- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
Let me start by saying, I’ve always been independent and haven’t been super close with my family at all. My sister is 5 years younger than I am and is obsessed with Paris. Literally obsessed.
In May 2012, I went to Europe with some friends and my now fiance who ended up proposing at the top of the Eiffel tower. Something my sister said was her dream and i took it away from her. She’s jealous, I get that. She was also mad at me for this even though I had no idea or control over the situation.
While planning I told my mom my best friend was going to be my matron of honour. My mom got super mad because it wasn’t my sister. The one who was mad at me because I got the proposal she wanted. The one who was 5 years younger than me and has never been in a wedding when she was older than 14. This conversation ended with my mom saying “your sister will be your maid of honour. The wedding is NOT about you, its about the family”. I hung up the phone.
I agree, the wedding isn’t about me. Its about my fiance and I getting married.
To make everyone chill the hell out, I decided to have a matron of honour AND a maid of honour. My matron of honour is my best friend, I was her maid of honour in her 2012 wedding. She has taken the reins on everything (she’s done this before!) and involved my sister from the beginning of the planning. My sister however has been resistent to everything. My matron came up with a theme and purchased some things (favours for the shower and some decor). My sister freaked out because its french themed and told me she wasn’t happy about any of it and it had to be changed…
So now my matron is mad because my sister told ME she wasn’t happy, and didn’t really say anything to her during a planning meeting. My sister’s exact words were, “people don’t think of Paris when they think of you, but they think of me when they think of Paris. Its my thing NOT yours. You can’t use it.” Seriously. I have bottle opener fabvours for the wedding shaped like the Eiffel Tower and she said “you can’t have any more Paris things at your wedding because I’m going to have a Paris themed wedding”. Obviously, she’s jealous. There is nothing I can do about that. I’m not having a Paris themed wedding. It a cute favour, we got engaged there, we make our own beer and wine so its a cute favour and the boxes match our decor (stripes!).
My matron is going to talk to my sister, who will be upset but I feel she is being ridiculous. I’d talk to my mom but she would take her side and say I needed to change the shower (which my mom said she doesn’t want to go to because its rude to ask people for gifts). I feel like I shouldn’t have to deal with any of this and its crazy that its even a thing; am I wrong?!
What do I do?!
Thanks for reading my novel!
ETA: I didn’t ask for/suggest anything Paris themed aside from the wedding favours. Let be honest, no one is going to remember if she does happen to have a Paris themed wedding (she’s not engaged for the record).
My matron has purchased things for the shower already because they started planning this MONTHS ago and the issue my sister has was only told to me on Saturday. I would have no issue with any themes changing BUT I would have an issue with my matron wasting money on things that don’t get used because of my sister’s issues. I know how expensive this stuff can be and wasting already purchased decor and favours is not okay.