Mom is driving me crazy!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
42522 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Orangefreshy:  I suggest you simply stop letting her push your buttons. She sounds like she is trying to help, but her ideas simply don’t work with yours. When she comes up with an idea or shows you something she has found, acknowledge her effort, but then tell her no.

“Wow Mom. You went to a lot of effort to find that for us. __ and I have decided we want __ but I do appreciate the time you took to find and share this with me.”

Many Moms think of weddings in their generation when they become involved in wedding planning with their daughters. Things have changed. She will probaby do a 180 when she sees the end results.

ps A display of childhood pics is not something you SHOULD have at a wedding. Many people do not.

Post # 4
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m sorry you are going through this.  It sounds to me like you have tried a lot of things and are doing a good job trying to deflect and give her projects, etc. Can you sit down with her and tell her how hurtful it is that she isn’t getting behind your vision for your wedding?  And explain how that puts you in a tough position?  And explain what you are looking for?  I think you need to confront her directly when she seems like she’s doing the opposite of what you want.

I think you are going to have to flat out tell her that she can absolutely not do a slideshow, period.  I think it will be stressful for you because it doesn’t sound like she is going to stick to your guidelines.  It might be nice to have one of adult pictures, but I can almost guarantee from the sounds of it she is so stuck on this issue that no matter what you say she is going to put in childhood pics.

And honestly, if all else fails, you may just have to distance her from the wedding planning process.  As sad as that is I just don’t know what else you can do. Or show her things once they are already picked/done.

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