Post # 1
So ever since I told my mother that I am going to take my fiance’s last name after we get married she’s been on a rampage.
Why don’t you have hyphenate? Why don’t you turn your maiden name into your middle name?
I live in the City of New York where you cannot turn your maiden name into your mdidle name without going to court and I don’t have time to go to court to appease my mother.
I don’t want to hyphenate because I just think that’s stupid (no offense) and I want to have the same legal last name as my husband and my future children.
So today she comes up with some shit about the will and is like oh you shouldn’t legally change your last name because you are listed on the will and on our family property with your maiden name. And I was like can’t you change that? And she’s like I don’t want to change that.
My question for you bee’s is if I change my last name will I suddenly be cut out of the will and lose any property that I would inherit or at the reading of the will, would I just need to bring a copy of my birth certificate or something like that.
Or do I need to force my mom to give a copy of my marriage certificate with my legal name change in order to make sure that I’m not accidentally cut out?
Are anyone else’s parents giving them a hard time for changing their name?
I think that my mom is partially freaking out about all of this because she never got married and I am an only child.
Post # 3
I am not a trust and wills attorney, but, if the will was written by an attorney, you should be fine. Any decent attorney will write the will in such a way to account for a name change. You would want to write, “I leave my property to Jane Smith” because there could be a ton of Jane Smiths. You write, “I leave my property to my daughter Jane.”
Besides, if she isn’t married when she passes away, if there is a defect in the will, you would take all of her property by operation of law. Basically, if she wrote it and didn’t do a good job, the property she meant to go to you will go to you anyways because you are the first in line by the rules of intestate. That would only change if she were married.
Post # 4
I would think that your birth certificate would suffice! I’m not a lawyer so I’m not sure but that would have your born name & would prove heritage.
Your mom is probly having a hard time letting you go. Its hard for some parents once they realize they’re starting their own family. I hope she calms down about it, but once she comes to peace with it, she’ll probly stop complaining about it & you never know how long that will be.
Congrats on your wedding, its so soon, you must be thrilled 🙂
Post # 5
I wouldn’t worry about it. It is probably written for ‘my daughter Jane’ like monitajb said.
Post # 6
Yea there are others with your name in the world, look here:
Post # 7
Yeah, I think she’s just having a hard time that I’m no longer going to have the same last name as her.
She’s also been complaining how all of her other friends daughters have hyphenated their names and/or have kept their maiden name. Well, goody goody gum drops for them, I don’t want to do that.
Post # 8
You should be fine. Lawyers and officiants of the will reading will have encountered this before. Does your mother understand the reasons why you want to change your name? Maybe, like you said, she’s just freaking out about it.
Post # 9
It does sound like your mom is having a hard time letting go, in your case, because she is making such a big deal about it.
Personally, I would be upset if my daughter changed her name. But it isn’t the end of the world. We all do things all the time that our parents wouldn’t choose for us. So the fact that she is throwing a fit indicates to me that there is a bigger issue.
Post # 10
isn’t it the sons that get the death grip from mom? ouch.
Post # 11
I just don’t understand why she’s so upset that I’m changing my name.
I’ve always said that I would take my husband’s name and that I wasn’t a fan of hyphenating (no offense to those who hyphenate) so I don’t understand why this is such a huge surprise.
I have 9 days left until I get married, you would think that she would calm her crazies and try to be a decent and supporting.
Post # 12
@serabell, That’s a really cool website.
I checked it out and there’s actually one only person in the United States with my name so presumably it’s just me. I put my married name into the system and the same thing.
Post # 13
My mom doesn’t want me to either. She is definitely having a hard time with the thought of my name being different than hers. I think she needs to get over it, I don’t see it as that big of a deal. Your mom needs to be supportive of you. And it makes no sense that you would lose property rights or a spot in the will if your name changed.
Post # 14
@serabell, cool website. Could come in useful.
Post # 15
I highly doubt it would be a problem. She’s just trying to bribe you to do what she wants.
Post # 16
Nope, I don’t think it will accidentally be a problem. Of course you mom has every right to explicitly cut you out of the will but it won’t happen by accident because of a name change.
She seems to be blowing it out of proportion but I’d try to be supportive and caring of her as she seems to be having a hard time. It’s likely that in a couple of years the two of you will laught about this.