Mom is asking if I want a baby shower …

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

honestly? sounds painful and awkward. i’d bite the bullet and buy everything myself. if you do get presents when the baby is born, you can always return them or exchange for stuff that we need. (you WILL need more stuff)


Post # 4
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would just have the shower.  It might be painful, but it’s short.

Post # 5
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

You could think of it like a crappy day at work. You really don’t want to go and it kinda sucks but at least you get paid for your time!

Post # 6
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Have a Baby-Que.  It’s a barbeque get-together that happens to be a shower.  Much more casual and laid back.  No baby games.  And beer for the non-pregnant guests.  I am sure you could invite some of your husband’s Army unit and their wives/girlfriends to something like that.  You could also use it as a way to meet new people in your neighborhood.  (I would probably learn towards sending out two types of invites, baby shower ones with registry info to the people you already know and barbeque ones without registry info to new friends.)

Post # 7
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Here’s what I’d do:

Have the shower, but limit it to family members and anyone you consider ‘close’ at this point.

Go ahead and send invitations to the people back in VA you would have invited if they were local, and they will probably just send a gift.  Chances are, if they’re that close to you anyway they’d send you something without having been invited.  Or, if your mom is webernet savvy she can create a facebook event and leave it public so your friends can see it, and they’ll likely contact you or her to send you something without needing to be invited to a physical shower.  Just depends on your crowd though, some people might side-eye getting invited to an event everyone know’s there is no way in hell they could attend.

Post # 8
6953 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@pineapplez17:  +1 Two hours of really awkward conversation and wanting it all to be over for hundreds of dollars? I’d do it. 

@iarebridezilla:  Alternately, you could do a virtual shower with your friends in VA. We did this for a friend who moved from CA to NY a few years ago. Basically, we sent out invites with the registry info, her shipping address and the url for her livestream account. People mailed her things. Then on the particular day & time she logged on, we all logged in and she opened presents while we used the chat feature to oooh and ahhh. The original plan was for the rest of us to get together and have shower games and food but that got nixed. 

Post # 11
6685 posts
Bee Keeper

@iarebridezilla:  We never took anything home or opened up anything baby related before the kids came home from the hospital. Never had a baby shower, because I’m not big on soliciting gifts in any form.   The truth is that babies don’t need much when they first come home.  There are only a few things  that you will need right away and if someone sends you a duplicate later on, just exchange the thing.   

Etiquette-wise, I wouldn’t allow an immediate family member to host a shower for me since that’s like asking for presents for your own.  But if one of your mom’s friends or your friends wanted to do it,and you think it would be nice, just go  and have fun. In no way is it a  sad and pathetic demonstration.   Everyone knows you’ve just moved!  

Totally disagree with the advice to invite people from VA to a shower in Seattle or to make a blanket FB invite to a shower out west.   Not cool and absolutely reeks of  gift grabbiness.  

Post # 12
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@beachbride1216:  Yes, this. Co-ed fun with good food and drinks. Our friends did this and it was really nice.

Post # 13
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

I like @beachbride1216 idea! It’s co-ed, there is beer, and presents! Win for everyone Laughing

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