MOH is mad at me
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Mom doesn't like BM's tattoos

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
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    1.
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    Busy bee
    newbiecici    September 18, 2010   Louisiana

    One of my bridesmaids has a tattoo that's flowers and vines that starts in the middle of her chest and goes up in a V across each shoulder.  Her dress is strapless.  (I picked the colors and told my MOH and my BMs to pick the dress they wanted...they all picked a strapless one).  My mom is now freaking out over BMs tattoo that you can see it with her dress since it's strapless.  I don't have a problem with her tattoo at all.  And I dont' think it's fair to ask her to wear a wrap or a jacket when none of the other girls are or to cover up her tattoo with makeup.  My mom is also worried with other people will think (like she always is).  Like, "Did you see Cici's friend?  The one up there with the tatoo?" Which wouldn't bother me at all since I really don't care what any random person says especially about one of my best friends.  I dont' know how to get my mom to back off, though. She won't drop this at all.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    mrskesslertobe    September 18, 2010  

    I would just tell her that there is nothing you can do to change the situation. This is your friend and you have already asked her to be a bridesmaid. The only time it will be really noticeable is during the ceremony and everybody is likely to be focused on YOU and youe FI.

     
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    spaniel    March 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    It's always nice when someone doesn't like someone else's tattoos... the simple solution is for your mom not to get tattoos of her own if she doesn't like them. ;)

    I'm all about picking battles. I would definitely pick this one. This is your friend, and it's your wedding. Who are these "people" that are going to "think"?

     
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    zippylef    October 30, 2010   Norfolk, UK

    I agree with Spaniel. There's nothing to be done, really.

     
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    KT_Williams    July 3, 2010   Washington

    I agree! My bro is getting married this summer and his FI has big tatoos on both sides of her arms. She offered to try to get the make up to hide her tattoos and my brother responded with the cutest thing, its what makes you YOU! Its a part of YOU! There is no need to be ahsamed or to hide it. I think the same can apply to your BM, she is your friend, you love her as a friend and its part of her and what makes her her. I mean she prob got it because she like it and its a reflection of the type of person she is! As your friend you understand that, and though your mother may not you need to tell her that, it is your wedding, it is your friend, and its a part of her that makes her who she is etc...

    Good luck!

     
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    eloping    May 23, 2010  

    i dont like tatts either and yes, i am one of the guest that will be looking at them and going uggh but you know what - your guests dont get a say in any of that and your wedding is about you and your FI and your choices so if the tatts dont bother you or her then there is no discussion needed

    as far as your mums comments, does she know your MOH well? like her? if yes then i would remind your mum that your friend has been a good friend though the years and her support and love means more than other peoples opinions

    goodluck!

     

     
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    vintage2010    April 10, 2010  

    I agree it is going to be too hard to have her cover them up.  I just read one of the blog's from a bee who used makeup to cover her's up and the make-up reflected in the pictures.  So what's worse to have a weird blur reflection in all your photos or the tattoo that might just blend in with the dress/jewelry and flowers.

     
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    worcesterbride    August 15, 2009   live in NYC, wedding in Worcester, MA

    Yuck! Sorry you're dealing with that.

    If it were me, I'd ask my mom whether she *really* thought people would think it reflected poorly on me to have a friend with tattoos, or reflected poorly on her to have a daughter who has a friend with tattoos! Like honestly, are your parents' friends and family really going to be thinking, "Tattoos on one of the bridesmaids! I thought Cici's mom was so nice, but with her daughter's friend having a tattoo, I must've been mistaken!" Sure, maybe they will judge the bridesmaid... probably that's nothing new for her, most people with tattoos are used to getting different reactions.

     
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    monitajb    July 17, 2010   Sacramento

    I think the only thing to say is, "Ma, back off. My friendship with her is much more valuable than the chatter of some gossip. You taught me to be better than that. So lets act like it!"

     
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    Anonymous      

    Like others have said, can't change it now! Not that you'd want to, either.

    Just tell your mom that!

     
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    3M    June 5, 2010   Mt. Morris

    Half of my wedding party (brides sides) is full of tattoos, i love em, i think its makes them who they are.  Sorry mom!!

     
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    Selene221    October 31, 2012  

    Leave it be. You obviously picked this girl to be your bridesmaid for a reason and her tattoos don't bother anyone any other day so why would your wedding be any different? If you have her cover them, it comes across that you are ashamed of a part of who she is. It's not your mom's decision and your guests won't think twice about it.

     
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    Magenta    July 31, 2010   Springfield MA- Wedding in PR

    I HAVE TATTOOS AND IS TRUE THAT IM USED TO PEOPLE JUDGING ME BECAUSE  I HAVE THEM. I UNDERSTAND YOUR MOM BECAUSE WHEN I GOT MY FIRST ONE SHE WENT CRAZY TO POINT OF NOT TALKING TO ME FOR TWO WEEKS. JUST BREATH, BE HONEST TO YOUR MOM ABOUT THE SITUATION AND THAT YOU DONT CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. AND WHENEVER SHE TELLS YOU AGAIN YOU JUST IGNORED HER... THAT IS WHAT I WILL DO

     
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    newbiecici    September 18, 2010   Louisiana

    Thanks for the advice.  I've tried telling my mom that it doesn't bother me.  But it obviously bothers her that she thinks people will talk.  I think that they're are certain kinds of people who will talk no matter what (be it about tattoos, food, music, or whatever)  I'd really hope that no family members or friends would do something like that, but you never know.  So let them talk if they want to. 

    Also, the majority of the wedding party has tattoos!  This BM is the only one that has any that will be visible with her dress.  (My dad even has tattoos!)  Plus her tattoo is of flowers, it's not like it's anything offensive or tacky.  And I'm not having a church ceremony, so I'm not really worried!

    Thanks again, Bees!!! :)

     
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    Blushing bee
    missplanner    May 1, 2010   Biloxi

    BY the time we marry I wil lhave finished a piece that covers my entire back. I also have tat's on both arms, legs, etc. Most my bridal party has them too. It should be funny to see if ppl stare since I'm wearing a strapless gown ! I'm alwyays amused by these ppl.

     
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    oracle    October 23, 2010   Los Angeles

    Try not to let your mom get under your skin.  If she won't drop it, at worst you'll have to continually listen to her talk about it, and then she'll eventually move on.  If she starts going off, just tell her that you understand where she is coming from, but you love your friend and aren't ashamed by her tattoo, and if people 'talk' it's not going to concern you in the least.   Good luck with not getting annoyed!!! 

     
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    Busy bee
    eurekaanchovies    March 27, 2010  

    Yuck!

    What if you just started ignoring her?

     
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    cardigan    January 7, 2011   Austin, TX

    I'm curious what all of these "people" are going to "talk" about - - "look at the bridesmaid! She has a tattoo!" ... then what? What's the big deal? 

    I'd tell your mom that you're sorry, but you're not going to ask your friend to cover up her tattoos. It's unfair to your friend, and it's a silly thing to worry so much about!

     
    19.
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    MightySapphire      

    I would just tell your mom that the only solution is you drop her as a bridesmaid or ask her to wear a sweater.  Since neither of those is going to happen, drop it!!

     

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