Post # 1
Do you correct people who assume it is a diamond?
An aquaintance of mine has a beautiful 1.5ct Asha stone in her engagement ring. Mutual friends ooh and aah over the ring to her face commenting on how much it must have cost, how beautiful it is. Behind her back they go on and on about how her unemployed FI should not have spent that much on a ring considering his situation and how greedy she is for accepting it.
I’ve only listened and never commented. Obviously I’m not going to say anything either way. Part of me wants to defend her but i also don’t want to out her in case she doesnt want people to know it’s not a diamond.
I’m curious of how you handle this situation. I feel bad for this chick…she’s a really nice girl and the assumptions others are making are pretty harsh.
Post # 3
@FranksMama: could you let her know some of the things people are assuming and let her handle it herself? If it were me, I would like to be told so that I could decide if I want people to think its a diamond. They may talk abot her either way since there is also a social stigma attatched to non-diamond engagement rings.
I have a CZ. I don’t advertise it but I don’t hide it either. Quite a few of my freinds know but I don’t tell strangers who don’t ask (and no one has ever asked).
Post # 4
I say let her take care of it. I would tell her what they’re saying though, so it’s not like it surprises her if it comes up in the future.
Post # 5
@MissTatas: I agree. I don’t advertise it, but I do correct people if they call my moissanite a diamond (which has only happened four times and basically it was “I’ve never seen a diamond sparkle so much!” and I tell them that it’s moissanite) I think you should tell your friends that they look like asses for assuming something and then let your friend know too. It’s her choice to tell. She will either own it and do so with confidence or let people who think it’s a diamond think it’s a diamond.
Post # 6
We don’t outright tell people, but if they ask where we got it, I say online at Ashadiamonds.com. I let them figure it out from there. Also, when they ask the cost, (yes, can you believe it’s happened?) we’re honest. I have actually turned a few people onto Asha, because they thought my ring was so pretty, that they couldn’t imagine spending 3 or 4 times as much for a diamond.
Post # 7
I always tell people my stones are moissanite. I like to educate people on alternatives. Usually they are very excited about it too!
Post # 8
Thanks for the advice ladies!! I’ll say something to her about it.
Post # 9
I think you sound like a very good friend for considering all the angles! Truth is, people are going to say rude things about virtually any ring, it’s a catch 22.
Here’s a list of things that they could say about any ring:
It must have cost a fortune, but they are poor!
She’s greedy for accepting that!
I can’t believe he got her something FAKE! (just because it’s not diamond blahh)
It’s so small, he must not love her..
That ring is ugly!
The issue with this particular situation is that they call her greedy for having the stone because they assume it is a diamond, but if they found out it was an Asha they would probably make rude comments about that..
Post # 10
I don’t have my ring in my possession yet (FI has it hidden until it’s the right time to formally propose, haha) but I plan on just wearing it and if people ask, I will tell them and say it’s an “asha diamond.” My center stone is a 2.5 asscher cut (about 1.67 diamond equivalent?) and we aren’t rich or anything, so a diamond of that size would never be in our budget.
Post # 11
Well… I think that like anything else in life, it’s all about context. I haven’t had anyone say “diamond”, so it’s never been specifically correcting. Sometimes, it’s just time to keep my mouth shut and accept a compliment, mostly with people I don’t know too well or if I’m in a hurry. With people I’m close with who know at least what my financial situation is (grad student) I like to explain about it in a gushing kind of way, because I really am glad FI understood my reasons for wanting moissanite even if he could have afforded a diamond.
On the other hand, recently he was sort of showing off my ring to a friend of his as a “hey look we’re engaged!” kind of thing. The friend said something about “That’s a big one!” (1 ct equivalent) I kind of felt like it wouldn’t be right to say to a friend of his (friend/coworker, who knows FI could have afforded that size of diamond) that it wasn’t one, if that makes any sense? I guess I’m not out to embarrass him for agreeing with my decision, if you know what I mean.
Post # 12
Other than best friends and family, I’ve only told one other person. NO ONE here knows about Moissanite (which I have) so it’s just this crazy long-winded explanation. If someone asked, of course I would tell them, but if they just assume it’s a diamond, I’m not going to correct them.
Post # 13
@soon2bhis: Ha ha I know what you mean about explaining to people in Canada….they have no idea. I do tell people if I have time and they are like “a what??” So I really dont bother anymore.
Post # 14
@Kat: Oh lord, that is so true. I think it’s like babies, we all love our own, but other people will always think theirs is best. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but some people could use a lesson in discretion and tact.
@FranksMama: If I were you, I’d simply say that her finances are none of their business. I’d also point out the possibility that maybe she bought her own. It’s not like we’re living in the 1900s anymore. Women can pay their own way, and a relationship is a partnership, right?
Post # 15
People are going to talk regardless. If they think it’s real, they assume he went into debt and they are materialistic pigs. If they think it is fake, then they are cheapskates and their love isn’t real.
Either way, the couple did what made them happy (hopefully) and they are really not harmfully affected by the talk anyway. The truth is that they know what they spent, they know what they could afford, and they are reaping the benefits.
You are a good friend for not “outing” her, because that should be her choice. It really isn’t the other ladies business and they seem like a catty bunch anyway.
Those of you with a CZ, you don’t have anything to explain or feel bad about. I think it shows you are smart!