Mom is in hospital ..should shower this weekend be postponed?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

regit45:  YES.

People will understand. 

Post # 3
Member
1619 posts
Bumble bee

Hysterectomy is a major surgery.  Even without complicaitons, she probably would not have felt up to the physical part of hosting, a party this coming Sat.  She MAY (or may not) have felt up to others carrying out the plans she’d put in place.  

Since she’d had complications and an extended stay in the hosp and is still ‘out of it’ I suspect it may be quite a while before she really feels up to even just attending and mostly sitting at a shower. 

I think it’s great that your bridesmaids can pull it together, and think they should plan on doing just that – regardless of whenever you decide to have the shower.  I agree that it would feel weird to have the party without her (guestlist notwithstanding) so I would probably try to postpone … I think everyone would understand.  Similarly, you would need to understand that some who have RSVP’ed yes for this date may not be able to make it for the new date. 

Hope your mother is on the mend soon. 

Post # 5
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

YES I absolutely think you should postpone the shower. The truth is your mom may not feel up to hosting a party for at least another 1 month, but possibly more. When is your wedding?

My wedding was originally supposed to be in May, but I postponed it to August because my mom felt so bad, bloated, delicate, and unable to travel after her hysterectomy at the beginning of January. Even though her surgery went perfectly with no complications, it is a major surgery and she experienced a lot of pain and swelling, and knew she wouldn’t feel comfortable traveling and partying so soon.

Post # 6
Member
1619 posts
Bumble bee

 

regit45:  Having had major surgery myself, I’ll just say that I constantly overestimated what I was capable of, until … I wan’t capable of it. 

I think it’s pretty easy to think that surgery is “no big deal” and I’ll be back to completely normal in a few days.  I was in many ways back to normal in a few days, but my stamina was low (requiring afternoon naps, etc) for quite some time.  Depending on her plans (making the food, vs. paying for it catered; having it at home and needing to clean the house for a party vs. having it at another location; 10 family/close friends who are more about the company than the atmosphere vs. 30 people who are looking for a fancy party; etc) in a month she may be up to doing parts of her original plan, but if she was planning on hosting it at her house and doing all the food, favors, games etc.  A big party would have been more than I could do at a month out.  I’d have backup in place for others to divvy up the work.     

I think most of us just don’t like to admit when we can’t do something.  

Post # 8
Member
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

regit45:  I would postpone it until your mom is feeling better. She’s a huge part of it and I think it’s important for it to stay that way. Hope she gets better soon after having such a major surgery.

Post # 9
Member
6270 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

if you are able to reschedule, i think you should.  but if there is no other date available, then keep it as planned.

 

 

Post # 10
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Honestly, I am surprised that you need a post for this.. of course you should postpone the party! You should spend time with your mother right now as she obviously needs you! The party can be made to fit on another day! The end of the day your mom is more important than a party.. and the party was obviously something that was important to her! So spend your precious time with her and help her to a speedy recovery! Then share your memories of your shower together!

Post # 11
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

regit45:  Yeah, you definitely can’t postpone the wedding. Is it possible to postpone the shower until the middle of June or so? At least that gives, in my mind (considering my mom’s recovery), a chance that your mom might feel up to attending.

If it is going to be a huuuuge deal to postpone the shower, I would say just do it as planned… since honestly at this point I would be worried about your mom feeling up to attending the wedding itself, not just the shower.

Post # 13
Member
5192 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

regit45:  Reschedule.  You want to look back and have your mom at your shower.  

Post # 14
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

regit45:  I would 100% post-pone .. I hope she has a fast recovery! 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  lannjam.
Post # 15
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza

I would postpone it if possible. I’m sure you’re mom wouldn’t want to miss you shower (especially after all of the work she’s put into it) and it sounds like you don’t really want her to miss it either.  I’d postpone it as late as you can. I hope your mom feels better soon! 

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