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Now, hold on a minute here: who's paying for the wedding? If you are, you DO NOT have to include them, and if you want to, make her pay the extra grand! If she's paying part of it, you should still discuss it with her and tell her that you're not cool with this--she should still contribute the extra--especially since it's much closer to the day now.
My mom was the same way. At my wedding when the toasts were over and most brides thank their guests for coming, I toasted my mother and said that she did a great job on "our" day as she enjoyed referring to it as. It brought on much laughter.
Anyway, there really isn't much you can do IF your parents are footing the whole bill. If they aren't, then you simply need to explain to her that you simply cannot afford to add these additional people and that they cannot be invited. Good luck!!!
@honeymead: Agreed! There's no problem with putting your foot down when you have already given her a deadline 2 MONTHS ago, heck I would say that is fine even if you gave her the deadline 2 weeks ago. And if they are paying for the wedding, talk about how this is going to affect your budget and how you appreciate their help, but you can't just add people whenever you want because the funds are already going somewhere else.
I totally hear you, lady. I often have to remind her that.
I do agree though if she is footing the bill then, unfortunately, her opinion counts more than if she wasn't paying.
Stay strong! :) Use your FI as a rock, and ask for his advice and help in the matter.
You could always tell her they can receive an announcement after the wedding. That's what we are doing for some of the people our families said they would like to be notified. We are inviting some of my moms neighbors but I grew up with some of their kids and the others are SUPER wonderful to my mom since I left my home. They take her trash out and shovel the snow and mow her lawn when she is sick, so hell yes they are invited to the reception, granted, ours only cost $6.50 a head, so that's not too bad for us, and they are wonderful people. We are even inviting some of our own neighbors and my grandparents neighbors, but that's just what we do in my family. FIs family is only inviting the aunts and uncles, but to each their own.
My dad (parents are divorced) is footing 90% of the bill. It's really not entirely about the money, I'm just feeling frustrated that there seems to be no grounds of respect here. Like it's no big deal to add 10 people to the guest list 2 days after the invites have gone out. Plus, she knows some of my friends aren't even able to invite a guest because the guest list was getting out of control and boom, 10 more people. I'm sure it will be fine, it's just been a long day.
On the bright side, invites are out, slideshow is done, first dress fitting went great, decor and floral decisions 90% made. Aaahhh...feeling better already :)
@BlondeBride090211: Is there a limit to the amount of guests the fire marshall will allow at your venue? (Or maybe you could tell your mother there is?)
...I have the same "type" of mom.
She's saying "etiquette says if you've been invited to a wedding your expected to invite them to your next wedding (in the family)"
...well at $85/head, screw etiquette!
Hey, if your friends can't be invited, then her neighbors shouldn't be if you don't know them. And, the invites already went out, times UP! Sorry Mom...but that's just my pov.
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It's MY wedding!!
I never thought I would be the one to rant about my own mother on the internet but my head is going to explode!! After I spend days reading about different aspects of the wedding and making a final, educated decision, she always has a different opinion. Today, she decided to ask for 5 extra invites to invite the neighbors, THE NEIGHBORS!! I did not grow up in her neighborhood and I asked for a finalized list of her BEST friends 2 months ago!! Now I have to factor in 10 more guests at $100 per head. Super awesome.