Weddingbee boards

Today I called my mother to find if any more RSVPs had come their way for the wedding. Today is our deadline day for o ur 10/9/10 wedding!!! 3 weeks, 1 day to go!

My mother informs me that my cousin is coming, plus his new girlfriend. Now, I didn't know he was dating anyone, nor have I met this woman in my life. My groom and I are right down to the wire on people and space. This is a very small, intimate pretty much family and very close friends only wedding. If I had wanted to invite plus ones, I'd have added "and guest" to his invitation. I did not. In fact, I have, on our website, "unfortunately we are unable to accomodate plus ones (added guests) at this time." I point blank said he was Not going to bring her, that it was kinda rude, to be honest, and that we just did Not have the space.

At which point my mother told me I was being a bridezilla, told me if I wanted her uninvited (she's not invited) then I'd have to call the cousin myself. (Parents are hosting). Then she hung up, and I burst into tears. I don't think I was being a bridezilla, and I've worked really hard not to get worked up about things. I take beng called that really hard. Am I in the wrong? Should I invite this woman? And to top it all off, even if I do manage to find a spare seat, what the heck am I supposed to put on the seating chart? "Cousin's new girlfriend?" I don't even know her name!

I'm sorry, that's really frustrating.  We had a small wedding (around 85 guests) and my MIL basically forced me to invite her friend's teenage twin daughters, who I'd never met.  I had only ever met the friend once!  It was a thorn in my side the entire wedding planning process, I mean, we didn't invite some of our friends, but these girls were going to be there??  

Anyways, the day of the wedding, I didn't even notice them, or care that they were there.  I think if your parents are hosting the wedding and its not an issue of paying for the extra plate, just suck it up and take it gracefully.  I'm sure you can squeeze one more chair at their table.  Just write "Guest of Cousin's Name" on the escort card or seating chart.  It's very rude of them, but some people just don't get it, and its not worth stressing out about.  

Egh!  Sorry your mom called you the 'b-word'!  Your mom shouldn't have invited the cousin's girlfriend, especially if you are limited on space.  I don't think you are in the wrong.  But that said, at this point with 3 weeks to go, the best way to deal is really just grin and bear it.  The headache of calling up your cousin to tell him his gf is uninvited would just make the issue bigger than it needs to be.  Just add her as "Cousin's Guest" to the seating chart and call it a day.  Even though it may cramp up space at their table to include her, you won't be sitting at that table anyway, so I can gaurantee you won't even notice it on your wedding day. 

I gave up on my guest list battles when we were getting close to wedding day, and I'm so glad I did.  We invited DH's uncle who is single, but then we found out from MIL 2 wks before the wedding that he was going to bring his new girlfriend and his 2 kids!  There really was no upside in trying to fight it.  Plus, one lesson I learned from my wedding was that the more generosity you extend, the more it comes back to you!

Big hugs!  I don't think you're out of line, but if your parents are hosting and they're willing to pay for the additional guests - let them.  I would remind your mom of the venue size constraints and say that if the cousin's guest comes that so-and-so (preferably someone close to her) won't be able to come because the venue can't accomidate that # of people.  Maybe that will help her put numbers into check....or another way is like well mom I'm find with her coming but don't you think that will make so-and-so angry since they weren't able to bring a guest?

You're totally not being a bridezilla!

I am glad that I posted this, it  helped me to see things a little more clearly. True the parents are paying a big chunk of the wedding, so I suppose if they're saying she comes...I'll grin and bear it. If it keeps the peace at this point, right? I will contact my cousin and ask for her appropriate name. I'm thinking of gently reminding in casual conversation that it's a really small, close family/friends wedding, (not big dinner/dance affair) and how much we're looking forward to seeing those we love and spending time with them. Might be he or she will decide that her attendance isn't necessarry at this time. If not, ah well.

I'm still hurt over the bridezilla comment, and I would have taken it better but Mom has really not been all that involved/enthused over the wedding process. It was just salt to the wound. I'm trying not to let it ruin the experience. 3 weeks and I marry my sweetie!