Mom at the bachelorette party

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What should I do?
    Suck it up and let her come : (7 votes)
    8 %
    Stand your ground. You deserve one night. : (79 votes)
    87 %
    other (explain) : (5 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    367 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Why do some parents act like small children. Your Mum sounds like she is being a brat.

    I can understand why you don’t want to invite her. I guess you just have to weigh up whether it would be worse to not invite her.

    Post # 4
    951 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - A Beautiful converted Barn

    i would stand your ground. you dont want to be worring about fights or petty tantrums on your bachelorette party.xx

    Post # 6
    2315 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I would stand your ground but also possibly offer a compromise of letting her come to some of it, or doing something with you, her and your sister at another time. 

    Post # 7
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Do something else like a mini-bachelrotte with your mom maybe?

    Post # 8
    460 posts
    Helper bee

    I would just tell her you want for your girls & yourself to be able to cut loose and talk without any awkward feelings of having embarrassment from “parental supervision”. Additionally, given her health issues (knees), it probably isnt a good idea given you guys will be on the move all night. It’s not like this is a 12 yr old sleepover. Would she expect to accompany you on your honeymoon as well? 

    Perhaps offer a compromise of joining the dinner only, or else maybe a special luncheon for just you, your sister & her.

    Post # 9
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    This may not help, but I couldn’t have imagined my party without my mom there. In fact, it was at her house (we just have an 800  sq. foot townhouse)… She did all of the food and drinks and even won “Pin the Macho on the Man,” haha. I know your situation is different though. My MIL wasn’t comfortable with all of the raunchy stuff, so we did a spa trip earlier in the day and she was happy to be involved without being subjected to penis everything.

    Post # 10
    268 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I like the idea of a compromise as well.  Mine was the night before my shower so all my female relatives were in town.  We did Painting with a Twist so my aunts & younger cousins (whom I’m close with) could join for a little.  My Mom chose not to come so she could help my aunt who was hosting finish up, but I actually would have loved if they had come.  After that it was the bridal party only portion of the night.  I think if you could convince her to just do dinner maybe that would be a happy medium?

    Post # 11
    2818 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    OMG no! Why is this even a question?! It’d be one thing if you were those girlfriend type of mother-daughters but apparently you’re not. And your mom MUST know this. So I don’t understand this. NO she can’t come. Say it early. Say it often.

    Post # 12
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    If it were my Mom, I would have invited her to come out–but my Mom is a party on wheels, and your Mom sounds like a bit of a pain in the rear!

    I would stand my ground. It’s one night, it’s YOUR night, and there’s really no need for her to be there!

    Post # 13
    2912 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    No, a bachelorette is not a place for Mums unless you are very close. I would suggest a lunch or something else but I doubt she would be happy with that. Put your foot down. 

    Post # 14
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    You should absolutely stand your ground on this one!  It’s YOUR bachelorette party, and you deserve to have a night of fun with your friends/sisters/whoever you want to invite.  I am super close to my mom, we talk pretty much everyday and she was wonderfully supportive the whole way through the wedding planning process… and I still wouldn’t have invited her to my bachelorette!  Nor would she have dreamed of asking to attend, so it was never an issue.  Anyways, I think you could do something to appease her and maybe take her to lunch or do something else she would enjoy as your mother-daughter time – but don’t give into her on this!  I think you would just end up regretting it in the end and not having a good time at all because you would be worried about babysitting her instead of enjoying yourself.   

    Post # 15
    1696 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    The fact she’s acting like a child is all the more reason you should say no. Don’t reward this kind of obnoxious behavior or she’ll think she can use it to manipulate you.


    If you and your mother were close, perhaps it would be up for discussion if YOU wanted her there. But this is your night of drunken debauchery and the people attending should be the ones that you want.


    Stand your ground. You are NOT in the wrong here and she’s being a selfish baby here.

    Post # 16
    1140 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada

    I would stand my ground if I were you. I always think a bachlorette party is for friends and a shower is for the mum’s and older relatives.

    I am having a shower which my mum and MIL will attend but they will then leave after dinner and we will go onto my bachlorette. I am also having a bachlorette in the UK which will be a bit more lively and my mum was hinting that she wanted to come to that (hells to the no!) but I shut that idea down very quickly.

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