MoH/Sister Issues (Long!)

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Is my sister right to get mad?
    Nope, not one bit. : (31 votes)
    84 %
    Yes : (6 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1613 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @FutureMrsKelly2014:  Wowza. Your sister is insane. My gracious.

    I think it might be time to take the bull by the horns and have a stern talk with your sister. She needs to know if she is going to be involved with the wedding she needs to be supportive or she is welcomed to step down. However be prepared for your mother to have a fit.

    I think also it may be safe for your sister to be maid of honor in name only. If she is not going to be supportive, she does not get to be involved in planning. She gets a pretty dress, she’d better smile, and that’s all.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1202 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Both your mom and your sister are being ridiculous, and I don’t think it’s out of line to have a quiet chat letting them know they need to be more supportive.

    BUT: your sister is obssessed with Paris and dreams of a Paris-themed wedding. You don’t seem to care too much about France/Paris.  I don’t think it’s a huge concession to change the theme of your shower to make her shut up (Do showers need themes? I thought the theme was “wedding”…). 

    Post # 5
    Member
    8016 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Your sister is insane. But why do you want a Paris shower if shes jonesing for it so bad? That does seem a little… Pointed. I would concede on that one but give her a verbal ass whopping on her behavior. And then ignore her as MOH- just deal with your matron. At this point she just needs to show up, stand up and smile for the ceremony. Drop all idyllic sisterly expectations and work for the minimum. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1137 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I know dealing with moms can be hard. The key is stick to your wants with love and respect.

    You must tell her that she needs to help you control your sister (she is her mother after all), or you’ll have to ask her not to me the MOH. Yes, she will probably yella t you, she might hang up the phone… but you need to be strong, someone has got to be the adult there.

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    3769 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    No one owns a theme, idea, etc. But to be honest I think it is pretty incredible that the one thing your sister had always been nutso about just happens to be the one place you get proposed to and you have favors with that there.

    Quit honestly my sister would be way more important than using a theme. And I would ask that it be changed. If it is that important to her and it doesn’t sound like it is to you, I would let it go. I don’t think you have to by any means, but if this is something she has always been into, everyone knows it, she’s not making it up after the fact- I would leave it for her.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3769 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    @FutureMrsKelly2014:  ” My sister is 5 years younger than I am and is obsessed with Paris.  Literally obsessed.”

    “people don’t think of Paris when they think of you, but they think of me when they think of Paris.  Its my thing NOT yours.  You can’t use it.”  

    These were the comments that I based my response on. It implied that this was not a new obsession for her. And yes, people might think you copied her or stole her idea. If I had a family memeber that was obsessed something and their sibling had a wedding in that theme I might think it was a little odd. Out of all the themes in the entire world that could be picked, to pick something your sibling loved is not something I would do. But if it something she is just now claiming she loved, then my opinion would greatly change.

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    3097 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

    I don’t get the people that think her reaction is appropriate (? Couldn’t think of a better word ) but you were proposed to in Paris & the Eiffel Tower favors are a nod to that, I think it’s sweet ! & your moh seems to be doing good, all your sister is doing is being a debbie downer. If possible I wouldn’t involve her in any of the planning, just have her show up at the wedding. & that’s it. 

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