Post # 1
My bridal shower won’t be for months, but my mom has already expressed concerns about how limited she will be when it comes to helping that day.
She has health problems, so she tires easily and can’t be on her feet for more than a half hour or so at a time.
So she can’t really decorate, run around, help prepare food, serve drinks, that sort of thing.
It’s been my experience that at bridal showers, the BMs and close female relatives (mom, godmothers, aunts, grandmas) walk around the whole time making sure everything is neat and tidy and all the guests are accomdated – refilling drinks, cleaning up used plates, that sort of thing.
And my mom says she feels like she will be useless because her stamina just isn’t good due to the health issues.
I of course don’t expect my mom to do anything she physically can’t do, but I feel bad because she feels guilty.
Post # 3
Who is hosting the shower? Is it being held in someone’s home or at a hall or restaurant?
Post # 4
My MIL hosted my shower, with the help of my mom and sis. MIL has MS, and can’t move too fast. She hired a caterer, who did most of the carrying and cleaning. FIL was around, and lifted heavier stuff during setup. I’m sure whoever hosts will get along without her help,and if she hosts maybe she can hire a few HS kids to do the labor.
Post # 5
I’m sorry your mom feels so worried. I’ve been to only tiny showers (< 20 people), and no one needed to do anything other than set up; people refilled their own drinks and went to the buffet table themselves. While you could reassure your mom that your friends will be glad to do the set up, and she can just sit back and relax, perhaps she would still feel insecure if she is used to doing a lot of the service. To make her feel at ease, it might be best to hold it in a restaurant.
Post # 6
Her and I aren’t actually concerned about who is going to do the work — I know my bridesmaids will take care of that.
What I meant is that I think my mom feels guilty that she CAN’T help — like she’s useless. And I don’t want her to feel left out or unincluded so I am just looking for ways to make sure she feels needed and appreciated.
Post # 7
Normally one of the bridesmaids write the type of gift and the name of the giver on the back of the card in case any cards get separated from the gift. Perhaps your Mom could take on this role?
Post # 8
@julies1949: That is a really good idea! She would be perfect for that, thanks!
Post # 9
Could she be the person who sits and writes down all the gifts you got and who gave them? Give her a doable role – sounds like she wants to do something.
Maybe she can help address your thank you envelopes.
“It’s been my experience that at bridal showers, the BMs and close female relatives (mom, godmothers, aunts, grandmas) walk around the whole time making sure everything is neat and tidy and all the guests are accomdated – refilling drinks, cleaning up used plates, that sort of thing.”
I have seen only the hosts do this stuff – not extended family (if they are not hosts).
Post # 10
@Stace126: if her health won’t allow, find her a seat of honor and Friends and family should understand (unless she’s trying to keep it a secret?)