(Closed) Mom complaining that I’m going to take my future husband’s name

posted 8 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am not a trust and wills attorney, but, if the will was written by an attorney, you should be fine. Any decent attorney will write the will in such a way to account for a name change. You would want to write, “I leave my property to Jane Smith” because there could be a ton of Jane Smiths. You write, “I leave my property to my daughter Jane.”

Besides, if she isn’t married when she passes away, if there is a defect in the will, you would take all of her property by operation of law. Basically, if she wrote it and didn’t do a good job, the property she meant to go to you will go to you anyways because you are the first in line by the rules of intestate. That would only change if she were married.

Post # 4
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would think that your birth certificate would suffice! I’m not a lawyer so I’m not sure but that would have your born name & would prove heritage.

Your mom is probly having a hard time letting you go. Its hard for some parents once they realize they’re starting their own family. I hope she calms down about it, but once she comes to peace with it, she’ll probly stop complaining about it & you never know how long that will be.

Congrats on your wedding, its so soon, you must be thrilled 🙂

Post # 5
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I wouldn’t worry about it.  It is probably written for ‘my daughter Jane’ like monitajb said.

Post # 8
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

You should be fine. Lawyers and officiants of the will reading will have encountered this before. Does your mother understand the reasons why you want to change your name? Maybe, like you said, she’s just freaking out about it.

Post # 9
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It does sound like your mom is having a hard time letting go, in your case, because she is making such a big deal about it.

Personally, I would be upset if my daughter changed her name. But it isn’t the end of the world. We all do things all the time that our parents wouldn’t choose for us. So the fact that she is throwing a fit indicates to me that there is a bigger issue.

Post # 10
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

isn’t it the sons that get the death grip from mom? ouch.

Post # 13
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My mom doesn’t want me to either.  She is definitely having a hard time with the thought of my name being different than hers.  I think she needs to get over it, I don’t see it as that big of a deal.  Your mom needs to be supportive of you.  And it makes no sense that you would lose property rights or a spot in the will if your name changed.

Post # 14
Member
2305 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@serabell, cool website. Could come in useful.

Post # 15
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I highly doubt it would be a problem.  She’s just trying to bribe you to do what she wants.

Post # 16
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Nope, I don’t think it will accidentally be a problem.  Of course you mom has every right to explicitly cut you out of the will but it won’t happen by accident because of a name change.

She seems to be blowing it out of proportion but I’d try to be supportive and caring of her as she seems to be having a hard time.  It’s likely that in a couple of years the two of you will laught about this.

 

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