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I currently have a 1/3 carat princess cut diamond engagement ring and have been talking to my husband about upgrading. We always knew we wanted to upgrade my ring because when we got married we were in school and didn't have much money. I guess the problem came up when I was looking at moissanite rings and he asked several questions. He said he liked that they look similar to diamonds and in some cases shine more. This may sound dumb but, I think that only thing holding me back is the fact that it wouldn't be a "real" diamond... I love that they cost less and I would get more "bang for the buck" but I feel like I wouldn't be attached to it...Have any of you had this problem? Help...what should I do? :/
The ring is a symbol, and I personally don't think it can be "fake." It can be "not a diamond," but as you will see on these boards there are a variety of very beautiful rings, some diamond, some moissanite/asha, some beautiful gemstones or colored stones, and some sans stones at all.
It is what you make it - if you want good advice, search through the boards for some Moissanite threads. I know several brides are very happy with theirs - and they are beautiful.
I love the stone but, I know that some of my friends would say it was "fake" I guess I am reading into their opinions too much.
I think you will be attached to anything that you get. I personally like moissanite more than diamonds, everyone has their own opinion. I agree with @AmeliaBedelia: there have been a ton of moissanite discussions that really weigh out the options.
I don't think there's anything wrong with preferring diamonds, even if you don't have a good reason for your preference. When it comes to jewelry you're going to wear the rest of your life, being practical doesn't have to be a factor if you don't need it to be. Don't feel bad about wanting a diamond, if that's what your heart really wants.
I'm all for Mossanite. And to be quite honest, none of my friends ever need to know that it wouldn't be a diamond. That is only for the bride and hubs to know if they prefer.
I think you should get the one you are most comfortable with. Seeing all of your choices in person would probably make it much easier for you.
The only reason I dislike those who tout only one option is because they do it at the expense of all of the others. Moissanite has its positives as well as negatives. I wouldn't trust anyone who says it's the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Eh, for me diamonds are not that great anyway. If it shines exactly like a diamond (or more even) than why spend thousands more dollars for it? The only reason diamonds are considered so special is because of marketing. They're not actually better.
The only real downside of moissanite is that it isn't a diamond, and therefore doesn't have the diamond reputation. If you want to keep that "diamond prestige", just don't tell anyone it isn't a diamond. I'm not.
Also, moissanite isn't a "fake diamond". That's like saying an aquamarine is a fake sapphire. Moissanite is a gemstone that happens to look a lot like diamond.
I think as soon as you see a moissy in person, you'll forget why you ever wanted a diamond at all lol. If you really want a diamond though, that's fine.
I personally prefer a diamond. I hope I don't offend anyone and this is just my personal opinion for myself. I rather a tiny real diamond that shines than a big huge stone that is CZ or Moissanite. To me, the Moissanite stone is beautiful but they look too much like a diamond and it's not a diamond so in my book it's a knock-off of a diamond....aka, Fake. If you want a pearl or another stone that does not look like a diamond than thats a diff story...
But you should pick whatever YOU and your Fiance love the most because by the end of the day thats all that matters, you and him ;)
@laherna12: I second (third?) the who has to know what type of stone it is brigade. :) You guys pick what you like and are comfortable spending. From there, let people ooh and ahh to their pleasure. It's none of their business what size, what type, or whatever it is you are wearing. :) Just go look through some old threads, this discussion comes up a lot actually, and you have found some really good resources. Good luck! You can't go wrong - it's YOUR RING!
@Asia_Leone: "the Moissanite stone is beautiful but they look too much like a diamond and it's not a diamond so in my book it's a knock-off of a diamond....aka, Fake."
By that logic, I could say that diamonds are fake moissanites. :P
@deathbydesign: Ha! Good catch. Pretty soon, people will catch on to Moissys and the diamond business will have to reckon w a serious competitor. The great fire, strength and beauty of a colorless stone can be found in moissanite. It is it's own stone. People just don't know about it. Once they do, watch out!
Well, actually moissanite has more fire and brilliance than a diamond, two properties that diamonds are prized for. And while diamonds are harder, moissanite is more durable - hardness and toughness are separate properties, and the key is that diamonds have natural cleavage planes that they can crack or split along and moissanites do not.
But look at it this way - an e-ring is an emotional purpose. If you want a "real" diamond, then by all means get one! If knowing you have a diamond makes you happy, that's what matters. If all you want is a gorgeous rock, moissanite is your friend. :)
I agree with delciousappleblue. Pick something that you like are comfortable spending and wearing for the rest of your life. As long as you and your FI like it that's all that really matters. I think that I would feel similarly, in an unattached way you mentioned, only because yes while they can be as just as beautiful as a diamond, I would always know it's not.
@deathbydesign: Hehe! I love reading your posts!
