world and drinks.
Post # 14
My MOH hosted my shower and now I am MOH in her wedding so I am hosting hers.
1) I would ask her for a registry like quick! If she doesn’t give you an answer, I would just leave it as is or you can do what we did and have a themed shower. We did a Pampered Chef bridal shower and amde a wish list through the host.
2) I wouldn’t do einvites because honestly I did invites with a # and e-mail, and I got no replies back. Just go somewhere and get cheap invites if you are under the gun and don’t have a budget for it. If you want responses to be quick and have better success pre-stamp them, but from my experience most people don’t RSVP. At least they didn’t for our showers.
3) I loved the games. They all wrote down some advice for me, and I had to guess who. We also guessed what was in the bag (corn strach, sugar, baking soda, powdered sugar, etc). For my friends I am doing the advice game as well and guess what the bride wore for a prize.
Post # 15
1. Just add a note about the website. It’s not your job to register her, ha.
2. Fill-ins or store bought or whatever are fine! While I wouldn’t necessarily mind an e-vite, I am also more likely to delete it accidently. And any “older” or really traditional invitees may want one.
3. I haven’t had my own, but this is what I can tell you… Drink made or break showers for me! I’m not talking alcohol. I’m talking yummy punch. But for real. If you give me off-brand orange juice, water, or coffee to pick from, I will be pissed. (Not really.) If you give me yummy fake mimosas and sherbet punch… I will love you forever. (The coffee and water are still important for other people though.)
Post # 16
Since the shower is coming up so quickly, if you do decide evites are way to go, use Paperless Post. They are gorgeous and extra customizable and just so much prettier than I’ve ever seen from any other website.