Post # 1
Does anyone else feel like when you talk to your MOH or a bridesmaid that it’s very similar to beating your head into a wall??
But you keep trying and then you feel like the fly trying to get through a window who is like “maybe this time…maybe this time….maybe this time.” But you can just never get through…
I’ve about had my fill of MOH R. At first she was going to be the only one up there with me for two reasons. One: I was always under the impression the bride bought the BM dresses. Two: She’s been my best friend since 2004.
But then I got fed up with her and realized brides don’t have to buy the dresses and I asked another friend to be a bridesmaid. NOW, I’ve so had my fill that the bridesmaid is now a MOH as well, MOH D. And MOH D has gone with me to 4 bridal salons now and was with me when I found THE dress.
MOH R on the other hand never can find the time to come anywhere with me, or hardly talk to me. She can hardly find the time….when she has no job. She sits at home….all day. I’m not knocking her unemployment because I’m unemployed too….which is why I have time to go hang out with MOH D, and do all sorts of stuff.
But everytime I call her or text her she has something she’s doing or needs to do so she can’t talk or spend time with me. And she doesn’t listen to anything I say so then she asks me stuff I already told her and I’m just like “Seriously??” My fiance asks me all the time “Is she a little ditzy?” And it’s not that she’s stupid…its that she just doesn’t focus, she’s off in the clouds. And that’s fine but when it’s constantly and when it’s like she just doesn’t care anything about me or the wedding…it’s getting very very old very very fast.
Ok venting done. Thank you.
Feel free to vent about your MOH/BM’s 🙂 Make me feel like I’m not the only one who wants to rip their hair out.
Post # 3
Sorry to be blunt, but most people other than you, your fiance, and maybe your mom, don’t really care about your wedding, with exception to those of us here on wedding bee. Which makes perfect sense to why your MOH acts the way she does. I would cut her some slack. You obviously picked her to be your MOH for a reason, did you hang out a lot before? Maybe you should try to reconnect doing some nonwedding related things.
Post # 4
I know that my wedding isn’t as important to everyone else as me. But my problem is that she’s just not even being a decent friend at this point. No matter how many times I try to talk to her or try to spend time with her she always has something better to do.
I can see where I may have made it seem like I’m mad because she’s not helping with wedding stuff. It’s not that. I mean there’s nothing for her to help with right now anyways. I just am tired of how she’s acting as a friend really.
Post # 5
A friend should care about your wedding. I care/cared about all my friends weddings..
Caring does not mean they need to give up their entire life for your wedding, but at least show a little interest every now and then.
thecolorteale, maybe there is something going on with her life right now that is distracting her during your conversations. She could be a bit depressed or dealing with some life changes right now that are difficult for her to explain.
Post # 6
art, your post made me laugh. I read it to my FI and he seconded it. Sucks that it’s true, but we’re all here for you, and at least you have MOH D. P.S. If MOH R was a good friend beforehand, don’t demote her, you’re super frustrated now I GET IT, but you will probably regret it later 🙁
Post # 7
I think the others are right. I’m sure she cares about you and your wedding but she is probably going through her own personal things. My MOH was suppose to get married in July with reception in August. They lost their jobs both in the same week had to put the house up for sale and move. So they called off the wedding for now. She is in no position to help me at all with wedding stuff let alone want to talk about.
Having said that… BMs and MOHs don’t have to help you with your wedding plans. In fact my FI and our parents have done all the planning. And you know what it has been so easy. No other people throwing in their two cents or complaining etc.
Post # 8
No, I’m not going to demote her, as much as I want to sometimes whenever I’m mad. She’ll stay MOH. I’m just venting really.
And as far as I know nothings going on in her life. She didn’t want to work anymore, so it’s not the unemployment. She lives with her fiance who is also jobless (they live with his parents) so she’s not missing him. She’s still happy with him.
I’m not really venting about her wedding involvement because like I said, there hasn’t been anything for her to do except maybe come with me to a bridal salon. But what I’m griping about is her actions as a friend, she just happens to be apart of my wedding.
If there was no wedding going on and she was acting like this, I would still be mad. She has nothing going on, yet she’s always “too busy” to talk to me or ever hang out. I mean no job, no school, no kids, nothing.
Post # 9
@thecolorteale: I laughed at the title of your post! I’m sorry that you’re having such difficulty with your MOH.. that stinks 🙁
@artbee: my mom and my fiance don’t care either.. that’s why I’m here! good point! you made me laugh too.
Post # 10
Hmm. So she just quit her job, and decided she doesn’t want to work anymore? And would rather just live with her bf, in his parents’ basement? If that’s the case, how she’s treating your wedding, actually seems par for the course. Who would want that for themselves?
M first thought was going to be that she is jealous and trying to deal with being out of work etc. But you really think those aren’t the issues.
So my only other thought. Did you say she’s like this all the time? Not keeping a job (quitting for what seems like not a good reason). And being spacey when you talk to her…. could she really have something up, like ADHD or something?