It is about what YOU want and are happy with. I went with a Moissy because to get a perfect, 1 carat diamond was just such a waste of money when we have so many other things to be investing our money in (our house, our child's college fund, bills, trips, etc). That was the big deciding factor for me. I have had a diamond on my finger before and I am happier with my moissy because it is just perfect, it's hard to explain until you experience a good one first hand! deathbydesign has posted some great info and videos, you should check them out if you are considering the moissanite route! I absolutely do not feel that my stone is a knock off or a fake, it is it's own gemstone, exactly like wearing a white sapphire on my finger.
Diamonds wouldn't be considered fake moissanites until people start assuming that diamonds are moissanites.
I wouldn't want to always have to defend my stone, its hardness, or brilliance. If it's gorgeous, let it speak for itself. I also wouldn't want to always let people assume it is something it isn't.
For the OP, it's just about a level of comfort. Moissanites are cheaper. So is CZ.
@deathbydesign: The only real downside of moissanite is that it isn't a diamond, and therefore doesn't have the diamond reputation. If you want to keep that "diamond prestige", just don't tell anyone it isn't a diamond. I'm not.
Do you mean if someone directly asked you if it was a diamond, that you would lie to them? I know that would be a rude question for them to ask, but I still think it'd be wrong to lie to them and say it is a diamond.
@laherna12: I think you should get whatever will make you happy. People can tell you some of the pros and cons of diamond versus moissanite, but really it comes down to doing what you want. You are the one that has to wear it every day. :)
To be honest I haven't seen an extremely different price from Moissanite vs. Diamonds. I suppose it depends on the setting and your price range. My diamond is a .3 and I love it. I am currently looking for an eternity wedding band and checked out a few moissanites They are more expensive than the band I want thats all diamonds!!!
jamesallen.com
I love them and think they have great quality. The prices are fair and so are the bands. Double check what your looking for just to be secure with your decision. Either will look beautiful.
I think if you end up getting a moissanite, you have to be okay with telling people what it really is. If you get a moisssanite and keep it a secret, then it IS a fake diamond.
@adw2c: Smaller moissy such as those used in eternity bands may not be that far off but the difference in actual center stones is astronomical.
Get the diamond. If you're already not 100% on board with moissanite not being real enough/it bothering you, it will always bother you.
@deathbydesign: I'm all for people getting whatever stone they want, but to be honest, your position/defense of your future ring always seems a little odd. You say that "for me diamonds are not that great anyway." then go on to say that the stone you bought shines "exactly like a diamond" and that you don't plan on telling anyone its not a diamond. If you bought something that in your own words, looks exactly like something else, and you plan to pass it off as something else - why would you say that that "something else" (diamonds) are "not that great" - diamonds are clearly good enough to pass your ring off as. Moissanite is totally fine, the logic employed there just doesn't really work.
OP: I think you should be proud of whatever you buy - for its own merits, and buy something you are proud of for its own merits.
I agree with many of the PP. Whatever you decide, be happy and proud of your choice. If you do try to pass it off as something else, you are the one making it ito a fake something else, instead of proudly showing it off as its own true beauty that it is.
I really don't see deathbydesign coming off the way you described. I can kind of see your point but in her saying "diamonds aren't that great"...I see it as diamonds are overrated, not that "they aren't great but I still want to have a ring that looks like it". To me it's more like "they are beautiful, but not so great as to pay tons of money when you can get something that looks beautiful for the fraction of the price". I believe that's one of the reasons she chose moissy. (forgive me deathbydesign if i'm wrong)
My main stone is a CZ and I like that it can pass as a diamond. I like the fact that I can have my dream ring without spending thousands to get it (money I don't have and why should I not wear something I love, even if it's not a real diamond but looks like it). I am honest when people make comments and tell them immediately that it's a cz b/c I can't help myself but sure, I love it when people think it is a real diamond. Who is this hurting? No one. To me, it just shows that I can wear something that looks just as beautiful and I didn't spend tons of moneyl. And, I love diamonds. I have about 5 diamond rings. My original set had a center diamond with surrounding diamonds, the two bands I wear now have diamonds, I have a 3 stone diamond ring and a .5 ct double row of diamonds ring. I just LOVE the bigger, solitaire rock, something I can't afford in real life.
To the OP, I think you should get whatever you want. If you feel that wearing moissy is "fake" to you, then don't get it. Best of luck.
Honestly, am I the only one who has found this website?
Read this and you will NEVER want a diamond AGAIN.
:)
I got a moissanite and I never looked back. For less than half the cost of the cheapest comparably-sized diamond, I got a clear enhanced moissanite with amazing clarity that shines like nothing else I've ever seen. I have more money to spend on the wedding/bills, and I don't have to feel....guilty about it.
