(Closed) Mom insists on catering for 160 people

posted 6 years ago in Food
  • poll: Would you trust your family to make food for 160 people?
    Sure--if they're willing! : (2 votes)
    8 %
    No, I want them to have a good time! : (21 votes)
    84 %
    OMG, so much guilt! No, no, no, no! : (2 votes)
    8 %
    I don't see what the big deal is. It's just food. : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Tell her you love her and want her to be a party of your day – not scrambling around in the back?

     

    Can you get bids for things like an italian pasta meal that might be cheaper but not too “ethnic” for her guests?

    Post # 5
    Member
    3369 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    My mom insisted on handling everything for our 60 person, small wedding… and she was so busy, she missed out on a lot of “mother-daughter” moments, including having to rush out at the last minute to take care of something while I was getting my dress on.  Looking back, she really wishes she had been able to spend the time with me and my sisters, greeting guests as the MOB, instead of having the responsibilities of a caterer, coordinator, etc, etc…

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    6010 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Maybe you can show her the breakdown in your catering quotes versus what you’d have to spend to DIY it?  If you self-cater, you’ll have to rent all the plates, glasses, flatware, servingware, warming trays/chafing dishes, table sets, bar pieces, linens, napkins, etc… separately, which can add up to a lot.  Caterers often have a flat fee for all of these rentals.  On top of that, you’ll still have to buy the food and any preparation pieces you might need.  She might think she’s saving money, but when it comes down to it, she might not be saving very much at all.

    Finally, have you only gotten one quote, so far?  If so, shop around a bit.  By changing your menu choices or by looking for less expensive caterers, you might not have to use all of your parents’ money toward food.  ETA:  I see you’re doing this already!

    Post # 7
    Member
    65 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I had a same dilemma my cousin takes pictures and is just starting out. She is good I just want her to enjoy my day. So I went with a “professional”. It just seems like less drama, if you are disatified with something its easier for you to tell and stranger and have them fix it then, tell your own family. I would just tell her she is going to have enough worries just to enjoy your day.

    Post # 8
    Member
    5655 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I think that even if she is capable of doing it she’ll likely regret not being able to take in the day with you… same with your aunts.

    We considered catering ourselves too… for far fewer people. Ultimately though I wanted my family to enjoy the day with me and NOT be making the day happen.

    You can’t put a price on your mom being there to see you and your now husband taking in each other and the wonderful day. It’s hard not to miss things when someone else is taking care of everything…. if not impossible when you’re part of making it happen.

    We had a friend of ours be our DOC and my mom is FOREVER grateful… along with my grandma who know they would’ve missed so much if they had been getting things in order.

    I would put my foot done that her place is next to you as your mom and NOT caterer on that day… especially with that size of function.

    Post # 10
    Member
    5668 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @mzjohnwood: That sounds like a good plan. If your mom declines, then decline her money. Let her know that you appreciate her offer and are getting it catered because you want to spend time with her. Then put a deposit down with the Italian restaurant (sounds delicious, btw).

    What is she going to do, show up at the wedding ready to serve chili out of a crockpot and ladle anyway? Actually, that would be pretty funny… 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    That’s awesome!  $10 sounds pretty great to me.

    The other posters have good points you can bring up with your mom.  I’d also try to frame in terms of you being selfish – she may not care about working through your dinner, but YOU want her near you, you need her, you don’t want to miss out on even one mother-daughter moment, you want all of her attention on you, etc…

    The topic ‘Mom insists on catering for 160 people’ is closed to new replies.

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