(Closed) MOH's dress doesn't fit.. and she's avoiding the topic

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
5967 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@AnonymousCupcake:  YIKES!! First off kudos on being awesome about the whole thing, it’s hard enough to be a girl and gain weight without the pressure of fitting into something, congrats on your fitness success too!  Strong=Sexy!

Her 30 pounds of weight loss will only be possible if she loses a leg in a tragic car accident, it’s not going to happen!  I would ask her out for non wedding related stuff and happen by a dress shop…Ooo! Let’s go look! 

Plus you’ve still got enough time right now, once it gets closer and she realilzes that without the aid of a tapeworm there’s no way this is going to happen, she might be a little more open to the idea…

Post # 4
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Tricky situation, you need to get this girl in the same room with you and sit her down, tell her that you don’t want her doing anything extreme or dangerous for your wedding and you and Fiance decided you will pay for a new dress for her. 

Post # 5
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

How much time would a good alterations person need to make a change? I think the best thing to do is give her around a month to lose weight (if that’s truly what she wants – not because she “needs to” for your wedding) and then take it from there. 

The smartest thing to do would probably be to find your alterations person NOW, talk to them about the situation, and see if it’s possible/how much time they would need. 

I know this must be so annoying to you but I can somewhat sympathize with your Maid/Matron of Honor – I’m very stubborn about admitting I need a bigger size in anything! In fact, even if I see a dress that I LOVE in the store, I won’t buy it unless it’s in what I consider “my size” (8). Even if it’s clear the sizes are cut small, I will never, ever go up to a size 10. Haha!

So….in this case, preparation is key. And if the alterations person says fixing the dress will be impossible, then you know you have no choice but to buy a new dress for your MOH! 

Post # 6
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Be upfront! Tell her to hell with the dress and the crash diet! You don’t want to stress and you don’t want her to stress either! Make an appointment for lunch and dress shopping without any negative feelings for either of you.

Congrats on weight loss, and for being a great friend!!!

Post # 8
11343 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

It sounds as if you are very sensitive to the situation with your Maid/Matron of Honor.  That’s great. 

As you likely know, it would not be possible for your friend to lose 30 pounds in a healthy  and reasonable manner in the six weeks prior to your wedding.  She likely could lose 15 fairly easily while still maintaining healthful eating habits, however, and that should be about one-and-a half dress sizes, since ten pounds lost is dress size.

I do like your idea of calling her, admitting that the topic is a bit awkward, and telling her that you just don’t want her worrying, stressing out, or doing something potentially unsafe for your wedding and that you and your Fiance are willing to purchase a new dress for her at no additional cost to her.  She may feel very relieved.

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