@gabrielleelise1981: Diamonds are gorgeous, but they are not worth what they're selling them for. I like the diamond look, I just don't like the diamond price. My point is really that diamonds aren't miles above every other gemstone, as most people think of them as. They are not the only option out there and they would not be as expensive as they are if they were not marketed as well as they have been. They are just a sparkly rock. Moissanite is also a sparkly rock. In my opinion, why would I buy a super expensive sparkly rock when I can buy the same thing for a fraction of the cost?
Also, personally, I have no problem with passing off, or if someone were to ask, saying my stone is a diamond. Like I said, the only downside of moissanite is it does not have diamond's marketed reputation, and the honest truth is that people do look down on engagement rings that do not have diamonds in them, and I just don't want to deal with that. I'm not ashamed of my stone, I LOVE it and I am super proud I decided to research alternatives instead of buying into the diamond industry's bull. If I can have all the beauty, the durability and the artificial "diamond standard" without paying the inflated diamond price, I really don't have a problem with taking it. It doesn't hurt anyone. I know a lot of people disagree with me there, but I honestly just don't care what anyone thinks of that. Sorry.
With all due respect to happy diamond owners (and I am one myself), the whole "engagement ring must be a diamond" is ALL marketing. It's not even traditional (in the sense that wedding rings have been given for ages and diamonds have really only made the appearance in the 20th century. So don't fall prey to simple marketing and think that you MUST get a diamond.
That said, you like what you like. And if it's diamonds, then it's diamonds. But you may have to compromise then because of price--a 2 ct. rock might not be in your hubby's budget. But a .25 ct. might be (you can also find a lot of pretty bands that have small pave work). And don't discount the variety of options outside of a diamond or a diamond stimulant. My ideal ring was a pearl. A friend of mine got the oh-so-classic Cartier trinity ring. And the hands-down coolest e-ring I've ever seen was wood!
And by the way, you can also find rings that have a center stone that is a diamond and then something like side stones or a halo that are made of out CZ or moissy, which make the center stone look larger and are less expensive over all. You and your FI can the agree to replace the simulants later.
@deathbydesign: I honestly don't understand your logic. Isn't buying something that looks like a diamond, and allowing people to think it's a diamond, doesn't that seem to be supporting the diamond industry?
@Miss Steinbeck: I think it could be argued that Deathbydesign's actions are supporting the status quo of colorless gemstones. But I don't think your claim that she is supporting the industry holds up, because if enough people were to do exactly as she is doing and buy non-diamond alternatives, the diamond industry would not be receiving additional support at all, but would instead take a major financial loss.
If you feel uncomfortable about not having a diamond then IMO you will never be happy with anything other than a diamond.
If you really want to upgrade have a look at some online diamond retailers, you can get some great certified diamonds at nearly wholesale prices. You might even find one for the price of a moissy e-ring? Just a suggestion : )
@Miss Steinbeck I'm not an activist. I'm not here to change the world. I just want to wear my own jewelry in peace. I didn't buy moissanite to make a statement, I bought it so that I could enjoy it. Just because I bought a moissanite doesn't mean I have any new responsibility to tell anyone about it if I don't feel like it. I could care less if people keep buying diamonds, even though I personally hate the industry. That's their call. I also do not care if I'm supporting the industry by being quiet. At least I didn't support it by putting my own money into it. That's good enough for me.
@laherna12: If money isn't an issue, then you should really just get whatever will make you happy in the end. But, if you haven't looked into moissanites all that much I would encouarge doing so- they are absolutely beautiful!
@deathbydesign: I have a diamond & it's beautiful & I love it, but I have simply DROOLED over your stone in previous posts & OMG the videos (embarrassing how many times I've actually watched them), so that says something right there... I think it's great you've put so much info out there to help other women make an informed decision (which is what this post was originally about anyway), so kudos!
@AmuseMeMusically: Wouldn't people buying diamond-like stones and passing them off as diamonds still advertise for the diamond industry? Instead of sapphires or other types of rings, if all you see are shiny colorless stones that you think are diamonds, it just adds to the social pressure of diamonds. (This isn't directed towards anyone in particular, but I'm just saying that the logic doesn't work unless there's a distinction made.)You're feeding the industry socially and mentally, if not directly through your personal finances.
Anywho, I honestly think there's a huge bias towards moissanite on these boards. OP, you aren't going to get a true idea of moissanite unless you do a lot more research on your own. It may be its own gem stone, but the ones you are buying are lab created versions of the "rare gem stone". It's still man made, so what is so rare about that? People can talk about fire and brilliance, but if you compare it to a well made CZ, the CZ is as brilliant with the same fire but without the yellow/green tinge that even some enhanced moissanites have.But not all labs are created equal and they aren't creating equal moissanite stones.
Maybe they last longer. Who knows? Moissanite wasn't introduced as jewelry until 1998. 12 years. And most people on these boards have had it less than 5. Maybe they are fantastic, but maybe they aren't. But it is a lot of money to pay for a lab created gem stone.
