No, you’re not alone… Generally both my mom and my FMIL have been awesome, offering their help and being super excited and all. Unfortunately, this comes with a hefty side of their personal opinions, not all of which are negotiable, as it turns out.
My mom has a charming way of coming up with something she thinks is awesome, and then asking me about it again and again and again until I’m ready to scream. This is how I’ve finally given in to her and am letting her organize a traditional (and extremely boring!) dance of my culture, as long as no-one is forced to participate and I get to pick the music. It was just easier to let her do it than have her ask me another billion zillion times… And occasionally she sits me down to “ask me about my vision” (read: interrogate me about my plans), which she then proceeds to write down in a somewhat one-sided way and use as notes to base her personal planning on. I’ve seen some of her notes lying about, and I sort of dread the day she brings it all up.
My MIL has been wonderful, going so far as to pay for pretty much everything, and I’ll forever be thankful to her. Since the beginning, she’s been saying that she absolutely will not interfere, and that we get to decide everything ourselves – except this is not the case. She makes some vaguely passive-aggressive comments about our choices every now and then, saying things like “it’s not what I would have chosen” and then refusing to tell me what she WOULD have chosen. She told us to invite whoever we want, and then made the guest list bleed over by over ten people she had to have there no matter what. I would have refused – I’m still sort of upset about it – but how can I, when she’s the one paying for everything? *sigh* Now she’s giving us trouble for letting the groomsmen wear whatever they want instead of coordinating and paying for their outfits.
But my GRANDMOTHER has been the worst of all. We’re having two receptions, since the wedding is so far most of my family and friends can’t make it there, and she is EXTREMELY opinionated about everything we’re trying to do. She wouldn’t approve of the first venue I suggested, she refused all my initial ideas about food. She keeps complaining about how far the actual wedding is (she is coming to it, but clearly she does not want to travel). She vetoed my idea of a sort of salad buffet for the second reception by telling me that there’s “real people” coming, so I can’t do that. To this day, I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean. She has since offered to pay for the catering, though I’m unsure whether this is because of her lack of belief in my skills to find decent food or because she genuinely wants to help out. I get the feeling she’s trying to impress my FI’s parents somehow. I have no idea what’s gotten into her otherwise.
So, no, you’re not alone. I’m really fed up with the whole process by now, because everyone is full of opinions, and their opinions are all better than any other opinions. *sigh* It’s especially infuriating when it’s almost invariably accompanied by the “you can do whatever you want”. Yeeeeeah. “You can do whatever you want, as long as it’s the thing I want you to do” would be more accurate!