If cost was an issue, why are you willing to overpay for a fancier lab created stone than other alternatives? Asha or other types of CZ are out there as well. They're all man made, so does the chemical component really matter if it looks the same but is still cheaper? The holding up better comment bothers me because like how there are different grades of moissanites, there are also different grades of CZ. CZ just has a bad rep because society has really played it down. Moissanite is just CZ with a different chemical component.
I agree with one of the above posters that when someone hypes it up to be so amazing and perfect, it comes off as defensive and just odd.
Put your money where you see value. But just keep in mind:
1. Whatever the stone may be, if it is outside of what you look like you can afford, people are going to think that it isn't real. If the girl making your subway sandwich is wearing a 3 carat colorless sparkly stone, are you seriously going to think it's a flawless well cut diamond? No.
But on the other hand, if you can rock your ring, then it doesn't matter what it is made out of. I know plenty of wealthy ladies who use CZ jewelry and no one knows the difference.They don't even bother with moissanite or any other stimulant. CZ gets the job done.
2. It's a symbol. Of what is another issue. Your love? Your status? It is what you want to take it to be.
3. The most most most important thing is that you love it. It doesn't matter what it is. Feel comfortable with it and love it. Otherwise, don't even bother wasting your money.
... and don't let anyone change your mind after you've fallen in love with your ring. Ever. Not in real life, not faceless strangers on a forum.
@digitorum: Eh, my response to your first point is that I just don't care if wearing a colorless stone and not telling anyone what it is is supporting the diamond industry. Just doesn't matter to me. I wear jewelry because I like it, not because I want to make a statement with it. It's not my job to change peoples minds about diamonds. I just didn't want to buy into the diamond industry myself.
I pretty much agree with the rest though. I think the only way to decide what is right for you is by doing your own research. Diamond, moissy, CZ, they all have their pros and cons, and it's up to the individual to decide what suits them best.
(I'd like to note though, that some of your info is wrong. There are not "different grades" of moissanite anymore. There were different grades of it years ago, but now the process of making them is streamlined and the clarity and color of moissy is very even from stone to stone. What mostly affects CZ's "grade" is how well it's cut. Poorly cut CZ that was originally introduced looked terrible and is what gave it such a bad rep, but today's well cut CZ imitates diamond probably the most perfectly. Also, moissanite is not in any way CZ. It's not made from CZ and CZ has completely different chemical and optical properties from moissanite. For instance, moissanite is double refractive, which is what makes it the gemstone with the most fire, while CZ and diamond are singly refractive.)
OP, would you tell people you got moissanite if that's indeed the route you took? Would you be embarassed to tell them so? If so, don't get moissanite. Most ladies who have moissanite are proud that that's what they have and love any opportunity to educate that it's actually moissanite (at least from what I see around here). Because if you have moissanite and you "let" people think it's a diamond (and flat out lie to someone--moissanite is sparkly and pretty, but someone could notice that it is almost TOO sparkly and inquire about it), you're just perpetuating the idea that it's a substitute for diamond instead of saying "oh it's NOT diamond!". I'd be uncomfortable letting someone think something was one thing when in fact, it is not. I hesitate to say it's "not real" but it's not a real diamond, it's obviously its own, real gem, but obviously it is marketed towards jewelry because of its characteristics that imitate those of diamond. If you aren't comfortable with that, i think you have your answer.
Forgive me now for typos and spelling errors. I am on my phone and the boards suck on mydroid. OP...don't look at mossiante as a fake diamond. its only fake if you pretend that it is a diamond. I love my moissy. i didn't get it so i could fool people. I got it because i thought it was prettier than diamonds and the price wouldn't put FI in debt.
By some of the logic on this thread people with any colorless stone must be doing it to have a diamond look alike. white sapphires,cz,moissanite,ect ball msut be fake diamonds. it couldn''t be that white stoes match with everything.
but if you are not comfortable with not having a diamond then get one. moissy isn't for people who really wanted a diamond. i have never let anyone believe it was a diamond. in fact today some lady at the gas station crossed over the barrier to ask about my ring. she liked the halo design and she asked if it were a leo diamond from kays and how it looks sol much better than the ones in stores. i told her it was moissanite and she kinda made a face but put her face closer and closer to the ring. she finallly asked for the website. another time a waitress came to our table and said she had to come see the ring because she noticed it from across the room.
everyone that knows me knows its a mossaniteand i only tell strangers if they ask me what kind of diamond it is. I feel like i am doing mossanitree a service by being confident in my choice. i have been engaged since nov and people are still commenting on my ring.
oh and a local expert appraised it as a diamond worth $15k. he was embarrassed when we told him it was mossanite. he looked several more times and only then started to see the differences with the double refraction.
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